its a combo of fear, how they were raised, and also you have to consider this... so many young men were raised by women- so they do fear women in some regard... But the BIG one is fear... all the acting like 'cocky assholes' is nothing more than projection... that will change with time for them. Girls who ask guys out ain't desperate. They just know what they want...
Hey, why not wait for a girl to initiate? Then we know they're interested. When you're asked, you're in the position of power, to reject or accept. When you do the asking, you're in the position of weakness.
I have taken the initiative of asking 3 differant girl out and all 3 times I ended up getting embarrassed. The last time the girl had 3 guys beat me up for asking her. So I'm not going to put myself in that position again. I have great respect for any girl that asks a guy out because it goes against everyones pre-concieved notion.
Well thanks I actually had no fear of asking a guy if he liked me and then i did and he said yes but later on my friends asked him in letter that had my name on it then he just asked who sent and i told him my friends did and he just left it at that but then i asked him personally and he said "no that he couldn't see it" not to mention that he was smiling like the whole thing was a joke
It's a really scary thing. that's why the cocky ones are able to do it. I guess if you want them to ask you you have to make it easy for them , let them know you are interested make them feel confident that they might get yes.
Guys have to have confidence in themselves to ask a girl out. Some are mostly like cocky and jerks if they approach a girl to only have sex unless that girl is OK with it.
Some guys may genuinely not be interested in a relationship. A lot are non commital. Girls who ask guys out are not necessarily desperate. they can be really hot and guys are generally intimdated by them, so the girl makes the move or helps it along.
Seriously as a man who has been dumped by nearly ev ery woman I have went out with, I am terrified of woman and rejection. It takes me a long to recovery from rejection and I still suffer bad self image problems from the cruel things that were said to me. I have been single for nearly 20 years, and have only dated a few times but that was enough. Lame huh? I am a good guy, and not bad looking, I guess I just don't have what they were looking for. I was always to nice, buying flowers and stuff. Trying to work out our differences when she was being a bitch to me, and thinking...Man this guy just doesn't have a clue...Oh well, I am happy now, and can take care of myself...Maybe someday I'll meet the right kind of girl.
2
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
I used to be shy when I was younger and slightly am today. I try, like every man should, to let rejection roll off my back, but it's kind of hard to put yourself on the line only to essentially be told that you're not good enough. I understand where you're coming from, but it's not like the possibility of rejection is just a little thing to get over.
6
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It just seems dumb to make a move unless the girl gives some kind of obvious signal she wants you to because so many girls have so many guy friends you can never tell if you're in the friend zone or not. If I'm in the friend zone and make some move on a girl she's going to either classify me as a man whore or everything will be awkward after that and the friendship will pretty much end.
5
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Men with the balls to approach a girl were hunted to extinction by the feminist movement in the late 1970s. All surviving men with courage are confined to museums.
The modern generation had their spirits systematically broken at a young age.
funny and true. An entire generation of boys were raised by mothers who grew up in the peak of the feminist movement. The were taught since they could crawl that men were evil oppressors and they must enver be evil like previous generations. OF COURSE they don't have any balls,
First no we never think a girl is desperate. Its more her showing interest for the guys to know that he can now start the chase because she is into him. Here is the deal, girls seem to usually push a guy away when he is trying to ask her to hang out. They always say they are busy but then leave a little hope for him by say something that will keep him around just so she gets attention. Its absolutely insane how many girls reject even after a guy takes time to get to know them.
Yes, it's non-comprehensible. Men as well as most women don't understand why they are running this pattern. When we are in our feminine energy we need the attention. It's our emotional dependency on men to give it to us. No one else, not even our children can give us what you have. The strength, the initiative, the emotional stability.
You are the one's we can lean on after we stormed all over you until we completely exhausted ourselves. And hopefully not be judged as being hysterical or insan
As one female said " the trick is to decide which one you want and then try to make it seem like it is his idea" If they are going to make all the decisions it is easier to wait and just be "selected". The only problem with this is that you will get the desperate ones as well...
Why should anyone waste their time trying to plant an idea in someone elses head ?
That encourages deceit. It makes things really awkward. If some1 plant an idea, it would be difficult to NOT think the other was doing the same. Everything suddenly has a double meaning.
People say don't read into things, at the same time are encouraged to waste their time, trying to get others read into things. That's on par with expecting somr1 to learn ONLY how to speak a language without hearing it spoke.
Aren't you old enough to tell someone politely to f*** off? ;) Ahem...Seriously, before you make a "move" she's been sending signals that you caught anyways. Even when she didn't notice you. That's what you respond to more than a visual in spite of what's said about the visuality (is that even a word?) of men...And yes, there are many desperate women as well as many desperate men out there.
it depends on the guy's situation and if he likes the girl enough to go out with her. I've liked girls and didn't ask them out because I knew the relationship would have no future, just cause you like someone doesn't mean you'll want to marry them.
and no, I don't see the girl as desperate if she makes the first move, I see her as brave and out going. and I wouldn't mind a girl just wanting sex from me.
yeah before you go insulting everyone, think of their back grounds, me for example I've always struggled making friends, I'm always too smart and logical, and for crying out loud, I was always the last one to be picked on any compulsory sporting activity at school or any team event , so how do you think that makes us feel? lonely? rejected? ignored? and what do we do? push our feelings inside because there the things that always get hurt and no matter how much you hope this get better they never do, until the point where they are now so deep, you don't know who you are anymore, its society's f***ing fault.
I have always taking a bit of time when asking a lady out. I have been fairly successful, although have not had a large amount of experience. It is hard if you like someone to put it all on the line and risk blowing it when your quite happy trudging along.
I will approach a girl but I like to know before that there is an invitation to do so. If I catch her looking at me, puting herself in places I am at, then I will know it is okay to say hi.
I will admit that there are times I would rather live with regret than rejection.
omg I feel bad for you no ask a girl out if you like her DO IT its bettr to speak and look like a fool (bsides she might say yes and ull feel like flying)than stand in the shadows and hope something happens because it usually dusnt like once this one guy and I liked each othr but he was scared to ask me so I kept waiting but he nvr asked me and I got ovr him and we cudv been together but he was scared I ended up askin him but what if I hadn't you can get ovr rejection if you hav confidence so go get some!
I am the exact guy you are describing...both the shy afraid to make a move guy, and the asshole. This is what I finally realized...I am an asshole to girls I don't respect because I know I can sleep with them and then never have to deal with them again, ie. I could careless what they think about me. On the other side, I have never had a problem getting girls...and it took me up until law school when I actually had to ask out girls to realize that every hookup I have ever had or girl I dated was because SHE made the first move. Now I often find myself being extremely shy, somewhat awkward when there is a girl I actually like because I have never had to ask a girl out! It's not that I am afraid of 'rejection' I think it is more as if I have to be 'the perfect guy' which leads me to not act myself...
Too many conceited bitches these days. Women are often very disrespectful when they reject a guy, with that in mind, who the hell will put themselves out there? Not only that but not only we have to make the first move, but we also have to put up with their damn tests, to make ourselves datable and attractive for them...its not easy to be a guy man.
Im super late to this but to make a long story short I will explain a bit here.I myself as a cute/hot guy am not scared of getting rejected by a beautiful girl.To tell you the truth I think most guys don't really know what they are really afraid of when it comes time to talking to a pretty girl.I can easily carry on a conversation with an ugly girl well because she's ugly, but when it comes time to talking with a pretty girl now that's when things get hard and its difficult to carry on a conversation and not making a fool of oneself.Most of us guys really prefer for a pretty girl to make the first move but some guys actually do make the first move.Same goes for the girl,girls always expect the guy to make the first move either because they are shy or because they are afraid of rejection.I understand that its the guy that has to make the first move but it can be pretty dam hard sometimes.0.o
It's purely a rejection thing, most guys just consider that hot girl over in the corner to be either A to pretty and therefore tired of dealing with guys walking up anmd talking to her or B that they'll be a bitch and turn them down. I agree with you, you'll never know unless you try, but it can be hard for guys to build up the nerve, or to blow a conversation halfway through and think of themselves as stupid for messing it up.
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its a combo of fear, how they were raised, and also you have to consider this... so many young men were raised by women- so they do fear women in some regard... But the BIG one is fear... all the acting like 'cocky assholes' is nothing more than projection... that will change with time for them. Girls who ask guys out ain't desperate. They just know what they want...
Hey, why not wait for a girl to initiate? Then we know they're interested. When you're asked, you're in the position of power, to reject or accept. When you do the asking, you're in the position of weakness.
agreed
I have taken the initiative of asking 3 differant girl out and all 3 times I ended up getting embarrassed. The last time the girl had 3 guys beat me up for asking her. So I'm not going to put myself in that position again. I have great respect for any girl that asks a guy out because it goes against everyones pre-concieved notion.
What they did was illegal.
beating me up?
man I would love to kick those guy's asses for what they did to you, especially their leader.
Well thanks I actually had no fear of asking a guy if he liked me and then i did and he said yes but later on my friends asked him in letter that had my name on it then he just asked who sent and i told him my friends did and he just left it at that but then i asked him personally and he said "no that he couldn't see it" not to mention that he was smiling like the whole thing was a joke
Beat up for asking a woman out? What is this, a PG 13 teen comedy, or a lie. I can bet, both!
It's a really scary thing. that's why the cocky ones are able to do it. I guess if you want them to ask you you have to make it easy for them , let them know you are interested make them feel confident that they might get yes.
when you have asked guys out how did that work?
Guys have to have confidence in themselves to ask a girl out. Some are mostly like cocky and jerks if they approach a girl to only have sex unless that girl is OK with it.
Some guys may genuinely not be interested in a relationship. A lot are non commital. Girls who ask guys out are not necessarily desperate. they can be really hot and guys are generally intimdated by them, so the girl makes the move or helps it along.
Seriously as a man who has been dumped by nearly ev ery woman I have went out with, I am terrified of woman and rejection. It takes me a long to recovery from rejection and I still suffer bad self image problems from the cruel things that were said to me. I have been single for nearly 20 years, and have only dated a few times but that was enough. Lame huh? I am a good guy, and not bad looking, I guess I just don't have what they were looking for. I was always to nice, buying flowers and stuff. Trying to work out our differences when she was being a bitch to me, and thinking...Man this guy just doesn't have a clue...Oh well, I am happy now, and can take care of myself...Maybe someday I'll meet the right kind of girl.
I used to be shy when I was younger and slightly am today. I try, like every man should, to let rejection roll off my back, but it's kind of hard to put yourself on the line only to essentially be told that you're not good enough. I understand where you're coming from, but it's not like the possibility of rejection is just a little thing to get over.
It just seems dumb to make a move unless the girl gives some kind of obvious signal she wants you to because so many girls have so many guy friends you can never tell if you're in the friend zone or not. If I'm in the friend zone and make some move on a girl she's going to either classify me as a man whore or everything will be awkward after that and the friendship will pretty much end.
Men with the balls to approach a girl were hunted to extinction by the feminist movement in the late 1970s. All surviving men with courage are confined to museums.
The modern generation had their spirits systematically broken at a young age.
LOL.. someones a little butt hurt about it... lol jk
hahaha.. sorry.. that's hilarious
funny and true. An entire generation of boys were raised by mothers who grew up in the peak of the feminist movement. The were taught since they could crawl that men were evil oppressors and they must enver be evil like previous generations. OF COURSE they don't have any balls,
i love rednecks
@ luciius46ad
?
I actually agree to a point, just look at how many guys in their teens dress, looks like a bunch of Justin Beiber wannabes lol.
AMEN... this should be best answer... it's even better than my answer
kind of a broad generalization don't you think?
I bloody hate feminism... yes and I'm a female!
Ahhhh, the cry of of a redneck.
First no we never think a girl is desperate. Its more her showing interest for the guys to know that he can now start the chase because she is into him. Here is the deal, girls seem to usually push a guy away when he is trying to ask her to hang out. They always say they are busy but then leave a little hope for him by say something that will keep him around just so she gets attention. Its absolutely insane how many girls reject even after a guy takes time to get to know them.
Yes, it's non-comprehensible. Men as well as most women don't understand why they are running this pattern. When we are in our feminine energy we need the attention. It's our emotional dependency on men to give it to us. No one else, not even our children can give us what you have. The strength, the initiative, the emotional stability.
You are the one's we can lean on after we stormed all over you until we completely exhausted ourselves. And hopefully not be judged as being hysterical or insan
Excellent, Excellent comment, JoiceJoker!
Yet 40 years ago, they were all so thick and blind to the realities of life!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment.
If you want to know where it all went wrong and how it has ruined matters, try Denis Towers' book, "Australia Imploded!"
As one female said " the trick is to decide which one you want and then try to make it seem like it is his idea" If they are going to make all the decisions it is easier to wait and just be "selected". The only problem with this is that you will get the desperate ones as well...
Why should anyone waste their time trying to plant an idea in someone elses head ?
That encourages deceit. It makes things really awkward. If some1 plant an idea, it would be difficult to NOT think the other was doing the same. Everything suddenly has a double meaning.
People say don't read into things, at the same time are encouraged to waste their time, trying to get others read into things. That's on par with expecting somr1 to learn ONLY how to speak a language without hearing it spoke.
Aren't you old enough to tell someone politely to f*** off? ;) Ahem...Seriously, before you make a "move" she's been sending signals that you caught anyways. Even when she didn't notice you. That's what you respond to more than a visual in spite of what's said about the visuality (is that even a word?) of men...And yes, there are many desperate women as well as many desperate men out there.
it depends on the guy's situation and if he likes the girl enough to go out with her. I've liked girls and didn't ask them out because I knew the relationship would have no future, just cause you like someone doesn't mean you'll want to marry them.
and no, I don't see the girl as desperate if she makes the first move, I see her as brave and out going. and I wouldn't mind a girl just wanting sex from me.
yeah before you go insulting everyone, think of their back grounds, me for example I've always struggled making friends, I'm always too smart and logical, and for crying out loud, I was always the last one to be picked on any compulsory sporting activity at school or any team event , so how do you think that makes us feel? lonely? rejected? ignored? and what do we do? push our feelings inside because there the things that always get hurt and no matter how much you hope this get better they never do, until the point where they are now so deep, you don't know who you are anymore, its society's f***ing fault.
I have always taking a bit of time when asking a lady out. I have been fairly successful, although have not had a large amount of experience. It is hard if you like someone to put it all on the line and risk blowing it when your quite happy trudging along.
I will approach a girl but I like to know before that there is an invitation to do so. If I catch her looking at me, puting herself in places I am at, then I will know it is okay to say hi.
I will admit that there are times I would rather live with regret than rejection.
omg I feel bad for you no ask a girl out if you like her DO IT its bettr to speak and look like a fool (bsides she might say yes and ull feel like flying)than stand in the shadows and hope something happens because it usually dusnt like once this one guy and I liked each othr but he was scared to ask me so I kept waiting but he nvr asked me and I got ovr him and we cudv been together but he was scared I ended up askin him but what if I hadn't you can get ovr rejection if you hav confidence so go get some!
I am the exact guy you are describing...both the shy afraid to make a move guy, and the asshole. This is what I finally realized...I am an asshole to girls I don't respect because I know I can sleep with them and then never have to deal with them again, ie. I could careless what they think about me. On the other side, I have never had a problem getting girls...and it took me up until law school when I actually had to ask out girls to realize that every hookup I have ever had or girl I dated was because SHE made the first move. Now I often find myself being extremely shy, somewhat awkward when there is a girl I actually like because I have never had to ask a girl out! It's not that I am afraid of 'rejection' I think it is more as if I have to be 'the perfect guy' which leads me to not act myself...
Too many conceited bitches these days. Women are often very disrespectful when they reject a guy, with that in mind, who the hell will put themselves out there? Not only that but not only we have to make the first move, but we also have to put up with their damn tests, to make ourselves datable and attractive for them...its not easy to be a guy man.
Men don't afraid to make a move for girls they like. They afraid of rejection but it's not a big deal if they really like a girl.
I guess you and your friends need to think maybe you are over confident not those guys who are interested in you.
P.s I really respect girls who ask guys out.
Im super late to this but to make a long story short I will explain a bit here.I myself as a cute/hot guy am not scared of getting rejected by a beautiful girl.To tell you the truth I think most guys don't really know what they are really afraid of when it comes time to talking to a pretty girl.I can easily carry on a conversation with an ugly girl well because she's ugly, but when it comes time to talking with a pretty girl now that's when things get hard and its difficult to carry on a conversation and not making a fool of oneself.Most of us guys really prefer for a pretty girl to make the first move but some guys actually do make the first move.Same goes for the girl,girls always expect the guy to make the first move either because they are shy or because they are afraid of rejection.I understand that its the guy that has to make the first move but it can be pretty dam hard sometimes.0.o
most girls are not afraid-- except on gag. & it does not have to be the guys first move. you want to believe that. that's your choice.
It's purely a rejection thing, most guys just consider that hot girl over in the corner to be either A to pretty and therefore tired of dealing with guys walking up anmd talking to her or B that they'll be a bitch and turn them down. I agree with you, you'll never know unless you try, but it can be hard for guys to build up the nerve, or to blow a conversation halfway through and think of themselves as stupid for messing it up.
... or get arrested for "harassment".