Why does my boyfriend stare and flirt with other girls?

Question

My boyfriend is with me all day, we buy food , do errands, go out to eat, etc. it’s still new like 1 month 3 weeks. He always open the door for me or for car door, holds my drink when we go out or snack, but I don’t like how he always looks at other girls. All the time when we go out there is a hot girl and he stares at her or checks her out of the cashier or lady that talks to him get nervous around him don’t lose eye contact with him and flirt and he does too and gets close or says thank u twice super loud while I’m next to him or in car and it gets me mad and feel low. I like to go out in dresses heels dress up I have long blonde hair want my own business and don’t do that with guys. We don’t hold hands just walk side to side with hand on my back that’s it. All girls want to steal him and I never had boyfriend some guys stare at me but that’s it no one had asked
Me out. I like chocolate muffins and he brought me one day a big box full of them and was so happy lol

JustAMeddler · Accepted Answer

I have your best cure milady;

Communicate. You're in a relationship! Pour out your heart as often as you need to, because it is normal for your partner to understand you.

I can't say that just staring is wrong. You can just look harmlessly right? However, I feel like he shouldn't be flirting in a relationship if you want me to be honest. You apparently don't like it either. Ask him why he does it without getting mad. Emotional control is having control over a conversation. Ask him to stop it, because you don't feel comfortable with it.

Really all the advice we can give is talk about it.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

He's in a relationship - he's not DEAD.

Nearly any man (and quite a lot of women) are going to look at other attractive people even when they are in a relationship. That is simply human nature.

Even if steak and lobster was your favorite meal, and you got to eat it every day, you'd still look at burgers or pizza or burritos or whatever - even if they weren't your favorite.

It shouldn't matter where he gets his appetite as long as he comes home to eat.

LauraS345 · Accepted Answer

He's insecure. He NEEDS women to like him to validate that he's attractive. It has nothing to do with you. Whether he's emotionally cheating, physically cheating, or none of the above - he's obviously got some personal issues he needs to deal with on his own. Stand up for yourself. If you don't like it, tell him. What's the point in HAVING a boyfriend, if he doesn't ACT like one?

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

Cause he's not serious about you, your're just optional until he finds a girl he really wants. That's why he doesn't care about flirting and checking other women out in front of you. Sorry but this guy is rubbish and sending red flags every where, I wouldn't stick with him much longer if i were you.

Psychotic-Panda · Accepted Answer

I can understand how everyone wants to check people out, but if he's doing it all the time and right in front of you then he may not be ready for commitment.

jrwashere2014 · Answer

Now to be this type of guy. I can give you an honest opinion. Most guys are timid to show affection. Holding hands or a pure focus. Especially when people are around could be a sign of edging masculinity. A sign that he has to be in control. He sounds super sweet though. And like a gentleman. But still don't ignore the signs. You have a voice. If your uncomfortable with the behavior speak up. Moments of love and happiness are bull invoid if the person you adore makes you feel unwanted or as if you don't compare to someone else. Especially strangers. It's still new. Talk about these problems. If he's the guy you describe things will get better. Claim your man girl. You got claws use them. Lol

battosai78 · Answer

Looking at other attractive people is just something both men and women do as we get older we learn to control our eyes along with our desires. Considering your age range I'm guessing your boyfriend is pretty young. He probably can't help himself or doesn't even realize what he is doing is wrong or hurting you. You need to talk to him and let him know. If he cares about you he will make a conscious effort to curb his behavior although it may be difficult at first. I know a lot of men including myself who had to train themselves not to look at a woman's chest while talking to a woman. Don't suffer in silence. You're not being controlling. Although don't get too paranoid with the "everybody wants my man" mentality. That could be detrimental to your relationship.

DamienTate · Answer

Staring at other girls isn't always something one can control. It's not that he's trying to hurt you, he just can't help it. The same goes with flirting, in a dialogue, it is common for one person to match the energy of the other, so if someone starts talking to you all flirty, unless you have other goals, you are likely going to flirt back.
It kinda sounds like your relationship is still new, so if it really hurts you that much that he's looking at and sometimes flirting with other girls, tell him. He might not be aware it's happening, and if he's committed to the relationship he'll work on not doing that as often. It won't stop completely right away, so you will need to be understanding, but an open dialogue is the key to a lasting relationship.

WARMACHINE47007 · Answer

I feel this more of a natural thing for all boys and men of all ages. It's just something we do, it doesn't necessarily mean that we are or are gonna stray away from the commitment. If it really bothers you, you can think of it as if he's appreciating art or you could confront him about it.

Rycer · Answer

Many guys don't realize how much it is like a punch in the stomach when they do that when they are with you. But you have to let him know that you don't like it and that you won't put up with it. If he doesn't stop then you know he won't be loyal to you.

Anonymous · Answer

Why don't you actually try to communicate rather than asking people who don't even know him about him? People on here are going based on opinions on the situation, not based on knowing him. If you can't communicate, then you shouldn't be together at all.

Paris13 · Answer

It sounds to me although he May like you, He is no Steady Eddy, And Not Ready for a Real Relationship.
If he was, He would not Keep Making someone Amazing like you, Look like the Fool that I know that you will Not be... Eventually. xx

Anon-ymous1 · Answer

He's allowed to look where he wants. You don't own him or his eyesight. This is something that you can bring up to him if you like, but don't expect him to respond favorably-- he will likely consider it to be an attempt to control him and take away his independence.

ba353 · Answer

Alright now your boyfriend is actually not your boyfriend if he's still staring at other ladies flirting around that's not your if you want a real man you need to come out and look for man you need to make him know that he's a man and you're a lady and if he's not stepping up please I ask you to leave him alone

yoozername · Answer

Women are like cars. I have car, I take very good care of it, maintain it well, take it out for a good ride... give it a good thrashing on a Sunday morning... but as much as I love my car, it's always nice to walk around a showroom and check out different models, with less owners and hardly any mileage on the clock. Occasionally I'll treat myself to a track experience... leave the old rust bucket at home and ease myself into something that looks amazing and performs much better

lernulo · Answer

He looks a great gentleman, and what you say isn't enough reasons to say he is cheating at you. But, if you dislike his behaviour you must tell him, he must respect you.
Details are a great aphrodisiac but, if he doesn't respect you, he isn't a good choice like a boyfriend, (may be lovers but not boyfriend) so tell him how you feel and how he takes it.

Ram0n83 · Answer

He's flirty and social. And it sounds like he must be a keeper if other girls like him, too. And some people say, "it's ok to look, just don't touch."

ScaryCool · Answer

Talk to him about it. Tell him it kind of hurts your feelings. He probably wouldn't like it if you did it so maybe he just needs a wake up call.

Delicious_Vicious702 · Answer

Okay first of all those women that I said oh just ignore it , no that is totally fucked up if you guys ignoring you guys are idiots heartless , if my girlfriend did that peace out I'm done. I'm not just going to be here for time pass, it's about me it's about me. Basically he's treating you like a friend with benefits. And seriously other women that ignoring it Go back and rethink yourself and your morals...

devonlatrill · Answer

People say its maturity but i personally think its just straight intrest if he's not as into you or doesn't feel a connection with you then it eill tend to happen. Most times i see there not a lot of equal connection between the 2 1 or the other is gonna feel less of a connection to there partner.

Robsinsf53 · Answer

Because you allow it. Tell him to pull his shit together or hit the road. If you don't put your foot down, he'll continue to walk all over you.

boston96 · Answer

Just ignore it, it's a natural thing for guys. It's not like he's asking the girl to slip off her clothes for him right then and there

clh72481 · Answer

All guys do that just ignore it or laugh at it. All that matters is that he choses to be with YOU not THEM.

Yakasmashi · Answer

He ISINT the one for u... if he does that shit flirt , stare at girls and etc... then that means he doesn't actually have feelings for u he using u

kaskas19 · Answer

You sound like an insecure lunatic girlfriend in junior high

Why does my boyfriend stare and flirt with other girls?

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