Ignoring someone who rejected you.

[naked-singularity]

I want some advice for this, because I think I'm doing the right thing for me, but I want to know if it's normal.

I was recently rejected by a girl who I had a rather large and serious crush on for some time. I felt very hurt, not necessarily because she rejected me, but because of the fact that she was very rude (she wouldn't make eye contact, only answered with one word answers, etc.) Although she didn't reject me with her words, she did so with her actions.

I just feel very hurt right now, and I feel that the best way to get over her is to ignore and or avoid her as much as I can. I think this is natural, but everyone in my life keeps telling me that I shouldn't avoid her, and that it's bad to avoid someone who rejects you. It's just that every time I see her, I feel like I'm in pain. I need to get over her, and I think "out of sight, out of mind" is the best way, but no one else seems to think so. What do you think? Am I just crazy for wanting to do this, or is it perfectly natural?

[Triiti]

It's natural to feel hurt by something like this, but you should try and understand it from her point of view. Unfortunately, sometimes women won't give you a chance, but nobody really wants to hurt another person, and if she could tell that she was being asked out and didn't want to hurt you, and didn't want to say yes, it doesn't leave her with a huge amount of choices. It sounds like she wanted to avoid the questions as best she could. If, after that, you don't want to see her, then try not to think about her. But don't try to go out of your way to avoid her. Of course, you should deal with it however you need to, but if you ignore her, it makes you look like a child. If she comes to you about it, let her know that for the time being you would like your space, and focus on something else. Besides, if she really did want to hurt you, would you want to enter into a relationship with that person anyway?

[art84]

You can't force a girl to have feelings for you, if she doesn't feel the same way. Just move on with your life, the girl seems to be mean and doesn't care about anyone but herself.

[oneforthetruth]

In a way they are right. Avoiding someone could be worse for you later, because you'll go out of your way to make sure you don't see her, but eventually you will bump into her, and the feelings you have may all come crawling back...and you don't want that, trust me...cause that will mean having to get over her all over again.

You can ignore her without avoiding and there would be nothing wrong with that, just try and carry on like nothing has happened...

[Girl_Interuppted]

This happened to me except I am the girl and I wasn't rejecting him, I'm just really shy and wanted him too. I realise how my nerves may have come across as rudeness and now he's completely avoiding me/won't even make eye contact. It may genuinely be that she likes you too - don't write her off until she verbalises it. by the way I am considered attractive so most guys don't think of me as shy but it's true.

[DS4L_]

Ignoring her might possibly help your situation, until you have a run in with her and that might all come pouring back, or the distance might give you a chance to move on so long as you let it. Also, if it were me I would probably act as if I could care less and wasn't phased by it, I guess sort of get them back that way?

[Anonymous]

I understand you completely but the best thing you can do for yourself is to face her. Maybe she isn't rejecting you but having a hard time at the moment. You're taking it as you, when it could be her.

[Anonymous]

Eh, she's doing the same thing. You cannot force things to work out against their will.

[Anonymous]

Take it to the limit