How do you feel about negging/ teasing as a flirting technique?

Question

I've heard from friends that around bfs/ or new guy potentials I have a habit of “negging” or teasing sometimes to the point of emasculating them. From my experience personally i dont realize i do this, but regardless it always seems to wrap men around my finger for whatever reason (maybe they like the strong personality?)

Have you ever done this or had it happen to you? What are your thoughts/ feelings on it. Explain your reasoning❤️❤️

razelove · Accepted Answer

Before all the pick-up artist craze and what not I couldn't help it, I'd hit on a woman and be like well, you know, if you had a different dress on... maybe if you wore less makeup... I don't think of it as "negging" I'm just brutally honest, some women get turned on by it, more get turned off.

As far as teasing, I can't help but tease when I'm dating or in a relationship, it makes things more fun, like ask sweetly for a sandwich with mustard, then when you get it be like woman, I asked for mayo! Just because it causes a moment, brief though it may be of frustration, and/or apologizing for a mistake that was never made, followed by giggles all around. Just an example.

Honestly, though it sounds counter-intuitive, my best method of hitting on women was to flirt, then say how things could never work out between us, for any reason whatsoever. If I couldn't think of anything because she was gorgeous and sweet, I'd talk about my squirrel penis, how it was teeny tiny and when I saw squirrels with their massive dicks I grew envious. The more unavailable you are, the more desirable you become.

Dating is weird, whatever works, works. If the guy feels emasculated, but he keeps seeing you, well, that's his problem, obviously you're doing something right ;)

Gabriel007 · Accepted Answer

I love it...
As to why you do it, it is instinct, it is a way for you of sorting out who has strong personalities and who doesn't...
As for why it wraps them around your finger it is because you are a challenge and someone that will keep them on their toes and push them forward...
This is an extremely attractive way of flirting, because it is a feeling of freedom to say anything and knowing that you can speak your mind without stepping on a poor little someones toes all the time,, I really like it, but not all my friends agree...

vivmatt · Accepted Answer

I like negging and teasing. Shows you really notice the person and pay attention to the way they are and the things they do. So much so that you can make fun. And if they're secure in themselves they'll find it funny and playful. It's really supposed to be pretend but if you aren't that close then it can come off rude. It all comes down to the type of person and relationship

GraveDoll · Accepted Answer

I didn't think it was a technique. I'm kind of naturally snarky so. I imagine before a guy started we would hate each other after one convoy. which is fine.

Jean-Marie_Céline · Answer

I think it depends. I noticed that although I didn't do it exactly on purpose, with some girls I wished to avoid and acted snarky and cold, they actually got more insistent.

sejla · Answer

It's not a good habit and might not cause you issues now but over time it might. With age it can come off as bitter. What is cute at 25 just won't be cute at 40.

SimpleRhubarb · Answer

That is a bad habit. Many people who make fun of their friends around new people don't do so on purpose, so now that you're aware of it, you should take steps to stop that behavior--EVEN if it makes you popular with the guys. Your friends will likely be around longer than the type of guy who takes companionship with those that make fun of people.

I used to do this a lot. Not just around guys, but just around anyone new I was trying to impress. I worked on it, and I rarely do it anymore. I noticed myself teasing my boyfriend around his friends and family when we first got together because I was subconsciously trying to make them like me and think I was funny, but I noticed that behavior, realized how it probably made him feel bad (and would make me feel bad if it was the other way around), and took action to stop doing that.

If you catch yourself teasing a friend around new people, don't just stop doing it, but also stop the conversation to apologize! For example: "Oh, gosh, I'm laughing so hard! Emma, do you remember the time you laughed so hard you peed? That was so embarrassing!" might be something you would say when teasing a friend. Apologize the SECOND you notice yourself doing that--"That was so embarrassing... Wait, I shouldn't have mentioned that. I didn't think about it, and I'm sorry." Then continue the conversation like it didn't happen.

You don't want to leave the teasing comment in the air for the new guy to laugh about, but you also don't want the conversation to linger on the comment at ALL, which is why you move on as soon as you apologize.

Good luck!

rjroy3 · Answer

I think they're behaviors that happen naturally when you have a certain attitude and the act of doing those things alone doesn't matter, so much as the attitude behind it. Someone who teases and playfully negs people naturally is someone who is at ease, comfortable, playful, non insecure and doesn't see people as above them or below them. Just as equals. Like you tease your friends all the time. Because they're you're friends, you're at ease and you're just playing around. Having a good time with them.

Being able to do that with the opposite sex displays the same personality traits/attitudes and that's what is attractive rather than the act of doing those things. It's not a technique per se, so much as embodying that attitude. Personally I know I tease a lot, but that's just a matter of my personality. It's how I grew up. The only people I'm not teasing much are people I think are either too soft, or I just don't like them lol. If I'm teasing you, then I like you. Guy or girl. If I'm not teasing you. I either don't like you or think you can't take it.

FatherJack · Answer

I'd reply in kind... I love banter and find being the target is more fun than dishing it out... because I truly DGAF , ex British Army , so savage humour and banter is ingrained into me. I am intuitive and can tell if a woman is just being a basic Mark 1 bitch or a banter queen. On one night out , many years back , I got a snarky acidic bitchy comment from one woman, and I replied.." well your mum had no complaints last night !! " and later on , left with one of her friends that was laughing hard at my cheeky fucker comment !!

JackSmy · Answer

Many women don't realize when they do it, just saying things that they think are funny, but REALLY HURTFUL and EMASCULATING to the men. I speak up, and say it, and they just laugh it off, like it is a joke, like nothing.
I work in an office with mostly women, and they just say all kinds of really degrading things, about their husbands, and even sons, sometimes!! I have no respect for them, saying that crap!
I have to wonder though, Is that how a woman feels, being judged and degraded as a 'second-class' person by society?
Equal rights, OK, but equal humiliation?

KeziL · Answer

I had a friend who would do that to flirt with guys, I could not stand to be around it. I felt so bad. That's so mean. I don't know how it worked but it seemed to quite often. It's just not how I roll. I go for a "sweet and chill" personality to get people to like me, like I want them to think of me as like a soft personality that's fun to hang out with, not a strong personality.

jtg13 · Answer

Could be just your way of weeding out potential mates.
You give what you want in return. Someone to match your interests.
This will attract both submissive to it and those to put you in your place.
Those who throw back are the ones to meet your level. Those who become wrapped become submissive to your will

kiran07 · Answer

hey ask me i know way better on this topic.

and comment :it will be way awesome to tease ur loved ones because love is all about spending more time with ur partner and teasing gives more happy, joy, closeness, and many more ideas and lot other things in love. etccc

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i've learned from the sheeple that they will always seek acceptance from those who aren't invited into the herd.

i'm guilty of your actions and need to stop this. i do this to men and women and it's stupid. no one wants to feel emasculated or defeminized

lightbulb27 · Answer

I'm familiar with it after doing some research and learning about it. It is a way of lowering someone else, taking them off their pedestal and it can be ok in some scenarios. I've used it lightly... more in the form of being honest. for example, comment on an outfit and how the shoes don't really fit.. but she still looks amazing. e. g couple a negative with a positive.

I used it by accident/subconsciously and that I don't like... I noticed it and she noticed it. I can be sarcastic like my father, and sarcasm can be bad... so I've learned to back off of it.

some people can handle it in stride, some people cannot. I really don't like to be lowered because I got that crap a lot as a kid and don't respond well to it. Remember what the Bible (the book) says..."Words, are like swords"! So true... so be conscious of what you are swinging and slashing. Some people don't care and use it as a ploy to find out who is tough enough. Be conscious of your motive.

BlessedDaddy · Answer

Hah! That was fucking funny.

If your girlfriend's complain but still have you around. Keep being yourself around them and their potentials. If they don't and you want to keep them as a friend. Change it. You seem to be aware of it enough to write it down here, so now you have no bullshit excuses.

It's the truly needy and insecure that beg for attention. And that's all that behaviour is, a form of begging at your friends expense. Sounds a little shitty to me but hey, I didn't know I was doing that.

Dolemite510 · Answer

I have a PhD in trash talking girls as a playful way to flirt it’s fun 😂 I find it a good way to be disarming if a girl acts like she’s hot shit. Backhanded compliments are the best like telling a girl I think she’s hot I don’t care what everyone else says 🤣🤣🤣

Anoniemus · Answer

Moronic in my opinion. It’s similar to how PUA advocates men to give women back handed compliments and be cruel to them. It works on insecure women, sure. Plenty of women aren’t going to want a man who is rude.

I just think the men who are okay with it are desperate or rude themselves which means neither are interesting.

HomoFuge · Answer

I do tease men as a form of flirting and the men tease me back. However, negging is different. I see negging as someone deliberately making malicious insults because the deluded pickup culture has brainwashed people into thinking that this actually works. What it really does is that it makes you come across as insensitive and emotionally unaware, which is a real turn-off for most people.

The majority of the men I have met like to have their masculinity acknowledged.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

It might attract beta men but i like soft sweet women so id be immediately turned off. Typically men only do this to women when they act like they are better than everyone else and kinda like a big headed asshole.

winterfox10 · Answer

I don't understand what you mean by negging; what kind of interaction is that?

As for teasing, emasculating; absolute turn-off. Disrespect is only sexy to men who don't have any self respect. I'm gonna be totally real with you, women have totally changed my perception about them in course of a single sentence by saying stuff like that.

blutwolfe · Answer

I don't like it, there's a difference in insults and then just being honest about something. Like I'll be brutally honest and it'll hurt, but that's just telling it how it is versus just negging or insulting. Like I wouldn't purposely insult someone nor would I liked to be

bklynbadboy1 · Answer

Yes it's happened to me but I'll flirt back just like you could peak my curiosity and get me interested I can do the same to you and another thing even if you had me wrapped around your finger I'd never let you know that

Raunch · Answer

Then you probably do go too far if they are saying that.

How do you feel about negging/ teasing as a flirting technique?

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