I invaded my boyfriends privacy, should I feel bad or leave him for what I found out?

[aprilshowers0210]

I hacked into my boyfriends Facebook and I found out that he was talking to other girls. I also found out that he hid his relationship status from everybody but me. I confronted him about it and he blew up, which he has a right to, but he completely avoided my side of the story. When I would bring the girls up he would say they were just friends and that I invaded his privacy. But you don't say that kind of stuff to friends. We are still together, but I worry that he will just continue talking to them. I'm basically on "probation" which he says that he wants to see if it will work but he has to trust me first which I have to earn back. I know it was wrong of me to hack into his profile but if I don't satisfy him then he needs to let me know so I don't waste my time anymore.

[RebelOfNowhere]

You need to sit down and tell him you need to talk and state beforehand that if either of you start getting angry or feel the other is angry you walk away for s bit to calm down. Then tell him how you feel and let him do the same, back and forth, until you work it out.

I'm more on your side here than his, I know kinda how you feel. Most of my bfs Facebook friends are girls and a lot of girls liked him before we started going out. He was inseveral relationships before me but they never lasted longer than a few weeks ( me and him are at six months :) ) but I was a little scared at first because of this. He gave me his iPod passcode so I could see his fb from the app and looking at his chat history revealed he was talking to his exes, and friends who I think used to like him. He said he missed hanging outwith them and stuff like that and it worried me but I told him how I felt right away, and it's mostly OK now..I accept that their relationship is friends only

I don't know what probation involves but you need to make him have a respectful talk with each other about this. If he isn't capable of doing that honestly I'd just leave. It will save you some worry and let you move on faster

[bunnahies]

gtfo don't feel bad lol

i do it too! I talk to him about it and he gets all mad too! then he tells me its nothing and they don't mean anything...UMM IF THEY DONT MEAN ANYTHING WHY ARE YOU STILL TALKING TO THEM OR ADDING RANDOM CHICKS? like seriously... don't bs like that! I didn't exactly hack into it though, he gave me his password lol but I got so mad to the point I deleted and blocked him on fb. also changed my password and hinted that I have no boyfriend. then deleted my sn on his buddylist and my number from his phone. I don't think I'm being a bitch, I'm just proving a point. if fb doesn't mean anything, then he shouldn't mind what I did ot if people believe what I said on fb. he told me he'd delete his fb... he didnt.

i think both of our boyfriend shouldve seen it coming. like really...dont do something and think no one would ever find out cause we will eventually. so you shouldn't be blamed for it. yes you invaded his privacy...but he was also hiding things from you! you guys hurt each other :/

well did you hack into for fun? or because you had a feeling something was going on?

[aprilshowers0210]

I had a feeling that something was going on. He gets mad that I don't open up to him, so I did and he didn't like what I said (he can't take constructive criticism) When we get into arguments he seeks the attention of other girls and I wanted to see how far he actually took things.

[bunnahies]

OMFGGG MY Boyfriend DOES THATT TOO! like wtf mann! I'm not accusing you of anything! I'm telling you how I feel! I hate it when they get mad for us being mad LOL it just doesn't make sense! but I guess it kinda does hurt to go to the opposite gender. I have a guy best friend too, its just him. I tell him everything and boyfriend gets jealous I guess? but he has to know that I had so much chances with the guy and I never took any! if he wanted them, he wouldve just stayed single and hung out with them.

[garretkane44]

I hate cheaters, my fiancee never gave me a reason to be suspicious until i found her and her colleague at a romantic restaurant. she told me it was work stuff but something wasn't right. i was worried until i was introduced to cyberhacktivist1 (at) gmail (dot) com who hacked her phone and text so i can find out the truth. cyberhacktivist1@gmail. com made it possible to track her movement and location. he hacked her facebook, aol email. now lets say i have no doubt her was cheating. Email him he can help.

[garretkane44]

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[wendyseth121]

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[walterjames230]

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[Anonymous]

I am in a similar situation ...but with a twist ...my boyfriend had given me his FB password (I dint ask for it) ..off late I could feel that we was avoiding me and kept telling me that he was busy and dint have time for me, he was behaving very distant ...so I created a fake id and added him ..he accepted the request and then had all the time in the world to chit chat with the fake girl (which was me) he obviously didn't know ... since he thought I will find out he changed his password without informing me...when I confronted him abt changing his password he gave me some **** and bull story...he still doesn't know he is chatting with me. Although he is chatting with me I still feel betrayed cause he is trying to flirt and has even hidden his relationship status and has also given away his contact number etc ...I can imagine what you must be going through .. I will tell him eventually and then break up with the cheat..

All the best ...dont waste your time on this rough he is not worth it ... no man is worth your tears they are precious ...

[digital_haze]

Well... Id say whatever you found out wasn't 100% concrete evidence he was cheating or you would have left already. Probably found some conversations that were borderline or a bit over the border to other girls.

Yeah, you should be upset, but you totally went about it the wrong way and you lost your high ground. Chalk this one up to experience and see where it goes. Find a better way to snoop.

But if I were you... Id say EXACTLY what you said here, to him...specifically "if I don't satisfy him then he needs to let me know so I don't waste my time anymore" That's a very powerful statement to a guy. It gets right to the core of things. You may get your answer when you do.

[planetearth]

Yeah you should just get out now. Don't look back. Don't apologize for what you did. As far as I see it, it's over already. By telling you you're on probation he's putting you on the back burner. Those other girls are not just going to go away. He may be meeting them now. Think about it, he hid his relationship status for this reason. Find someone else that actually wants you.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Has happened to me in a variety of forms too.

[Anonymous]

Don't tell me you fell for the okey doke? I'm guessing you didn't hack into his Facebook out of the blue right? You had some type of suspicion that led you to go to those extremes, right? There was obviously a reason you felt compelled to snoop, unless you just make a habit out of snooping for fun and only coincidentally found something incriminating this time.

Regardless of how you found out, you found out this guy is cheating on you. Of course he's gonna be mad you invaded his FB, but had you never done that you'd have never found proof he was cheating in the first place. The guy was already in the wrong and he's dishonest, do you really think he would automatically grow some integrity and admit he was wrong for cheating? Hell no. He did the classic thing which is to turn the situation around on you as if you were solely to blame. You weren't born yesterday and you know what time it is. So are you going to continue dating a guy you know is cheating on you, and put up with his bullsh*t ass "probation"? I mean you really let this dude turn the tables on you. HE had the audacity to put YOU on probation? Think about how ludicrous that is! I say you should just fire him because as long as you're with him you're gonna be wasting your time.

[planetearth]

Agreed. Just leave. You don't trust him. He's going to cheat.

[rachiee]

He completely turned this around and put the blame on you. You weren't right to snoop but what you found is way worse than what you did. He knows that he's wrong so he made you look to be the bad person and putting you on probation like you're a child is immature. He hid you from everyone which says that not only does he want to appear single but that he doesn't care enough about you to show you off and treat you the way you should be treated. You need to put your foot down and stop letting him walk all over you. Get a back bone and stick up for yourself. Let him know that you were wrong but that he had no right to talk to those girls or hide your relationship. I suggest you leave him. You deserve better than someone who treats you like a dog and puts you in time out when you did nothing as wrong as they did.

[MrWrong]

^ This.

[Anonymous]

Both of you are in the wrong in this situation. At this point, there's no point on arguing or debating about the details anymore between both of you.

Leaving the "he might have cheated" possibility out of the equation for the moment, if you aren't happy with him or you are being very insecure and really don't trust him, you leave. If you still like him, stay with him, apologize, let go of this and try to work this out. You shouldn't stay on in a relationship because you feel bad for what you done or you feel sorry for something.

The only one last jigsaw puzzle that needs fitting in before I can give a good/sound advice is "what exactly did he talk to the girls"? I'll be able to tell you whether it's a better idea to leave or to stay on from what he said and done.

Hope this helps.

[aprilshowers0210]

He basically tells them that he just had a rough breakup, then continues to flirt with them. Then proceeds to ask them to dinner or meet up and gets their number. I don't know where it goes from there. (He talks to other girls when we get in arguments rather than talking to me)

[Opinion Owner]

Do both of you have arguments very frequently? Regardless, he doesn't know how to handle a relationship properly. Chances are that leaving would impose less stress on both of you, since the relationship is bringing more unhappiness than happiness

[Anonymous]

i don't think you were wrong cause I would do the same thing. a lot of people will answer you by saying oh you violated his privacy, you have trust issues, you deserve to see waht you saw but please half the people saying that crap will do it if they could. seek and you shall find to learn what you want to know. don't feel bad, it's obivous he's doing something to make you feel insecure. that's my honest answer. tell me how you did it cause I want to hack my boyfriend's account too. I want to know what kind of conversations he's having in his inbox messaging.

[ericabadgerr]

If you know you not ready for a relationship/ marriage / commitment why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating spouse, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to RSN remoteserversnetwork@gmail. She understand me well and help me hack my spouse number to find out the truth. I just want to openly say thank you. Contact her today, she can help

[garretkane44]

I hate cheaters, my fiancee never gave me a reason to be suspicious until i found her and her colleague at a romantic restaurant. she told me it was work stuff but something wasn't right. i was worried until i was introduced to cyberhacktivist1 (at) gmail (dot) com who hacked her phone and text so i can find out the truth. cyberhacktivist1@gmail. com made it possible to track her movement and location. he hacked her facebook, aol email. now lets say i have no doubt her was cheating. Email him he can help.

[babygirltiffie]

i was gunna say don't confont him til you investigate a little more but what's done is done, so I think I would probably dump him or tell him it needs to stop or your done. or just do the something to make him jealou that he can see and make him think you don't know he knows or something lol, seems to p*ss guys off if they know your wanted by other guys and they want you more.

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[MrWrong]

He has a right to be angry, but you still have a right to act on what you found. That's a major d*** move on his part, hiding his relationship status and chatting with other girls.

[actricalian]

You invaded his privacy and he cheated on you. Sounds like you're about even.

Well, except for the fact that breaking into someone's online accounts is illegal in some jurisdictions. Hope you used a proxy ...

[NerdInDenial]

If he's putting you on probation, then he still needs you in his life. He maybe flirty with these other girls, but he's with you. Until, he actually physically contacts these girls, it's just his way of seeking attention.

[buttercup5]

You're wasting your time because you two obviously don't have trust.

[sinful1620]

It sounds like neither of you are ready for a relationship, or at least not ready for the one you're in right now.

[Allix93]

Dump his ass.