Why do some girls who have boyfriends flirt with others?

[Anonymous]

I dont get why any sane person would do that.

i could be misinterpreting stuff but there is a girl i barely know who has a boyfriend. She has asked me if i have a crush on her ( i do) and i didn't really know what to say, so i kept quiet.

the next day we we were talking again and she came really close to me and started touching my abdomen and looked at me.

i asked a friend of mine and he told me that she has a boyfriend and is hitting on me. Then he told me that she isn't “serious” about her boyfriend, that its just casual stuff.

before anyone says that flirting is normal to do while being in a relationship, it’s not. Flirting literally means showing sexual/romantic interest in someone, so its cheating if you do it while being in a relationship.

so now, why do people do this?

[mlvrjohnconnor]

A pretty girl tried to flirt with me in front of her boyfriend once. I ran away as fast as I could, everything about her screams trouble. I hope her boyfriend ran away as well, but he seems more mad at me than her, it tells me he has no self respect and he considers getting a pretty girl would be the highest achievement he will ever have in his life.

Some people (boys and girls) flirt/hit on others, it sends a subtle message to their SO that they are wanted on the market and they will leave with a better option if their SO do not make more effort. It is quite manipulative and unhealthy. These crazy people believe they are winning either way: either their SO cherish them more or they get a new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Some people are insane, it is the way it is. We can’t change who they are, we can only decide if we can take it or leave it.

[Asker]

Would you say touching my abdomen like that was flirting?

[inhua]

it's designed to be a shit test for her boyfriend which is disrespectful to him and has no win situation for the boyfriend. doesn't matter what excuses she comes up with.

if he stays calm while she flirts with someone else, he will be seen as uncaring and therefore not deserving of her.

if he reacts positively, he is basically giving her a free pass to go ahead and cheat on him because he's clearly happy for her to do it.

if he reacts negatively, he is seen as jealous and insecure and therefore she shouldn't be with him because of his "insecurity".

either way, girlfriends who are truly attracted to their boyfriends don't do this shit. note I said attracted to and didn't say love because loving someone and being in love are two different things.

[Asker]

She did that stuff to me while the boyfriend was not there.

[inhua]

that's a not good sign for him either. his girlfriend doing things behind his back.

[NotTacocaT6969]

Flirting is not cheating.


But flirting while in a relationship is a major sign that the person is not getting what they need from their relationship and is beginning to consider other options.

[Asker]

But why not break up first?

[NotTacocaT6969]

Only she can answer that.

Personally, I’ve had 2 boyfriends straight up tell me they’ll commit suicide if I break up with them.

[Asker]

Hmm yea that happens.

But why flirt with me? It’s weird

[ProVox]

Either for the narcissistic attention or they're not getting that thrill from their own relationship.

[Asker]

So what is my role in all of that?

[Vikkrram]

She is touching you , so it's not flirting

[Asker]

What is it then?