I have a thing for my trainer and need some advice…?

[painfullycurious]

I’m not really sure what to do. I’ve been going to this guy for a while…probably about 6/7/8 months and he’s always been super friendly and nice. Makes me laugh. Though not my usual type. I don't know if I’ve just been single too long or what but I don’t want to fall in that trap where someone is just nice but it’s being taken as flirting. I’ve been on both sides of that and it’s never fun. The problem is that some of the stuff he says feels that way. I know I can’t do anything since. Ya know. I’m paying him to train me and all. And I’ve been through 3 trainers (for the record: guys and girls for longer than this guy and never felt this way for them.) in 5 years so I really don’t want to switch again and our sessions are the highlight of my week. I have no issue with flirting a little. But I’d almost call him a friend at this point and now I’m worried that a little flirting is turning into feelings on my end. I don’t want to put him in a bad spot and I don’t want to be embarrassed if he finds out but I don’t know how long I can keep it a secret since I’ve always been a very expressive person. What should I do?

[ShiftingMonke]

Were I in your position, I would try to nip this in the bud. If he truly is a good trainer, I'd let him fulfill that role; but it's not wise- like you said- to conflate professionalism with interest. Especially if the flirting is only coming from you. And since your friendship is transactional, it's all the more reason to cut off emotional connection with him. How to do so is a much harder issue, because you said you have a hard time hiding it. You may end up having to switch trainers after all, I suppose.

[dynamicyandere]

I’ve heard veteran personal trainers talk about this. It’s best to keep things professional. It’s better in the long run. Plus, it can damage his career if you pursue a relationship while he’s still your trainer. Either keep it professional or hire a different personal trainer before you start any sort of dating relationship.

[spartan55]

You know trainers are amongst the biggest manwhores of all, along with bartenders and firemen.

[painfullycurious]

Do you think I should sever the friendship aspect too? If he asked why I’m not acting like usual I could blame it on being tired from my last semester

[spartan55]

Okay that was a tangent. What do you mean, the friendship aspect?

[painfullycurious]

We don’t just stand there when im working out. We talk the entire time. About a lot. Fun things, serious things, relationships. Turns out his dad is from my mom’s hometown and went to her school while she was there and works with my dad. There’s friendly teasing from both of us. And like I said. At this point I’d consider him a friend. Do you think I should start trying to see him as a trainer ONLY? Stop talking about our lives, cut out the joking and deep conversations and stuff?

[spartan55]

Yeah, keep it business. He probably has a girlfriend anyway. Or several.

[painfullycurious]

Thatttts the other thing. His girlfriend broke up with him last week. And I feel really super bad for feeling hopeful about it.

[spartan55]

Omg... I know you won't keep it strictly business...😂

[painfullycurious]

That’s why I’m here. I need someone to set me straight. No sugarcoating.

[spartan55]

I think you should get a new trainer, but you said that's not an option. Do you NEED a trainer?

[painfullycurious]

Well the thing is I have no idea what I’m doing and I’ll never go without someone to hold me accountable. So I’ll never go to the gym without a trainer. But there is a pole class the next city over I’ve been thinking of going to for fun and exercise instead

[spartan55]

Training isn't rocket science, you can find all the info you need on YouTube... pole dancing eh? That's definitely a marketable skill.

[painfullycurious]

I just think it would help me be more confidence. That and it looks really fun. And those girls have to be really strong. But I’m not made of money so until now it’s been a choice between the Easy to get to training or the further away more fun dancing

[spartan55]

Ya training be expensive.

[painfullycurious]

So is the dancing. Cause I’ll have to drive an hour and a half both ways.

[spartan55]

Damn, "next city over" is 90 minutes away?

[painfullycurious]

Unfortunately. Hence why I didn’t switch over sooner.

[spartan55]

So do strippers take that for continuing Ed? 😂

[painfullycurious]

I don't know. But hey if this college thing doesn’t work out it make be a good life skill? 😅

[spartan55]

Absolutely 😁

[painfullycurious]

So. Ditch the trainer and start stripping. Thank you wise stranger on the internet! 🙏🏼😬

[spartan55]

I'm kidding about the stripping...

[Anonymous]

Trainers get hit on all the time so he might enjoy if you suck his cock but probably not much relationship potential there.

[nobodyknowswho]

Do some warm-ups around him that also simulate sex acts. You probably know what I mean and that will get his attention.