Just got rejected. She ignores me. Now what?

[Anonymous]

I just got a rejection from a girl I really like. She's special to me

and I am not thinking of moving to other girls just yet.

I am cool with rejection but I notice that she is trying to ignore me, is feeling really nervous around me ( can't help it, we sit next to each other in class), and is trying hard to flirt with other guys right in front of my face ( the guys are my good friends somemore).

So now what should I do? Be friendly? Start again and try to flirt with her? Ignore her? Avoid her? Flirt with other girls? Act like I don't care?

[udolipixie]

If you two were friends:

She's ignoring because your interest made it awkward .

She handled your feelings maturely by rejecting you.

She should have handled ending the friendship by telling you our friendship is over instead of just ignoring you.

Her behavior is just like when guys realize that they're just friends and instead of not being friends and ending the friendship they become crappy friends- ignoring her calls, acting busy, not talking about problems.

At least she's ignoring you out of awkwardness instead of continuing to be friends & being sh*tty because she didn't get what she wanted like guys do.

If you two aren't friends:

She's ignoring you because by rejecting you she ended things.

It's like ignoring that guy you know from school/work who asked you out you have no obligation to be social or friendly to him. Besides doing so may soon put you at fault for giving mixed signals, putting him in the friend zone, or rising his hopes.

[kambo_trick3y]

That's the thing though, a girl or a guy should not have to pay for the reprecussions of admitting how they feel about a person they admire. You SEE something special in the person, and if the person you like is even half way decent they should take it maturely and gracefully, rejection or not, boy or girl, it doesn't matter. If It's awkward for them I can understand, but talk about it like an adult and don't bury your head in the sand like a child.

[udolipixie]

How is it acting like a child to no longer be involved with a person who wants something that she doesn't want?

What repercussions? She's just ignoring him. She'sv not teasing, making fun, or manipulating him.

She's just ending contact.

Ignoring him was immature she should have just said 'I won't have further contact with you' after rejecting him.

[Asker]

You still haven't answered my question though. What should I do from now on? Honestly I don't plan to second-guest why she did all those things. She might be mature or immature I don't really mind. I just want to know how to act properly.

[udolipixie]

I didn't answer the end of how should I act because it's quite clear you want to know which way to act to get something you want- friendship, her jealousy, her interest.

She rejected you and wants no contact with you.

You act the same way if someone declines a request you accept it .

You act the same way if someone wants no contact you leave them alone.

So just be yourself and have no contact with her outside of class.

[kambo_trick3y]

She's ending contact with him, HE is paying the price for owning up and telling her how he feels. Putting your heart out on the line for someone isn't easy, and I speak as both the person who has received and given romantic advances. If you truly respected your friend BEFORE they told you how they feel, and they were honest with you, don't crush their heart, or their friendship for that matter. Take it like an adult, decline, and still stay friends. It IS possible, but it's her choice.

[udolipixie]

How is ending contact a price to pay?

He got rejected and based on his feelings for her she doesn't want to be around him.

That's not some tragic consequence. A price to pay for feelings would be if he never told her & stuck around suffering in silence. Or if she used his feelings.

I think you believe the only adult choice is to stay friends. Well some don't want to stay friends when that person doesn't view you as a friend. Some want friends who just want to be friends.

[kambo_trick3y]

That's not up to you to say that losing her is not a tragic consequence or not, it's up to him. He values her and wants to stay her friend, losing her is very important to him obviously. Also, it's thinking like that, that you can only stay friends if there is no attraction, is what CAUSES your friends to be afraid to tell you their feelings.

[udolipixie]

"Also, it's thinking like that, that you can only stay friends if there is no attraction, is what CAUSES your friends to be afraid to tell you their feelings."

True but why should anyone have to change hat something means to them because it may affect someone badly.

So girls shouldn't have the decision as to what friendship means to them because it benefits men so they don't have to fear telling her his feelings?

[udolipixie]

I guess guys shouldn't think I want a faithful girlfriend and should not say no cheating because it can cause their girlfriend who cheated on him to fear them breaking up.

People have different opinions- some don't mind cheating, some don't mind friends being attracted to them- but to have them change how they define something to suit someone else's needs is quite unfair

[udolipixie]

"a girl or a guy should not have to pay for the reprecussions of admitting how they feel about a person they admire"

His price was losing her.

So apparently you want the person you got the confession to act in a way that suits the person who confessed.

She should have been his friend no matter what her own definition of friendship is because it suits him.

[udolipixie]

Actions have reactions. Some you like some you don't.It's unfair & selfish to want someone to act a certain way despite what they want because it benefits you.

Losing her was a reaction. To you it's a price to me it's not. To both of us it's still a reaction to his action.

As a reaction he shouldn't expect it to go his way.

[kambo_trick3y]

Look, everyone can have their own opinion on something, but not everyone can see multiple sides of things. I don't know this girl, but I'm wondering if she knows what it's like to muster up the courage to tell the guy of HER dreams how she really feels, and (if she's strong enough to take rejection), not even have the chance to ever even TALK with him again. It's really cruel.

[kambo_trick3y]

Look, I'll just leave it at this, they WERE friends. There was a compatibility there and they got along well. That's good enough. If a person was never mean to you, then you shouldn't break being friends with them. But I'm just talking in a friendlier world, where people learn how to put themselves in other people's shoes, which people can't do. After I rejected someone, and then WAS rejected, that's when I realized this. Sorry if I intruded.

[udolipixie]

"I don't know this girl, but I'm wondering if she knows what it's like to muster up the courage to tell the guy of HER dreams how she really feels, and (if she's strong enough to take rejection), not even have the chance to ever even TALK with him again. It's really cruel."

Seems like you can't see the other side either.

So if she doesn't do what suits him she's cruel.

She may know or not but taken it into consideration but that doesn't change the fact what she defines a friend.

[udolipixie]

Look, I'll just leave it at this, they WERE friends. There was a compatibility there and they got along well. That's good enough.

Do you know him?

He never stated they were friends or they had good compatibility.

Plus just because to him they had compatibility & got along is good enough to want to date her doesn't mean it's good enough for her.

[udolipixie]

Plus just because to him they had compatibility & got along is good enough to want to date her doesn't mean it's good enough for her. Compatibility & getting along is what's required of a friend for some girls that isn't good enough to date someone they may also need to find him physically and sexually attractive.

You said you don't know this girl but you assume to know that the asker was compatible & she got along with him well enough ti decide that's good enough for her.

[udolipixie]

". If a person was never mean to you, then you shouldn't break being friends with them. "

No that's to you.

Some people have a different definition of friendship. Like friends are people I hang out with, share the same hobbies with, don't share the same hobbies.or people not attracted to me.

You can stop being friends with someone for whatever reason you want to. You're not obligated to be stuck in any relationship just because he/she was never mean to you.

[udolipixie]

You can stop being friends if your friend started doing drugs & you don't want a friend who does that.

You can stop being friends if you don't feel the same for the person anymore aka grown apart.

[udolipixie]

But I'm just talking in a friendlier world, where people learn how to put themselves in other people's shoes, which people can't do. After I rejected someone, and then WAS rejected, that's when I realized this. Sorry if I intruded."

No you're talking about a world where people change whatever they want to suit you.

Because you certainly haven't put your shoes in anyone else's place.

Especially by not admitting to knowing her but assumming to know what should be good enough for her.

[purpleprincess]

Was she actually flirting with your friend or just being friendly- define flirting, was she behaving differently in any way towards him than she does you?

What have you done to indicate to her that you like her? Could she just think your not interested in her so has moved on, or is she trying to make you admit how you feel by making you jealous?

Or it's possible she has no interest in you at all and you misread her signals.

Basically you need to talk to her directly and gauge how she reacts to you when you chat with her. Just be friendly, don't ignore her- that is a clear indication of disinterest on your part and you will blow any chance you have with her if you do that.

[Asker]

Flirting as being overly friendly? More so than normal. And definitely more so than me (heck, she doesn't say hi to me now)

I told her face to face that I like her. She was surprise and then said no

So what I should do is don't ignore her, stay friendly no flirting?

[purpleprincess]

Yeah I'd say so, play it cool- be nice, say hi when she's around you and just hang back a little. Don't purposefully flirt with her and see how she reacts- if she does actually like you she'll make an affort to keep conversations going or do the whole eye flirting thing that women do. If you've told her outright you like her and she has rejected you then if she changes her mind she has to be the one to re-engage your interest. Don't chase her, you'll look like a spanner in front of your mates.

[desidoll]

Why don't you try talk to her about this...try to be frank with her even though some truth might hurt you but at least you get to know why she did tht to u.To be honest as a girl I think she tried to show tht she was not interested with you because you said she tried to flirt with another guy which is one of your best friend(infront of u).Tht was also another way of her to show tht she regards you only as a friend not more than tht.Some girls don't dare to tell directly so they might use certain ways to show wht is their feeling towards guys.

[kambo_trick3y]

Listen man, in a perfect world I would tell you to ignore her, because she doesn't respect you enough nor is mature enough to handle your feelings and keep the friendship at an even and still respectable level. But the truth is you need to talk to her, like, really talk to her and tell her what it is that matters, and that it's not about being rejected, it's about losing a friend. Don't jump to assumptions but let her know that she doesn't need to be nervous around you and that she doesn't need to (according to you) try so hard to hit on guys just to distance herself. Don't beat around the bush, playing mind games only leads to more confusion and it's the very DEFINITION of lowly high school drama.

[Wassup]

She doesn't know any other way to let you down softly. She's not trying to be a bitch but it certainly seems like she is one. I think you should ignore her too. If she's not mature enough to understand your feelings and keep a friendly relationship with you she isn't worth your time. Move on

[huntusa]

Dude once you get rejected then don't try to act like you don't have self respect and you don't have any other option.As a Man we already look around for different girls so be a Man and look around for other girls.

Remember nice guy sh*t don't work.Be an a**hole and girls will come to you after that.

[Anonymous]

don't act, just don't care. she doesn't want to be with you and probably ignoring you cause it's awkward now

[Lolaa]

honestly you should move on...there is probably other girls that will like and respect you in the long run. keep your head held up high!

[Asker]

So don't care means I don't care about her ignoring me or don't care about her at all?

[Lolaa]

honestly you should move on...there is probably other girls that will like and respect you in the long run. keep your head held up high!

[moviedude714]

move on