When I get drunk I can't help but flirt with guys even when my partner is next to me. Am I in the wrong?

Question

On a few occasions I've been with my partner and we have been out and let say I'm chatting with his mate and he'll talk to me later and be like can you stop flirting with my mate right in front of me? For me I'm just being really nice and I don't see it as flirting. Not long ago we hung out with his best friend and partner we all got pretty drunk and went to town. Went back to the friends house and me and his mate were chatting about stuff and I didn't even realize that his friend had his hand on my lap. I go outside for a smoke with partner who is completely disgusted with me. I'm feeling really embarrassed and ashamed because I didn't mean to give anybody any signals I was just being me and nice. I don't know what to do I don't know how to reassure my partner anymore 😕

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well you know it happens when you start drinking, so maybe stop drinking. I’d feel the same if my bro hand his hand on my girls lap. As for talking more to his friend, I don’t really see that as flirting. Because as a man I tend to talk to women, who yes there are others who I get along really well. We laugh, talk more often than I do w other females, but that’s cause they’re easy to get along w. Doesn’t always mean I’m flirting. A lot of women see it that way if their man is laughing it up w some girl, they feel threatened. But maybe he was flirting w you, maybe you were just being nice.

Billlewis · Accepted Answer

A little bit of flirting never hurt anyone; I hope you continue to do exactly what you're doing.

Reem12345reem · Accepted Answer

explain it to him and tell him exactly what u felt , ten tell him that you'll stop drinking

Spongebobssocks · Accepted Answer

Yes your boyfriend deserves better you should leave him

Pinay_ako · Answer

Yes, learn to control yourself with your drinking or flirting with others especially in the presence of your partner. See how you feel if your partner does this to you. There’s your answer

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

How you females conflate "nice" for being open to sexy time in action confuses me. I've dealt with dealing with that before and it took some time, but as I predicted... she ended up cheating. Yes, you are in the wrong.

It always plays out the same. You'll 'take it' or 'let it' keep going further and further and then it's just going to happen. The boyfriend isn't going to be there one day and it will be out of any of his control.

Think about this... now his mates are able to walk around saying his girl would totally fuck them if he wasn't around. That looks like shit on him and makes you look like shit at the same time. Low opinions of people are done behind a smile... I bet you have all the guys smiling at you... right? It's one thing to just shit all over yourself, but you're shitting on your own dude at the same time. Making him look like a cuck and I'm guessing he doesn't appreciate that very much.

Think about it... hand on your lap and you don't even realize it. That's like literally like a girl that realizes she's getting fingered and asks "what are you doing?" like she doesn't even realize how she got there. Like I said... you'll let it happen. You're comfortable with certain behaviors because for you, it has equaled favorable outcomes or at least what you view as favorable. Well, those favorable outcomes are not exactly all that great when you're cucking a guy to get it done.

And watch... your dude is going to become anti-social over time by trying to be with you. He knows what's going to happen and will probably start to avoid dude friends in general. You probably don't even realize it but you'll alienate him from his own social structure. Get yourself in check.

Anonymous · Answer

Wow lol. Why the f-k would you drink when you’re with your partner? 😂😂If you know you’re gonna act stupid, then completely avoid drinking.  And you’re probably flirting with the other dude, because subconsciously you’re not actually, sexually attracted to your partner. The other dude is obviously the one who’s impressing you. It’s why subconsciously you can’t help but naturally flirt with him. Even in the presence of your partner. There’s no fear of loosing him. Cause, if there was actually fear of loosing your man, you wouldn’t dare. Not even if drunk.  If I were your man. I wouldn’t even bother to b-ch about it. I’d just sit next to another female and start flirting with her. 🖕 I’m not about to be disrespected like that.

BigWhiteWolf87 · Answer

You're NOT being nice, you like the attention. The booze is merely revealing your true self - you've no respect for yourself or your partner & desperately want men's attention.

Do yourself a favour. Break up with your boyfriend. He certainly deserves better.

And go to a rehab. Get some self control & self respect. The fact that you've a brainless about your behavior around men when you're drunk is just a recipe for disaster.

Kira22 · Answer

next time someone touches you without your consent act and do something how are you allowing that? one of my bf’s best friend did that once and i got mad didn’t defend myself on the spot and regretted it. I immediately told my boyfriend and how uncomfortable i was and he agreed and talked to him. Next time won’t be silent and that guy learned his lesson and boundaries he only greets me with a 👋. Don’t be so overly flirty you wouldn’t like it if he did that to you, once a girl tried to flirt with my then boyfriend and i defended in a way my territory (meaning that i went there interrupted them she was all over him and drunk so i was like not worth making a scene). It’s never cool especially when people know you have a relationship and your boyfriend is there, surely didn't like when a girl did that to my boyfriend :/

BlackBeauty90 · Answer

Do your boyfriend a favor and get lost.

The fact that you try to excuse your behavior being very nice means that you really don't care for or respect your partner. It means that you like the attention these other men are giving you and well it is what is

Meropatrick · Answer

Is This even an issue? either drink at home with you and ur partner alone. Or dont drink when you are at a party. I dont know how a guys hand will end up in your lap without u knowing. I know u girls are very scheming and u dont do Something without planning for it. And u do such things to make others jealous

magiusX26 · Answer

simply put. yes you are in the wrong for that. it is disrespectful. it also shows you are highly addicted to the thrill of flirty attention which in turn gives you a higher risk assessment as a probable cheater. it also makes and proclimation of loyalty, fidelity, faithfullness, love, or devotion disenginuous. starter advice for this is to. cut back or stop entirely from drinking alcohol.

Inbox · Answer

If you act like a cheater, people will treat you like a cheater. If you act dumb, people will treat you like you’re dumb. If you act like an ape, such as @chefpapichulo , you’ll be treated as an ape LOL

Miristheiss · Answer

You are just not girlfriend material. If this is how you are he should leave you. Girls in relationships who are still getting "drunk"... huge red flag that she is of low character.

madhatters4 · Answer

yes you are in the wrong. it sounds to me like you need to re-think your drinking. when your drinking leads to bad decisions that the sign of a problem. not suggesting you're an alcoholic but clearly drinking leads to bad decision making

John_Doesnt · Answer

Yes you are in the wrong. If you know your behavior is bad and uncontrolable when drunk then don't get drunk. People who can't hold their booze shouldn't be drinking.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Uhm yeah. He should break up with you.

Its called being an adult and having self control, and also just you know having basic human decency and respect for other people.

@KrakenAttackin

You believe this shit?

Surely · Answer

Which do you like more. Getting drunk or your boyfriend.  It is a slap in your boyfriend’s face when you get so friendly with other guys in front of him or even without him!

BigDog1989 · Answer

It means you're probably not getting ennough attention from him, and are going about it in the wrong way My parents don't flirt, with others. They've been together 38 years, happily

msc545 · Answer

Maybe you should stop getting drunk. I wouldn't tolerate that and most guys I know wouldn't tolerate it. You'd only have to do it once for me to leave you.

najekim · Answer

Not really, but it is controllable. Try having two drinks. Then the next two would be water then a soda and then another water before your third drink.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Change your behavior. You're not going to reassure him with words then continue to act as you have. It''s shocking he's kept you around this long, but one day he may grow self-respect.

jahaims · Answer

Obviously you are wrong. If you want to flirt with everyone while drunk you aren't in love with him and you have low self worth.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes, because you know what happens and you do it anyway.

DextroShade · Answer

Not only are you disrespecting him you are embarrassing him. I recommend you don't drink.

Anonymous · Answer

Not necessarily, But you have to understand that some of those Guys would want to Fuck you and all your doing is giving them False Hope.

riverrat3 · Answer

life is far too short to be taken too seriously, have fun

_SillyShoes_ · Answer

Stop drinking?

Wise4myage · Answer

That's not cool and you should stop it.

robocop666 · Answer

Then don't get drunk. I don't drink.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, you are in the wrong. It's cheating

Kacka · Answer

its bad

normandi · Answer

Keep it up

Anonymous · Answer

You're embarrassing

When I get drunk I can't help but flirt with guys even when my partner is next to me. Am I in the wrong?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

When I get drunk I can't help but flirt with guys even when my partner is next to me. Am I in the wrong?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.