I love this question because it has come up with me in every relationship of mine. First, if he really is interested in sleeping with other girls you may have an issue, but he may have also have meant that he thinks about what it would be like, a big difference. That said, let me answer for myself and not him
All of my girlfriends have been sexy and attractive but I still love to look at other girls. Seeing attractive women dressing sexy is a huge turn on for me. I love going out and seeing women in skirts and heels, etc... More often than not, being in public around other sexy people leads to great sex between me and my woman. Me looking at other women does not mean I want to sleep with them. It may cross my mind what it might be like but I would not act on that. I would also like to note that I do not stare or make it overly obvious I am noticing other women.
With that said, you need to be open with your boyfriend about your feelings and thoughts on this and ask for his, which it appears you have. I can not speak for your situation, but if your in a relationship with a nice guy that you trust and hasn't strayed in the past, then give him the benefit of the doubt. Talk with him openly so you understand each other and why you do what you do.
For most women, when a guy even notices another womans hair color, they may get annoyed. You shouldn't and you should consider the alternatives. For one, he could be watching porn instead. On the flipside, you could take this as a positive. Take note when he says someone is hot and maybe surprise him with a similar outfit later. Yes, outfit, it is often her dress and the way she wears it rather then her, that we notice.
If you can, accept it and use it to your benefit, I guarantee that your relationship and sex life will be much better if you just go with it. BTW...If you know what he is looking at, doesn't that mean your noticing the same thing??
Sex is not love. Simple. Every girl that thinks it is lives in a fantasy world. Loving someone does not prevent a person from being attracted to other people -- though I suppose that may not be entirely true when you consider the decline in sex that most couples experience once they're married.
Surely you've heard of an open relationship? Swingers? Polygamy? We have the current mainstream religions to blame for their fall from common practice, although they're seeing a resurgence. People often date several people at once before they pick just one person. Exclusivity is no longer assumed, it's earned.
I do think that he should have kept his comments to himself, though. You're obviously not swingers, there was no reason for him to say anything. But just remember, looking is quite different from touching; just because he finds them attractive doesn't mean he's going to rush off to bed them. He has an emotional AND physical connection with you, and only a physical attraction to them.
Lastly, if you don't want to know, don't ask.
First of all, some of you girls have some serious growing-up to do. Do you really find it mature to try to hurt someone you love that you know loves you by flirting with other guys to get back at him? He did nothing wrong. NOTHING. The only thing he did wrong was being too honest with you.man, that must suck having an honest guy like that. Sweetie, listen.all women have the fantasy of a prince sweeping them off their feet and only wanting to be with them and only them til death do you part. It's time to grow-up and realize that it's just a FANTASY. All men.even the good ones.wonder "what if" at times. It doesn't mean he will love you any less and that random girl at the bar anymore. All women want their man to look at them like they are the only woman in the room. And sure.at one point in time he probably did. Just like you never looked at other guys at the beginning of your relationship. The reason being.the relationship was still new and exciting.and he was concentrating on the "what if's" with you. Now, he may look.You're a liar if you say you don't. At the end of the day who does he want to go home with? YOU! You're acting like he's already cheated on you with his mind. Unless that looking turns into touching.then you have nothing to worry about. There is always going to be a woman that is hotter than you in the world even if you are a Playboy Playmate. Get over it, and start becoming more comfortable with yourself. I've seen ok looking girls end up with the hottest guys. Why? When it all comes down to it, men don't marry the fantasy in their mind. They marry the person with a personality. She may be hot, but I'm sure she could never make him laugh the way you do.
I dunno--some of the guys answers seem to indicate there is something wrong with you for being bothered and wanting to be respected--Girl, don't put up with those excuses. I have been married to a wonderful man for years and he looks yes, but the man actually went several years without sex prior to us meeting up so he could find one woman he wanted to be with in that way! All his friends thought he was vying for priesthood! In actuality, he was just a good guy who wanted something meaningful in his life.
I won the lottery with this man.
Guys who think every chick should be down with a threesome or should feel okay about the possibility of being cheated are immature and have no idea of what real love is.
Advice--leave him and find a "good man" with strong moral character who will love you and respect and care about how you feel.
Well guys separate sex and love. They're different from us. They can bang a girl all month and not care about her or have feelings for her. That doesn't mean he won't care about another girl.
But he is really wrong for saying that too you. all men may fantasize but there is no excuse for cheating. And there is no excuse for telling you that either. If he makes those comments when you're around, what do you think he's doing when you're not there? If he had any respect for you & the relationship he would have told you a necessary little white lie and said NO.
I think you should be out.
He's an idiot for telling you, that's for sure. But I'm not sure I would dump him. Every person on the planet sees someone they would love to sleep with- whether he acts on that or not is a different story. Think about it- there are probably men out there that you would sleep with if you had the chance (Brad Pit maybe??). That doesn't make someone a bad person- it's actually healthy to know what you want! But it's one of those things that couples can keep a secret.
If he acts on it and cheats, though, dump his ass.
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Beacuse, he is human! Sounds like he was being very honest with you, because I know the pretend answer is " you are the only one I think about, honey." It may be bothersome to you, but men will always fantasize about other women, always. He will always look at other girls, its natural and normal. What does it matter if you are the only one taking him home at night. I dated a stripper once, and no they are not all whores. She had to deal with all these guys staring at her all night long, but so did I. It was very hard for me at first, but then she saw me looking at one of the other dancers, she walked over to me and said "you thinking about f--king her?" I said " yeah, kind of..." Then she leaned in and said " you know I love you, right?" and I said "and I love you." Then she kissed me on the cheek and went back to her job. I guess in her line of work, she got to understand men a little better. Why do you think guys play so many video games? We want our fantasy life! hehe, plain and simple. Its healthy and normal, don't worry about it. You guys are fine. Oh yeah, you don't have to feel bad if you have a fantasy or two of your own. So don't feel bad about that either!
Beauty is beauty and men love beautiful young women however when you are in a relationship people some more than others feel it a moral duty to be loyal and satisfied with what they have or at least communicate honestly to another person if they are not satisfied it is hard work to form a relationship of course depending on who you are but if it is easier for him he may leave you if not he won't plus the the opportunity has to be present and there are so many variables like personality someone may be attractive to you but there personality may be completely irritating or somehow incongruent with yours so if the opportunity showed itself depending on the stage of the relationship a guy would certainly leave you for another but it just depends on how much he loves you his future ambitions and opportunity having said all this girls would do the same thing why because nobody wants to be less happier than what they could be in reality it is a chance, a gamble what will make him happier keeping you or going for another and possibly failing. to not waste peoples time people should date a minimum of six months and after six months decide if they want to be married.
First of all you think we have to be in love with a girl we want to sleep with. Totally wrong. There's no emotional attachment to sex if we don't want it there.
Secondly we're not going to like you any less because we saw a hot girl at the mall the other day. We look at girls because guys love to look at beautiful girls, not because we don't love you.
A guy can actually screw another girl while staying in love. We can totally use girls for sex and not feel a single emotion about it. It's like in that movie rules of attraction when he loves that girl to death but still does her roommate.
We can also jack off to some fantasy at night but still be awesomely in love with you, and love to do you. We jack off to perfection but we won't expect it from a girlfriend.
Pshh! That would completely piss me off in my opinion and I would break up with him. I don't mind if my fiance looks at other girls ( but he doesn't do it in front of me and it makes me feel good knowing he has respect for me ) But your boyfriend loves you and wants to sleep with other girls? Noooo. You need to talk to him about this and tell him how you feel. Maybe he's just saying that? Or maybe he really wants to. Point being.. you need a guy who RESPECTS you and loves you and enjoys looking at and having sex with you, not other woman. Don't let a loser like him EVER break your heart.
Well I have this problem too. I was really offended when my boyfriend told me he wanted to have a threesome, for exactly this reason. But then I realized that guys separate sex from relationships. I know it's hard to fathom and I have a hard time wrapping my mind around it myself, but it's just how they do things. I guess my boyfriend finds other girls attractive but only wants to BE with me. I hope at least, haha.
Hey I'm 18 yrz old I know your probably thinking WHAT IS A YOUNG GURL GIVING ME ADVICE? right? well I've been in you shoez before! what you should do is play along with what he does! GUYZ HATE THAT! everything that he does to you... you do it back to him! so whenever you guys are together look at other guys also! you gonna see how much he'll change wiith you! he's gonna realize that what he does to you is really messed up! and if he keeps on doing it then LEAVE HIM! cause he'z making you seem really low!
Omg dump his ass. Please , save yourself. I was in the exact same thing and then I came home to mr leather pants and the fishnet whore in my living room. and the chick above me is totally right, DO IT BACK TO HIM SEE HOW THE F** LIKES IT
Well... to tell the truth, all guys think about this all the time and some guy can't help being perverts.
It's like something that happens without the guy even realizing it.
But if he does truly love you then you may need to win him over some more.
I disagree with them because two wrongs don't make it right. If you really respect yourself as a women you wouldn't take no body as dumb ass that..you should dump him now before it's too late.
Confront him say "hey babe I know you flirt with other girls and I was wondering would you want one of them instead of me?" My boyfriend flirted with my best friend and then denied it and I have no clue what to do because I may love him he messaged her and said "whatup cuttie" what do I do
First of all it's ONE thing for him to maybe look or glance at another women . but for him to actually SAY comment about them ! OH HAIL NO! you should NOT be putting up with this!
That's not real love, my dear. He owes you a great big apology for doing that especially with you right there. You sure he's not joking around? If he isn't, he may not be one to trust.
okayy, hunny, when this happens its a hint that he kinda wants to be with other people. talk to him about it, like in detail. otherwise you wil just be wondering if he wants to be with u. maybe he feels that he is stil young and wants to experience things that maybe you can't do with him. so just talk to him :) but don't let other people decide ur life for u.
He doesn't love you. Some guys are not capable of love.
I think he was just kidding around. But if his "thoughts" ever turn into actions, yeah, then you've got trouble.
IN my opinion a man can feel this way but if he really loves you he will strongly desire only to be with you. because hurting you should hurt him.
Simply do the same. When you guys are at the mall be like wow that guy is so muscular and cute! He probablly had a girl friend as fine as he is. Or when driving in the car check out some guy passing you a motorcycle and just stare away
To his credit he was being honest. And if it bothers you and you need things clarified ask him. but if it still bothers you move on.
.-Oh my god... Girl you are getting played... Like the new Grand Theft Auto...
look he cares about you he loves you . he's being honest with you at least he is not lieing to u...mayb those girls he is looking at are young and mayb they got something that got his interest...but its normal
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