Boyfriend wets the bed?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating an amazing guy for the past 9 months. We make each other happy and we have a really great relationship. About two months ago, we were up at my cottage and he drank so much that he was sick. He passed out and wet the bed. He assured me that this hadn't happened in a long time (he was a bed wetter as a child) and that it only ever happens about once a year on average.

Last night he was sleeping over and it happened again. This time we were in the same bed. He got out of bed to get changed.. and when I asked why, he said he was cold. When I was falling back to sleep, I noticed my comforter was wet and I asked him why, and he admitted that he had wet the bed. I was extremely frustrated. First of all, it makes me uncomfortable to know my 21 year old boyfriend wets the bed.. but what's worse is he wasn't even going to clean up and was just going to let me sleep in a wet bed and pretend like nothing happened.. he also admitted that he lied about the frequency and he actually wets the bed about twice a month on average.

Anyway, now its obvious that I am going to have to deal with this issue if I want to stay with him. I tend to freak out when he wets the bed.. it was a total shock to learn this after 9 months.. and it just makes me feel really uncomfortable and turned off. I want to know how I can be more accepting of his bedwetting issue. I don't want to make him feel worse than he already does.. but I have no idea how to handle it when it happens. I want to help him with this issue.. but first I need to know how to handle it in a clam manner.. so any serious advice would be appreciated.

Oh and he has already seen a doctor about it, and everything checks out as fine.

[hanbanan]

That's a really hard one. I honestly don't know how I would react. I think if you really care about someone it's easier to ignore bad habits, but this one is hard because it affects you. It's not a habit that only affects him, because if you are in bed with him when it happens, that's just messy and gross.

Be supportive of him, and let him know that it doesn't make you care about him any less. But that being said, he needs to put in some effort to make it easier for you. Let him know that it's unacceptable to brush it off like it's nothing. If he wets the bed with you in it, he needs to wake you up and tell you - I'd be way grossed out to wake up in the middle of the night to a wet bed, and it sounds like he would've just let you sleep if you hadn't questioned him. That's not okay and he needs to know that.

You should make a plan together for what to do when it happens, and he should stick to that plan - maybe the plan would be that he wakes you up and changes the sheets, or whatever it is you think would make you most comfortable.

While you shouldn't treat him differently because of something he can't help, he does need to understand that it's kind of gross and he should take steps to make it affect you as little as possible. Hope this helps a little, and good luck!

[kmhco]

You should either have him talk to his doctor (or maybe look it up online) about getting tips on how to stop wetting the bed. It could even be something psychological so he might need to see a therapist for it.

Just be supportive because lets face it he is probably really embarrassed about this. Let him know you want to help him try and find a solution together.

[Mande1985]

I think this is something you need to discuss with him. We can't really tell you what you can do. You both need to be adults and talk about the issues. You also need to be understanding. It might be something that has broken his other relationships up. He may have wanted it to be different with you. Good luck. Keep us updated.

[6Paul11]

Christ almighty, that must have been humiliating for him.

I would normally give a cold, mean answer, and tell you to get him a box of pampers so he will be shamed into being potty-trained.

But, it seems like you actually like him enough to deal with it. So I will give you a nicer answer.

The poor guy is obviously insecure about this issue. There are a number of different possibilities for this condition. Until he gets this sorted out, I would suggest that the two of you sleep in different beds.

[Pedantic]

I think this is the most extreme case of enuresis I have heard of. The most simplest and logical treatment is a midnight wakeup to empty himself. Tell him to set the alarm on his phone every night.

Also alcohol is a no-no. Going to sleep smashed is asking for it.

[Anonymous]

I'm 16 and I deal with wetting the bed as well. I wear adult pullups, have a plastic cover that zips completely around the bed (underneath a regular sheet). If I have an accident, I change the sheets and shower. I have tried using a bed wetting alarm (it's a clip that goes on your underwear and another on your waistband. When you start to pee, it triggers the alarm (very loud and annoying. It also buzzes). And you have to undo the alarm (very complicated process) so that you wake up to pee.). I suggest that you ask him to wake you when he has an accident (if he wakes up, sometimes he may sleep right through it). Help him switch the sheets and take a shower. Dont get angry or frustrated with having to wake up, I'm sure you'd much rather wake up then sit in a puddle of pee. Be supportive. He doesn't like this anymore than you do.

[foolycooly1001]

Apparently there are treatments for it. link

[Anonymous]

Im pretty sure he can hold his bladder in day light, he can do it at night too if there is no medical issue. Make sure he visits the restroom before bed, or just let him wear diapers. As an adult its not possible to wet the bed, you'd be very conscious if you wanted to visit the toilet. I think he's just being lazy. Not wanting to get up.

[Anonymous]

Tell him not to drink anything before he goes to bed because then it will give him the urge to urinate when he sleeps. Hopefully that should help a little.If it becomes a serious issue then you may have to leave him. He hsould had told you what he did and he should had clean it up or even tried. I can't blame you for being mad about that.

[Caliguy88]

I had a little phase this happened when I’d drink a long time ago. I don't know. I didn’t see a dr. It wasn’t much... but happened a few times. It just stopped. I feel like it was a bladder infection or something... it was short lived... but if a dr says he fine... weird... has he done this his whole life. The times it happened to me was so awful. Did it a couple times with my ex. She was cool but she probably would have been pissed if it kept going.

[MotherEarth2020]

I have a adult step son and he wets the bed. But he suffering problem in the urine track. He has a birth defect

Maybe your boyfriend has something similar that is not found yet

[rdm999999]

I have found (by experience) that wearing diapers and plastic pants whenever there is a chance I might be sleeping solves this issue. I would far rather wake up in a wet diaper than a wet bed or wet pants.

[Meedo]

There are medicines that when taken.. makes him wake up when he needs to pee. See a doctor.

[ClauseViter]

Take him to a behavior modification therapist they can provide effective strategies to correct a disruptive n discructive behavior such as that.

[Yogesh_bombay]

First of all stop him Drinking, then you will see improvement

[Pete671]

Make him wear a nappy, it's the booze that probably causing incontinence,,,

[Konnour]

Make him to wear a diaper!

Problem solved!

[Anonymous]

Don't sleep with him anymore.

[sponge-bob]

you need to develop a pee fetish

[Anonymous]

Don't sleep with kids.