I have had loads of trouble attracting a girl and I didn't know why. I have no trouble approaching a girl or asking a girl out. I also have no trouble making the first move and showing a girl that I have a sexual side too (obviously not in a creepy way, but not holding back things because I'm too afraid of what she will think etc).
I finally sat down with three separate close female friend that I have known for about 5 years at least. I asked them for a direct, blunt, honest opinion on what they think I come across as to women, and highlighted my recent frustrations. I told them not to hold back at all.
they all had the same answer, and it sorta shocked me but confirmed what I believed: They all said the reason why it is difficult for me to attract women is because I do not look masculine. I asked them to clarify and they said "well, you dress extremely well, carry yourself well, and do come across as very confident, and we all know it, you are in fact are one of the most succesful and driven friends I know and I actually sort of admire how driven you are. however you look very young for your age and have a babyface - but not a babyface with masculine features that girls like..but a baby-baby face". They then told me there was not much I could do (I can't grow facial hair and I already dress maturely). I told them that I started lifting and I looked visibly very athletic (I am at 175 pounds at around 11% bodyfat), but they said that actually made things worse for me - they all said I look like a ripped toned man with a the head shape and face of a little boy, and that it looks a little off. they also commented on how what turns them on about the guys they all dated was the fact that they had scruffy five o clock shadows / hairy arms etc, and pointed to the fact of how I barely had any hair on my arms and how that was actually a huge turnoff.
What do I do? I feel lik I am completely screwed. they mentioned maybe lowering my physical standards and date a girl that I am not that attracted to physically or give overweight girls a chance. Really? So I'm super fit and I am supposed to only date overweight girls because I have a babyface. Nothing against overweight women but I think it is fair to date someone of the opposite gender that is closer to your equal in terms of physical fitness too?
I mean, is this real life? I thought with enough work you can improve your apperance but apparently not?
Most Helpful Opinions
U said: ha ha thanks...Well it didn't bother me for a while, since I was focused on getting ahead at my career and purchasing my own house and taking care of myself. However, most of my friends are settled down with people and it is difficult to find people to hang out, so it is starting to get to me now.
Thats part of your problem too. Unfortunately when friends start to grow families that's when you need to have other friends, single ones that you can hang out with and share similar interests. Because your old friends have family oriented goals and you are not there yet. Plus if you have a baby face, there's women that like that and financially speaking you are let's say set for life, and I think for anybody I know that's a good combo. Remember that meeting the One is not something that happens over night so just wait for HER and meanwhile have FUN.
well, I worked on myself for 7+ years and WAS having fun. She never came? So right now that's all supposed to change and she is supposed to just show up on my doorstep? I disagree.
But yeah, I am thinking about traveling now and doing some extra FUN stuff and persuing some other things on my own terms - there are benefits to being single.
lol wht I meant is that you will meet her when you least expect it. You never now, maybe when you are having fun around u, she might be looking at you and find u.