Crush asked me to be his roommate.

[Anonymous]

I've had a crush on one of my guy friends for almost a year now, but I'm shy and never did anything about it. We're less close now than we used to be, but we're both about to graduate and move to NYC. I was going to try to find a studio somewhere since my job isn't that high paying and I don't know anyone else who lives there. The other day I was hanging out with him and some other people, and he asked if I wanted to see about finding a 2-bedroom apartment and living together since we already know each other.

I have no idea if he knows I like him. I have no idea if he likes me. It actually would be a lot cheaper to live with him, but I think I 'm going to go crazy if I'm seeing him all the time but we're not together. Is there any chance we could ever go from living together to dating?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the input guys :)


Weirdly, him having girls over isn't what I'm worried about (we've both dated other people since I've had a crush on him). I think just spending so much time together alone would be hard, because it would feel like we were together. When he brings girls around now, it's easy to remember that we're not together and if anything it pushes me to get over it and pursue my own stuff, you know?

[krissybabes4e]

you should tell him beforehand. It's hard I know I recently confessed to a guy and I couldn't even do it in person. Message him on Facebook or text him about it, but then be like "there's something you should know first though." Tell him you've had a crush on him and that you're unsure if he feels the same, and that if he doesn't that you would just rather he forget you said anything about it. If he's a d*** about it, then you probably wouldn't have enjoyed living with him anyway.

If he doesn't feel the same he'll most likely say something like "You're cool and nice, but I don't see you that way. I hope this won't affect our friendship."

If he says he likes you too, PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Date for as long as you can before deciding to move in and get a place etc. Some people only show what they want you to see and you don't want to be stuck living with someone you broke up with whether it ended mutually or not.

[why-makoto-kun]

I think it's a bad idea. I wouldn't room with someone of the opposite sex (unless they were gay) due to sexual tension like that. It could make things super complicated and hurt feelings.

[why-makoto-kun]

And yes, definitely tell him your feelings. Good luck. :)

[Confucius16]

Just tell him. You don't want to have him find out when you get to be his roommate. Let him know of your feelings before you get together. It would be really hard for you if you lived with him and knew that your crush was dating someone else. So let him know. I know it is hard, but you have to try. Good luck. :)

[Anonymous]

You have to tell him. Since you're very shy...you could say...this sounds like a good idea...but we should rent a one bedroom apartment. He will immediately know how you feel...and you will immediately know how he feels about you from his reaction and look on his face.

[Confucius16]

That would sound kind of strange. But this is good though.

[Opinion Owner]

Ha ha..yeah I know its a little strange...but she could point out the huge price difference between one and two bedroom apts. in NY..lol

[FourStar]

He defeinetly does not know you like him you should tell him that you like him first before you move in toghteer, think about it what if he brought a girl home and was having sex with her how would oyu feel...pretty bad but you couldn't tell him you liked him, he wouldn't care cause he doesn't know you like him.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, you should discuss this first. The other guy is right. If you don't, you're eventually going to have to listen to him having sex with another girl. Actually, if you live with him that's almost a guarantee unless you're the one having sex with him.

Having said all that, a roommate is definitely the way to go in NYC. Good luck.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

You need to be upfront with your feelings before you commit to moving in as roommates with someone.