What's your opinion? *help this poor girl out please*

[Anonymous]

to be honest, I don't know what to think about this anymore. This guy is a very handsome, very polite, 26-year old that works in a building I work at. we work together, however, he moves from building to building, so we have a different boss and job title, etc.

anyway, I've known him since a little before Christmas. I looked a flustered mess, but he smiled and shook my hand. for the first few weeks, he came to me for help and I helped him happily. after that, work got hetic and it was me who needed help. even though it was his not his job to check on me, he would cross the room to ask me if I was doing okay. he'd suggest coming over to him.

i don't remember his exacts words were but it was along the lines of "you belong on our side" (his side of our area where he stands in front of)

after chatting about a party he was excited to go to, he found out I'd be staying at work alone and even though he was not being paid extra for this, he offered to stay with me. I waved him off twice and each time he hesitated to leave.

it was after a few months I really developed a bit of a crush on the man.

right now, its hard for me to even be around him without being curious, excited, and of course shy.

but these are the things that make me wonder:

he always makes sure he says something to me before he has to leave

he always tells me when he's going to see me again

he'll always try to get a conversation going when I'm around

he'll tell me stories about his childhood, a bit about his family, how his week went, what his current situation is like, and how his friends are (some things I find a bit odd.. admitting to stomach flu and how his friends may or may not still being doing party drugs and how he's really not a fan)

he'll tease me from time to time (not very often)

he will show concern for me. (talking about going out at certain places and he'll make sure to remind me to be careful)

we'll laugh over coworkers and oddball things that happen

he'll tell me when something funny happens to him while around

he starts tapping his thumbs/fingers on our desk

he'll start whistling very loudly when I'm around (ive only ever noticed it with me)

he'll always looks at me when we're speaking, his body towards me. when he's speaking to more than just me, his body is still facing towards me.

and recently he kinda looked down and blushed when admitting he thought if I owned a giant dog it would definitely "love you".

there is a 5 year age difference. and he NEVER talks about girls or dating with me (he has with a mutual coworker of ours-- my friend)

he's never asked for my number

he's never asked me out

he's never touched me

he;s never complemented my looks

and lastly, he asked the same coworker if she thought it was okay to date someone who was 21? though he wasn't actually looking.

i don't know..its frustrating. mostly because I really want to be this guys friend, and I wouldn't be opposed to maybe seeing him. what do you guys think of the situation?

Updates

+1 y

my co-workers/girls my age, don't see it though. they don't think anything is going on.

Updates

+1 y

doesn't like you. move on

[konboxrip]

Oh my, he is definitely into you but is very afraid to make his move.

You have to bust the comfort zone bubble.

It all starts with a smile and looking into his eyes for a long period of time. He is at the stage where he knows he has you, but wants to wait for the right moment to make his move.

I already see one small problem. When he was asking if he should stay with you, instead of going to the party, and you told him to go, he more than likely took that as a turn down. I think he was testing the waters to see if you will reject even his slightest of advances. Its kinda hard to explain, but when I am really attracted to a girl, and I want to see if I get a yes, I will test the waters by asking her if I can study with her, or hang out with her sometime. That is why he was reluctant to go, even after you told him the first time that he can go. He was testing you to see if you wanted to spend time with him. But, this can be fixed.

Here is what you need to do. When the next time you see him again, tell him about a restaurant that you have been to. Tell him what you liked about it and that you would like to go back soon. Say like Olive Garden has this awesome --your favorite type of food-- and describe what you liked about it. Say this while looking in his eyes. What this does, is trigger a response in himself to say, I would like to go sometime to, and that is where the bubble starts to bust. Just beat around the bush about the restaurant and your favorite things to eat and it will give him the courage to say something that will lead you on the right path of getting him. Also, he will know where to take you and what to try when you guys go together.

Try it out, my second girlfriend said those exact same words, and it gave me the confidence to bust the comfort zone bubble. I just knew that she wanted me to, because she didn't break her eye contact when she was telling me about what she liked about the restaurant, she really knew how to play her cards, its time to learn from the best.

[Asker]

oh no :( I just said that because I wanted him to have fun at the party. he'd been working so hard all day, and I thought it would be best to relax with his buddies.

i was going to see if maybe he'd drive me home? if that's a bit of an excuse. he said he'd finally be working longer on weekends, so since I have a late shift, I was going to tell him how I have to take two buses home in the night (which is true, I will have to if he doesn't say anything) and see if maybe he'll offer me a ride home

[konboxrip]

That's really smart! Yeah give it a shot, if its meant to be, it will be. :)

[Asker]

so sadly I couldn't use that plan because he spent his day on the other side of the building. he did try to get my attention before leaving. for a bit, he seemed kinda upset, and when I asked him if he was okay he seemed confused as to why I'd ask. I took offense to it and stopped talking to him. when he thought I was alone he came over to ask me about my day. before leaving again, he came to ask how things were going. once he was leaving, he asked if I was coming back when he was.

[Confucius16]

QA: you made a bad mistake. You should not take offense at what other people say or do. If someone does something you don't like, and if you stop talking, then you're just reacting. You're not communicating and you'll make him even more confused as to why you stop talking to him and his confusion just leads to more confusion.

[Confucius16]

It sounds like he is really caring and shy, and he doesn't want to do anything that would upset you or that you aren't fine with. He could be from a religious or traditional background, for all I know, and in religious or traditional backgrounds, people have the possibility of being more innocent. Maybe he's innocent?

[Asker]

he's admitted to me that he doesn't come from a very 'innocent' background.

[Confucius16]

Then he could be shy or reluctant to take things too far. I think he might like you though.

[Confucius16]

You're not being very clear in your updates. What do you mean in your comment on Downsyndrome's answer, and what do you mean by "doesn't like you. move on"?

[allison13]

It sounds like he's truly interested in you. If you want to start something with him, you could ask him out. If you're not the type to ask guys out, tell him you wanna buy him a drink or a coffee to thank him for the times he kept you company.

[konboxrip]

Being Bold! Now that's the stuff! +1

[Asker]

i was thinking about doing something like that :) thank you for answering

[allison13]

Good luck! Hope it goes well

[ohwowitsnotkim]

he doesn't like you. you're reading into this too much. if he did like you he would have asked you for his number and your co workers would definitely pick it up.

[Gawesome]

hmm...does he have a gf? That's the BIGGEST question. You need to find that out first! He could be interested in you...I dunno. It could mean anything.

I'm gonna put you two in work wife/husband territory. It's strictly friendship on a professional level...for now. ;)

[Asker]

we're all a bit confused on that, I'd ask him but I feel it would be a bit inappropriate work talk.

[Gawesome]

do it indirectly and discretely. You slip in 'the bf' in a comment or question. Like..."oh that lunch looks delicious...did you make that?...or did your Girlfriend or mom make it for you?" XD

[Confucius16]

Haha. Good one, Gawesome. That false slip of the tongue definitely works.

[Gawesome]

I do it all the time...works like a charm! It's blunt enough that it'll get them interested IF there're single. Do it in a joking way. The ones in happy relationships always goes on and on about how awesome their significant other is.

[Anonymous]

He's really interested in you. He's just shy and is worried about age differences.

[Asker]

thank you for answering, anon!