Why gorgeous girls are usually the most self conscious

[Anonymous]

You might think pretty girls would have it easy in life but no. They are usually the most self conscious. Why is that you might ask? Well studies have shown that the prettier girls usually get approached less often. Most guys are too scared of rejection and find prettier girls less approachable. Which makes the girls think well if this girl has guys all over her and she's not that attractive then I must be really unnatractive since I can't get anyone.

Now dont get me wrong there are still many girls who are beautiful and know it and have guys all over them but they usually have to be a total flirt and have to approach guys first. But with other girls when they already have it there head thinking that there super ugly they are usually too scared of approaching guys first.

SO guys if you see a beautiful girl and your thinking of approaching her or asking her out just go for it she's less likely to say no than you think. And girls if guys never approach you dont take it personally you could be absolutely stunning and its not that guys dont like you its usually the other way around.

[Mekkalyn]

I'm sorry, but ugly girls are almost always going to be the most self-conscious.

A really beautiful girl might be more self conscious than an average looking one, but not nearly as bad as someone who is actually not good looking. They do not get approached by anyone and feel horribly about themselves.

[letsnot]

Agree absolutely

[Mekkalyn]

I just had a problem with the idea that gorgeous girls are the MOST self-conscious. It should have been worded differently and the idea of them being the "most" should have been left out. If this was about how beautiful women can be self-conscious, too, then I definitely agree.

Just wanted to further clarify for the asker.

[ConsultantIsBack]

And many other girls attack them, which is repulsive and pathetic to watch.

[redeyemindtricks]

... and that's just the attacks that you boys actually recognize as attacks.

Tip of a big big iceberg, those are.

[ConsultantIsBack]

@redeyemindtricks ya i bet

[I_am_repulsive]

Did you call me bro?

[ConsultantIsBack]

@I_am_repulsive lol nope. carry on

[FlutteringFeelings]

Thats very true because they do get picked on for whatever reason.

[SmartButBroke]

I'm bisexual, so I understand the issue from both sides. And what I'd say is this:

This post is incomplete. Guys approach girls for one of 5 reasons: 1) she seems open/easy sexually, 2) she seems very friendly and receptive, 3) she gives signs and flirts when she's interested, 4) he is so interested that, regardless of anything, he musters the courage despite being nervous/scared of rejection, 5) he is overly confident or arrogant and doesn't really care if you reject him. Without one of these things being true, a guy is not approaching you, regardless of how you look.

*Basically, there are really beautiful women who do get a lot of approaches and attention/interest outright, and there are ones who don't, and this is the difference.* Most of the time, the ones who are very beautiful and don't get approached are the ones with whom ALL 5 of these things are missing or all but maybe one is. I am not universally gorgeous and don't view myself as attractive, but I know I fit the beauty standards within my racial group. For some reason, my personality is read differently by different people, and some guys think I am shy and sweet and some think I am intimidating or a bitch. Guys who approach me always tell me I seem "shy" or "sweet." Other guys act scared to even just ask me a question at work or will just stare at me all the time from afar. I have had friends who are average-looking, but they were either very openly sexual and flirtatious or they were very friendly, and the same guys would stare at me and not talk to me but would approach my friends and line up to talk to them. I have had girls appear to be scared to talk to me, too. I enjoy keeping people I'm not interested in away, though, so this doesn't bother me--but I've noticed this a lot.

I also would under very few circumstances approach a gorgeous woman. Her personality would have to be so amazing and we seem like such a good fit for me to take that chance. And I know gorgeous women--I don't believe most won't reject a guy, unless they're insecure or desperate. The majority of very beautiful women have higher standards--not necessarily for looks, either--than other women do. I know I have crazy high standards for personality, smarts and behavior. I reject most people who approach me because they don't measure up in that way, or because their approach style is lousy. Most women don't rip apart guys' approach style the way I do--a guy has to be flawless with his approach for me.

Hope this helps.

[ArtDent]

We have MHO in my opinion

[SmartButBroke]

@ArtDent thank you.

[Errhh]

I have a theory!! And by no means am I saying I'm the most beautiful or that I am. Even though I am awesome haha!! 😁. Anyway!! WhT I believe based on personal experience, is that ever since I was really small, I get all these compliments, like "you're so pretty", "I love your hair", "your eye lashes are so beautiful", "you have a really nice body, why don't you show it off more?" "She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen"..,, comments like that I suppose are what have helped made me feel so highly of myself, BUT also, I do believe that those exact type of comments are what have made me feel the MOST insecure about my flaws. And I'll explain why.

The reason is, because every time someone compliments me in such ways that even their way of looking at me is like they're really amazed, then it makes me feel insecure in the way that I'm thinking, 'if they were to truly see me completely naked, they would not think this at all!!! Because I am not perfect'!! So therefore, I look at myself in the mirror exposed before me all my flaws, and I'm thinking if they were to actually notice this, and this, and this, It would feel awful because they had previously judged me and rated on a different perspective... As oppose to no being previously admired or complimented so much, so you know people know you have flaws, therefore your flaws don't seem so big as those who have not been exposed. So you try to keep up an image that was previously admired by others, so your flaws seem gigantic!!!

I am not sure if that makes any sense, and I do not think I am gorgeous, not am I saying that all people view me as such, but from the people surrounding me, that's the type of attention I've been given, therefore, it feels almost as if I cannot even feel comfortable when the same people see me without combing my hair, because I'm afraid (for some strange reason) that they'll now think of me as "ugly".

[BlondeTechGirl]

Yes!! This is exactly how I feel. There are so many compliments and people acting like I am perfect and I feel like they will be disappointed seeing me naked because I am not perfect. There is so much pressure to be perfect having people act like I am perfect with my stupid Barbie doll face. I feel so self conscious naked because I am not perfect and my womanly areas are not perfect but being put on this perfect pedestal makes me feel so bad about myself that all of me isn’t perfect and will just disappoint people. Also, I have to try so hard to be something other than a pretty face/body. I have to prove I have a brain and not just looks.

[Wanderingheartbeat]

Lmaoooo bitch show me the studies and how recent these studies are.

Pretty girls are more self conscious because they know they are pretty and that's pretty much all they have to offer.
I'm being serious.
I grew up in a world where beautiful people surrounded me, men and women, family members and best friends.
And let me tell you... this "beautiful people" have it the hardest because they have to look good all the time.
Of you tell a pretty girl one eyebrow looks bigger than the other she will go home and stare at it and pluck the shit out of it because of how low her self esteem is.
These people were told they were beautiful all their life; if not by people then by media.
And that's all they focused on rather than developing themselves as a person.
Not all pretty people are like this but most of them all.
Most.
I think cuter people (cuter guys and girls) are the ones who don't really know that they are cute (because they tend to be less maintained) yet they have younger facial features and cute sweet smiles natrually. They don't need make up. They can even roll out of bed and look like shit and still be cute as fuck.
That's what I think. I was bullied by these two girls in school; use to kick my ass, pull my hair, etc. But later on they told me they were jealous because they thought I was pretty. I didn't have low self-esteem or self concious though like the article said. I couldn't give a fuck.

[Anonymous]

im not sure if this is a question for high schoolers since a lot of the answers seem like high school answers... but this problem does carry on in the adult world. I guess I am considered hot im considered thick because I have a chunky butt, thighs and boobs, I work out I have a light tan skin tone black long hair and dark brown eyes that lighten up in the direct sunlight. I have a hard time meetings guys unless they message me on facebook or something because its like they aren't brave enough to in person... the reason im insecure is because they see me clothed and hair done and etc that im afraid once they get to know me they won't like my ersonality or whats under my clothes because there's things that bother me that may not bother the guy but I can't shake the insecurity.. i dont want what they CAN see to blind what they can't see that moment if that makes sense. also it IS really hard to find a guy that doesn't just want to sleep with you. All these woman who consider themselves to be fat or ugly and think girls they consider prettier then them are actually going through tough times too although most of them DO flaunt their stuff its to hide and take the focus off what their insecure about.

[Anonymous]

MEN

yes a lot of guys are like this, im trying to get them out of that mindset, but its very hard there scared of the word NO, there scared of FAILING they forget too realize they've been failing there whole life, and no matter what happens, there will be a girl that likes them

ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS ASK BUT THEY DON'T, but there will be girls that say no, I use too think girls didn't like me and I was ugly, come to find out,, If im just honest and up front with them, they say yes most of the time, I see so many 30 year old virgins and there virgins because they don't ask, and they don't fix themselves up, MEN if you want too become more appealing to women FIX YOUR SHIT, if your a fat fuck do exercise, if your ugly fix your shit too look better, and find a goal something you really enjoy and do it till your the best its so simple

MEN LISTEN YOU WILL FAIL,, GET UP AND DO IT AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN, AND AGAIN

GO THROUGH PAIN ITS GOOD FOR YOU, HOW ARE YOU GONNA LEARN IF YOUR ALWAYS COMFORTABLE AND NEVER EXPERIENCE LOSS, REJECTION, HURT, DON'T RUN TOO YOUR ROOM AND CLOSE YOURSELF IN THERE PAIN IS TEMPORARY BUT EVENTUALLY ITS GONE

MEN IF YOU LISTEN TO THIS AND PUT IN 100% EVERYDAY YOU WILL BE GREAT, I DON'T CARE WHATS YOUR MOTIVATION USE IT TOO BE THE BEST

[D_Bone_Steak]

So much truth in this. Too many guys sit around with some fearful pity party thing going on and a sense of entitlement to the things that would come easy to a guy that's put in his work... yet won't do anything to get there. All connected to rejection fears.

Fearful to hit the gym... because someone might say something there.
Fearful to get told "not interested" by a chick... HA!

[Opinion Owner]

@D_Bone_Steak
THANK YOU BUT THEY DON'T LISTEN THERE TOO BUSY KISSING SOME GIRLS ASS THAT WON'T GIVE THEM PUSSY, CAUSE IT TAKES GIRLS A FEW SECONDS TOO REALIZE IF SHE WANTS TO FUCK,

IT DOES NOT TAKE DAYS OR WEEKS OR MONTHS TOO FUCK A GIRL, IT HAPPENS NOW DON'T EVER FORGET IT

[SnoopHogg]

I think you just made my day!

[ThisDudeHere]

I might believe that pretty girls have less guys approaching them. What I don't know if I can believe in is that they're more receptive than less pretty girls.
Say what you want but any person wants an attractive partner - someone who's at the very least *as* attractive as they are. Good looking people have less to choose from since the partners they'd prefer are less in number in general.
If I approach a pretty girl like the one in the picture, she's highly likely to be offended that someone unatractive (at least when compared to her) dared to approach her.
Attractive people see unatractive people approaching them as an insult in my opinion.

[FlutteringFeelings]

I disagree. Because there are verrry beautiful women who goes out with not so attractive guys. Sometimes two people getting attention from different individuals can be annoying in a relatonship.

[Wanderingheartbeat]

So freaken true. The dudes who think they are all hot get so grossed out if an average looking girl even talked to them.

[honeybones]

Many of these "gorgeous" women are caked on with makeup, act flirty, are popular, and typically dress more revealing and thus they get more attention, on the other hand naturally gorgeous women who dress nicely and act like decent women should act get approached less often but I think they have a better chance of finding Mr. Right then conceded women.. Point is dont compare yourself to today's INCREDIBLY HIGH and RIDICULOUS standards (big ass, small waist, big boobs) not that its impossible but its hard for regular women to obtain (women are supposed to gain more weight in their belly for health reasons), and many men have different tastes and regardless its personality that should matter the most because I know that someone who respects themselves is not going to want an asshole for a partner in the long run.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yeah people don't recognize the work those girls usually put in... I see eyebrows though... really really surprised looking ones, Klingons from star trek looking ones, really thin drawn on ones... and then natural girls, personality wise, I find a correlation between their eyebrows and personality... as well as shallow, fake, lustful amounts of attention going their way.

[TayTay21]

I know, guys are such pussies about asking out anyways, and if the girl is even slightly above average they get so scared like we're these awful ogres who are going to bite their heads off. I swear most guys are more scared of asking a pretty girl out than they would be of fighting the Rock.

Seriously, though, just because a girl is pretty doesn't mean she is stuck up, bitchy, or with someone already. Most of my friends are single and dying to be asked out, and they're all drop-dead gorgeous. It's such an amazing thing when a guy has the balls to come up to us and just go for it!

[red324]

I've heard this so many times and yet I've approached so many girls and even chatted with them for 10 whole minutes before finding she has a boyfriend.

[Scrambledagain]

It's so true. As a guy I have not been scared of fights (been in plenty), mosh pits, playing music live, skinny dipping, moving countries, did boxing, yet I'm scared to approach a hot girl. It's not that I'm scared per se, it's just that pretty women reject average joes so why bother? But I suppose we are all scared of the oncoming "no". A man can only take so many rejections to get that he isn't women dating material.

[Agrojag]

@red324 Yeah, that right there. Jesus it is irritating.

[RandomPerson1324]

I know some guys who have been to prison who are scared to look a girl in the eye...

[ArtDent]

You're definitely full of yourself.

[TayTay21]

@ArtDent You're clueless.

[ArtDent]

Hardly.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Bc everyone expects us to look good all the time. Sometimes people ignore the fact that you're still a person. Guys don't always come up to me, I've asked or taken a poll they think I'm beautiful but they think I'm mean and possibly reject them. Other girls hate me which is stupid. In school it was a lot worse girls threatening to do stuff to me black my eye or saying they'll cut my hair if they sat behind me. A lot of people think you can't work, you're not smart, you get any and everything you want so you shouldn't have any problems and shouldn't ever complain, some guys and some lesbians harass you if you reject them. It can all start to take a toll on you.

[isthatarose]

This is bullshit. I've been around gorgeous women and they get a lot of attention. Every single man may not try to talk to them but they get better treatment, more stares and more reactions. They may not like the type of guys giving them attention but they get it.

[Lovemybreasts]

When I was single... I never said "no" if a guy asked me to dance, for example. Even if I thought he wasn't very attractive, it's the person that counts. Nevertheless, I always have men a chance to show me they were interested beyond undressing me. To be fair, let's be honest, we covett those we find attractive in some way, at least while we are out and see them. So, in fairness, I have myself AND them an opportunity to put the REAL foot forward. I do NOT appreciate the fake, let me get you to like me, nonsense. But honestly, being approachable means you are open to men in ALL forms. If you are superficial, you may indeed miss out on a gem, hidden in the rough. Attraction is NOT simply born out of appearance; it has MUCH more depth than that. Don't miss out on YOUR gem, simply because you're being shallow.

[Strawberryx333]

Every time I get approach by a guy who isn't considered as attractive, he wants a serious relationship with me. But when an attractive guy likes me and I show interest in him, he eventually ignores me. The whole dating scene is just messed up. I always felt unattractive because the guys I've dated always broke up with me after a few months. I think personality should matter more than looks. All these insecure beautiful women usually have shit personalities so I think that explains why they rarely get approached. My guy friend used to always tell me he would avoid anything serious with them because they couldn't hold a conversation.

[Anonymous]

I think this is true! Although I do not find myself incredibly attractive, I am often told that I am, but have never had a lot of luck with guys approaching me. I usually get nervous stares instead, and always kind of assumed there was something wrong with me, that I was unattractive, and that the people telling me I was good looking were doing it because they felt sorry for me. The only one who was really upfront with me and approached me himself was my current boyfriend. My first and only other one actually had his friend ask for him!

[red324]

Interesting. I approach pretty girls all the time, they're already taken.

[Opinion Owner]

@red324 I am currently taken, but when I was single not a lot of guys approached me.

[Opinion Owner]

@red324 And even being taken I don't get approached much, although ironically it seems to happen more when I am in a relationship than it does when I am single, haha.

[tyber1]

I ask pretty girls out plenty. I always convince myself that they probably don't get approached as often as I think and they're just people like anyone else so of course I have as good a chance as anyone.

Then I get turned down like every other time.

In my own personal experience, guys who are scared of approaching pretty girls are justified in their anxiety.

[Agrojag]

Yeah, I agree. They don't get approached often for a reason. It's not some arbitrary coincidence.

[krash2002]

I've seen this quite a bit, and I've got a buddy of mine who might be considered a 6/10 on the rector scales of looks. However, she ends up with women who are absolutely stunning. Just because he's very confident, and knows how to choose such women with such a high insecurity issue. That they end up dating him for a bit, because of just that... their insecurities.

[peachblossomluck]

The beautiful ones get gawked at all the time and being defined by their appearance so they are used to being watched constantly and criticized, expected never to look messy, tired, sick or flawed lest someone point it out to them like it's a Red Cross emergency.

[TripleAce]

It's not really about getting asked out less often. Because lots of guys hit on pretty girls. Sure maybe not as much as an easy target but still a lot and maybe even of better quality

Pretty girls can be self conscious because being perfect is hard, and when there's the slightest thing out of place... It makes them feel the need to adjust it immediately. So any small tiny imperfection makes a pretty girl very insecure

[BiscuitesSwag]

I have noticed this too.
I know a girl who is seriously below average (not trying to be mean or jealouse, but this is the truth, and not just in my eyes) and gets hit on and asked out everytime she steps out of the door. @.@ I just have never understood why before starting to use this site.

[Anonymous]

"Most guys are too scared of rejection and find prettier girls less approachable."

I don't think this is entirely the reason.

Our society and our people have been becoming more and more sexual, in both social (behavior) and physiological (early puberty, early adulthood) ways.

So it follows that men are more likely to solicit a more sexual looking girl (big butt, big hips, tiny waist) for sex than to solicit a "pretty" girl (cute face, slender body) for a long term relationship.

Basically, we've evolved (or devolved, in my opinion) to care less about conventional "attractiveness".

[serious]

Of course, that's because they tend to compare themselves with other gorgeous women, of course not all gorgeous women do that but some of them do and secondly they always want to look at their best so are always thinking about what to do regarding that so they tend to be more self conscious.

[FlutteringFeelings]

Exactttttly