Well i texted the guy first and he was appreciate of me expressing my feelings, so I somewhat disagree but sort of understand where you are coming from. The guy i texted first was my first and only guy and we are going now onto our 6th year and will be marrying soon, he has a heart of gold and i'm glad i expressed my feelings to him.
I think this is more of a personal problem than advice people should. I almost always text first just because Im used to it, but when girls text me first and they are interesting Ill get to know them, when if they hadn't texted me I might have never gotten to know them.
Most of your points are spot on, but I disagree with your conclusion, you see no one likes the chase and when guys message first they can come across as clingy to and mostly get poor results. Sometimes a guy might want to really text you, but he might believe that your to out of his league for him, it may not even be a confidence issue many of my friends aren't shy people in general, but when it comes to texting girls, they tend to under rate themselves. You making the first move will be greatly appreciated by many people since they will know your interested. However your right in others will see it as clingy that generally is down to the person you text though. My advise make the first move if you really like them.
I think that only apply to the "dating" game right? You never want to text your classmate friend, or coworker, or just friend in general-who-happen-to-be-a-guy first? Is all the guy in your phone you considered dating material and have to play this texting game with?
I'm happy i don't have to play that game anymore once I gotten in a relationship. My girlfriend can text me first to start a conversation , or I can do it. It really doesn't matter anymore after that.
I text girls because they are dumb enough to wallow in their own ego around who to text first. And if one of us doesn't text then the relationship dies then and there. Pathetic what people think should happen these days, they would rather remain in their own bubble than see the bigger picture. Regardless your mytake was well written.
''if a boy hasn't been reaching out to me, it's because he literally just doesn't want to''.
Yeah that's the thing if a woman doesn't message me first I will assume she is busy talking to someone else/not interested. Or that i need to prove my worth through texting something interesting first for her to bother replying.
I mean whore like myself lost all the senses that attract guys from miles away. However, I can make thing interesting. Girls want some fun so be yourself and be mindful at the same time. You can make things better or worse but things stays the same anyway. In the end we are just mortals.
I'm about to break things off with a woman that I thought I got along with. She never initiates ANYTHING, except a good morning or goodnight text. Every conversation is me saying something and her responding. Maybe she likes me but wants me to chase her? I don't know. I see it as her not being interested in me and leading me on to be polite.
Well she has initiated first with good morning texts. Maybe she feels that she has already put enough of herself out there, and feels that you need to show interest. So what have you done to show interest to her? Sometimes when we have a problem we need to look, not only at the behaviour of the other person, but our own as well. Good luck!
Then it doesn't look good. Maybe wait for her to contact you. But be aware that you risk losing her. But by the sounds of things... Did you really have her interest and attention anyhow? 🤔
In my personal experience I only text girls back who will text me first from time to time they make really great friends but if I always have to text you first eventually I'll think I'm just annoying you so I'll just stop texting you all together
I don't know what your definition of somewhat clingy is but it seems like people make it out to be a black and white thing like either a girl has to be all over you or she's distant like there's no middle ground.
But there was this one girl I was seeing who was super clingy that I ended it with. I told her when I was available and when I wasn't and yet she'd hit me up to hang out literally every day like when I told her I wasn't available and she's start accusing me of seeing other people, not being interested, etc.
She'd even ask me if I was still interested when I agreed to a date or rescheduled, wtf! And 5 mins after we parted ways on our 3rd date, she texted me saying if you're not into me, let me know at least.
That turned me off for sure and this was all within seeing each other 3 times in 2 weeks.
@bloodmountain1990 dang you wrote a lot lol what I mean by some what is she'll be close but not like heeeey *hangs off your neck* (exaggerated example)
this behavior of girls is making me so confused! this girl I'm texting right now she never start to text me if I don't, it feels like that she is not interested... but also she like to ignore or stop responding to text sometimes... is it becasuse of she playing the game? why?
@RedVulcan Thank you very much! In the real world if he wants the girl really bad he'd make a move. If she wants the guy really bad, she'd make a move. That's how it works. It doesn't matter if they're shy or feel they're too old or have a disability, if they want the person that badly, they'd at least give it a try. And these same down voters would be the first to call a girl a desperate clingy psycho for putting in the same effort they're unwilling to do themselves.
Um.. You are a fool.. what kind of an excuse is that 'the society tells us, so we will do that."
Listen, people don't care who texts first or how much time you wait before sending another text. If you want to send a text, you send it. Do this, and you'll realize that suddenly you're living a life with a lot less bullshit.
I dont do it because society tells me. If you read my take, you would know that I experimented myself and I decide to act in a way that I get the most results.
I don't get why in both cases you want a guy to only concentrate on you. We guys have a life as well as you girls. You'd only be a part of it, as well as us guys in yours. But guys like me don't even want to constantly think of you or be around you.
What? I am very confused how you got this impression. I do not want guys to inly concentrate on me... I wish I could explain why to you but I dont even know where you came up with this idea
"If boys liked me, they would put in the effort to basically 'chase' me." I did talk to a girl I was interested in, but I hated that shy behaviour. Later she called me a stalker because I was too "aggressive". That's why I don't 'chase' girls, also because this word reminds me of hunting. And girls are no prey to me, I want them as the girls they are. Simple as that.
I'm talking about "wanting the guys to only concentrate onme.." I don't want guys to be constantly thinking about me and my take didn't have anything to do with that
Well its definitely your right to do that but if a guy feels the same way about it and wants to test whether you want him or not you'll be out of luck.
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Well i texted the guy first and he was appreciate of me expressing my feelings, so I somewhat disagree but sort of understand where you are coming from. The guy i texted first was my first and only guy and we are going now onto our 6th year and will be marrying soon, he has a heart of gold and i'm glad i expressed my feelings to him.
I think this is more of a personal problem than advice people should. I almost always text first just because Im used to it, but when girls text me first and they are interesting Ill get to know them, when if they hadn't texted me I might have never gotten to know them.
Most of your points are spot on, but I disagree with your conclusion, you see no one likes the chase and when guys message first they can come across as clingy to and mostly get poor results. Sometimes a guy might want to really text you, but he might believe that your to out of his league for him, it may not even be a confidence issue many of my friends aren't shy people in general, but when it comes to texting girls, they tend to under rate themselves. You making the first move will be greatly appreciated by many people since they will know your interested. However your right in others will see it as clingy that generally is down to the person you text though. My advise make the first move if you really like them.
I think that only apply to the "dating" game right? You never want to text your classmate friend, or coworker, or just friend in general-who-happen-to-be-a-guy first? Is all the guy in your phone you considered dating material and have to play this texting game with?
I'm happy i don't have to play that game anymore once I gotten in a relationship. My girlfriend can text me first to start a conversation , or I can do it. It really doesn't matter anymore after that.
I text girls because they are dumb enough to wallow in their own ego around who to text first. And if one of us doesn't text then the relationship dies then and there. Pathetic what people think should happen these days, they would rather remain in their own bubble than see the bigger picture. Regardless your mytake was well written.
''if a boy hasn't been reaching out to me, it's because he literally just doesn't want to''.
Yeah that's the thing if a woman doesn't message me first I will assume she is busy talking to someone else/not interested. Or that i need to prove my worth through texting something interesting first for her to bother replying.
I mean whore like myself lost all the senses that attract guys from miles away. However, I can make thing interesting. Girls want some fun so be yourself and be mindful at the same time. You can make things better or worse but things stays the same anyway. In the end we are just mortals.
I'm about to break things off with a woman that I thought I got along with. She never initiates ANYTHING, except a good morning or goodnight text. Every conversation is me saying something and her responding. Maybe she likes me but wants me to chase her? I don't know. I see it as her not being interested in me and leading me on to be polite.
Well she has initiated first with good morning texts. Maybe she feels that she has already put enough of herself out there, and feels that you need to show interest. So what have you done to show interest to her? Sometimes when we have a problem we need to look, not only at the behaviour of the other person, but our own as well. Good luck!
@Poppykate I have initiated everything in our conversations.
@Poppykate including half of those good morning and goodnight texts. She asks me nothing, and hasn't contacted me since our date on Saturday.
Then it doesn't look good. Maybe wait for her to contact you. But be aware that you risk losing her. But by the sounds of things... Did you really have her interest and attention anyhow? 🤔
@Poppykate She hasn't contacted me in a week and a half, so it's obvious.
Somewhat clingy girls can be cute
In my personal experience I only text girls back who will text me first from time to time they make really great friends but if I always have to text you first eventually I'll think I'm just annoying you so I'll just stop texting you all together
I don't know what your definition of somewhat clingy is but it seems like people make it out to be a black and white thing like either a girl has to be all over you or she's distant like there's no middle ground.
But there was this one girl I was seeing who was super clingy that I ended it with. I told her when I was available and when I wasn't and yet she'd hit me up to hang out literally every day like when I told her I wasn't available and she's start accusing me of seeing other people, not being interested, etc.
She'd even ask me if I was still interested when I agreed to a date or rescheduled, wtf! And 5 mins after we parted ways on our 3rd date, she texted me saying if you're not into me, let me know at least.
That turned me off for sure and this was all within seeing each other 3 times in 2 weeks.
Some guys would say come on dude, go for her, she's into you. Or she's better than girls who don't text at all.
And I'm like oh come on, if me, you, or any guy acted that way, we all know what would happen. Especially if we did that very early on like she did.
@bloodmountain1990 dang you wrote a lot lol what I mean by some what is she'll be close but not like heeeey *hangs off your neck* (exaggerated example)
this behavior of girls is making me so confused! this girl I'm texting right now she never start to text me if I don't, it feels like that she is not interested... but also she like to ignore or stop responding to text sometimes... is it becasuse of she playing the game? why?
"My conclusion was that if boys really wanted to text me, they would. If boys liked me, they would put in the effort..."
Words to live by. Bravo.
Heh. Why the dislikes guys? She's not wrong. Altho I would add that some guys like the girl to initiate, maybe you haven't tried them yet sadly.
@RedVulcan Thank you very much! In the real world if he wants the girl really bad he'd make a move. If she wants the guy really bad, she'd make a move. That's how it works. It doesn't matter if they're shy or feel they're too old or have a disability, if they want the person that badly, they'd at least give it a try. And these same down voters would be the first to call a girl a desperate clingy psycho for putting in the same effort they're unwilling to do themselves.
Damn straight. You tell it like it is or at least like it should be😊.
Probably because you're chasing the guys with egos bigger than their brain.
They won't text back? They sound like a waste of time then. Fuck em. Move on.
Um.. You are a fool.. what kind of an excuse is that 'the society tells us, so we will do that."
Listen, people don't care who texts first or how much time you wait before sending another text. If you want to send a text, you send it. Do this, and you'll realize that suddenly you're living a life with a lot less bullshit.
I dont do it because society tells me. If you read my take, you would know that I experimented myself and I decide to act in a way that I get the most results.
Oooh playing hard to get. Or either they are not talkative in general. Their X box or porn snapchat precedes you.
"Several guys would just not answer if I ever texted them first."
Congrats on learning how it feels to be a man in the dating world!
I don't get why in both cases you want a guy to only concentrate on you. We guys have a life as well as you girls. You'd only be a part of it, as well as us guys in yours. But guys like me don't even want to constantly think of you or be around you.
What? I am very confused how you got this impression. I do not want guys to inly concentrate on me... I wish I could explain why to you but I dont even know where you came up with this idea
"If boys liked me, they would put in the effort to basically 'chase' me." I did talk to a girl I was interested in, but I hated that shy behaviour. Later she called me a stalker because I was too "aggressive". That's why I don't 'chase' girls, also because this word reminds me of hunting. And girls are no prey to me, I want them as the girls they are. Simple as that.
I'm talking about "wanting the guys to only concentrate onme.." I don't want guys to be constantly thinking about me and my take didn't have anything to do with that
What if guys think you're not interested since you never text first? It goes both ways I think.
Please be the first to text sometimes. It can really push guys away when they feel like you don't care enough To text them first once in a while
Well its definitely your right to do that but if a guy feels the same way about it and wants to test whether you want him or not you'll be out of luck.
My mom says that you need to wait until they text you, but I do both