My Problem With Females Being " Just One Of The Guys"

[Wowgirl10q]

"I'm Just One Of the Boys"

Ever meet that girl who seems to only have guy friends? Her favorite thing to say is " I'm just one of the guys." That statement drives me crazy..

She's that girl who hangs out with the dudes during free time; or she'll ask a guy to teach her how to do something like shoot a basketball; or she will disappear late at night with another guy into the woods (they just "talked" ) of course. You know these girls - and so do I. But we tend to just dismiss them as shady or warn others to stay away. I personally am way too naturally fabulous and feminine to ever be grouped in with guys.

So, News Flash your not just one of the guys. I literally fight men for hours and hours each week doing MMA ( I get beat up a lot too).

lm not just one of the guys. I'm a female in a all male class I can out shoot most guys in a multitude of ways guns, cross-bow, darts ex...

I'm not just one of the guys. I'm a girl with a really good aim. I love full contact sports but, I'm still not just one of the guys I'm a girl who is very competitive. I go fishing, I drink whiskey, I even like to gamble. I'm not just one of the guys. No freaking way I am and I never will be.

Female's who love the phrase" I'm just one of the guys" is really saying this about herself.

I Struggle Relating With Other Girls.
for the most part, they tend to make friends only with the male species. Ask them why and you'll get a response like this: "I just struggle relating with other girls" or "I'm just more comfortable talking to guys - less drama" sound firmilar?

I Find Validity in Men.
In my opinion, I feel the primary problem with these girls it that they desperately want to be validated. It doesn't mean that they like every guy they hang out with. But they seem to want to know that they're acceptable to the opposite sex in some way.

I Will End Up Having No Close Friends.
Girls like this don't realize how much time they're wasting by investing so much in these male relationships. I'm not saying girls shouldn't befriend guys. But one day this girl will get married and she's foolish to think that her future husband will be ok with her continuing to spend so much time with "her boys."

Another messed up observation: there are some girls who struggle relating to other girls but don't have many guy friends because, well, men aren't attracted to them. So they end up having maybe one close guy friend and mask their disappointment with bitterness or anger towards men.

So, those are just a few of my problems with girls who tend to be" just one of the guys"
How about just be a girl?

[Reggieray]

Great take.

Do guys appreciate the fact that among other things, you like football, MMA, shooting, and action movies? Absolutely.

Do guys appreciate the fact that you're more direct and less likely to take offense? Of course.

... but no matter how much you may burp, swear, cuss, or shoot whiskey, you'll never be a guy.

Why? Simple.

Since you are a woman, we hold back.

Men, especially those of use that enjoy sports, shooting, fishing, getting a case of beer, and watching the game or ordering the fight, still constantly challenge each other. We give each other shit, wrestle, and box. We push each other do do dangerous shit. Sometimes that shit comes to actual blows, with the rest of your friends, refereeing the event, stopping the fight after a clear winner has emerged, but before (hopefully) anyone suffers permanent damage. Rather than hurting friendships, it brings us closer together; it's how we set our "healthy boundaries." Among men, no man gets an exemption, because we need to know we can count on him.

Ladies get an exemption, pure and simple. You never get the full force of a guy friend when you cross a line. He's not going to crack you across the face. You will never REALLY have to back your shit up. If there's a brawl, you don't count. Also, we've all been around the "One of the Guys" girls when she magically morphs back into being a girl. This usually happens when you stumble across something that "triggers" her. You can't just be a guy when it suits you, it just doesn't work that way.

[Wowgirl10q]

No most feel less masculin around me

[HereIbe]

Chicks who can shoot and fight are hawt!

[Wowgirl10q]

Yes Mr we try

[riverdale1234]

we can try :) xoxo

[lumos]

Another one is "I'm scared of the way society judges girls for being girls and therefore I'd rather distance myself from girly things and be one of the guys". You'll often hear these girls moan about how they don't like romance novels like twilight, boybands, makeup, clothes, "obsessing" over guys. As if a girl can't be a girl and just not like those things. It doesn't make them "one of the guys", it just means they have different interests. Society thinks it's embarrassing when girls like reading certain books, listening to certain music, experimenting with makeup and shopping because it's "icky low-quality girly stuff made for shallow bimbos". Not liking that stuff is fine, but I see way too many girls trying too hard to distance themselves from it because they think it'll make them special or "cool", or simply because they're scared of being associated with those labels.

[Wowgirl10q]

Yayy good answer miss

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

i like boy things. i like a few girl things, i have some what a sense of style, but boys are funner to hang with.

[devilish-cutie]

completely agreed, the core issue is that they think they are better than other women and that other women suck; and get male attention aka validation they need
i have nothing against those girls, i always think they are really pathetic
like you can make friends with both genders, dont generalize, when you think about it its totally sexsist

[Wowgirl10q]

Thanks

[devilish-cutie]

Tnx for mho!

by the way so many dislikes of my post o. O
Mus tbe from all the girls that are one of the boys
I wonder if they all hang together would make them still be one of the boys since they r all girls hmmm

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

I HAVE GIRLY FRIENDS! I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH GIRLS, BUT BOYS ARE MORE FUN! we get to hang out and ding dong ditch people and we have a hideout. There is nothing wrong with tomboys!

[devilish-cutie]

@IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN i never said there is anything wrong w tomboys
I think you guys missed the point of this my take
I have guys friends - nothing wrong w that
But girls that dont have female friends and look down on women and hang only with guys are another thing
When u say men are more fun you really do generalize
Like sure you dont hang with that geek guy that stadies everx day so such claims are so dumb to me how guys are more fun
Both genders xan be less or more fun depending on the individual person

[Iamosm1234567]

@IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN I think the way you phrase it "boys are more fun" is quite sexist. Im sure there are a lot of girls out there who don't just watch mean girls and watching make up tutorials everyday. There are many who like other interesting things such as ding dong ditch or whatever. I feel like u r just justifying urself by saying that boys r more fun to hang out with. U should ask urself if u ever tried to even find girls who have similar interests. Of course, making friends with guys r totally fine and u can have them as best friends. But excluding the other gender just because of that doesn't seem right.

[Tallcat]

I respect that this is your opinion and your take on the situation BUT Can i call this out to be a bunch of BS?

As a proud member of one of the guys, i actually LOVE being part of it and what you said in this TAKE is NOT true for all of these said ladies, I grew up around guys most of my life, not because i chose to be one of the guys from the start, it was because the other girls were too stuck up and snobbish to actually take me in as a "friend", the most loyal friends i have had and still have are all guys, and they don't see me as one of the guys or have less respect for me, they actually gained respect for me because i am a girl and i understand them and the way they act, if they burp, fart, drink, etc i join in and then compliment them and say nice one! if it comes to talking bad about women, i step in and play devils advocate saying "maybe she is but it's because of so and so" hell sometimes the guys help me with boy issues and i help them with girl issues, it's a two way street, as for the I Find Validity in Men. it's BS! some girls actually validate themselves but find guys more outgoing and fun where they can actually join in yet with girls it's all gossip and demeaning others but it's their way or the high way, guys actually listen! I don't invest anytime in the relationships i have with my guy friends, i pitch up and i'm me, there's no faking or trying to be someone i'm not to fit in, and just to be clear I FIT IN WITH BOTH GENDERS, I have close female friends and close male friends and we hold the highest respect for each other. The struggling to relate to other girls is understandable in all rights BUT have you thought that maybe they don't relate to us, i mean in junior high i was the only girl in the entire school who was into motocross, shooting, Rugby, Cricket and all the other hard core sports, hell i even arm wrestled with a few of my guy friends and I WON so does that make them respect me any less? Hell NO!

I must note that the guys i spend my time with don't see me differently other than a female friend, there's times where we've roughed it out in fighting but it's who we are, also please don't hate on things that you don't understand, there are MILLIONS of reasons why "one of the guys" type of girls actually chose to be with the guys instead of girls

[Wowgirl10q]

Yeah sure okay sure thing bro

[Anonymous]

You’re entitled to your opinions but I don’t really agree.
Well, I definitely do see eye to eye with guys more than women. I have one female friend, and that’s because she’s just the short Jewish version of me.
There does tend to be a lot of drama when it comes to women, I don’t enjoy helping them plot their revenge on a guy that ghosted them or whatever terribly unspeakable thing they did. When I’ve encountered this is the past I’m left thinking “oh my god, for fuck sake hide your crazy and start acting like a lady”
Guys don’t typically get all hung up on that shit. Or at least don’t come running to me to help them with it in a twisted revenge plot that could only come from a lifetime movie.
I don’t need validation, not from men or from women. (I suppose I can see your thinking here though)
I’m well aware and have been for a long time that I’m “acceptable” to men. I don’t need to surround myself with men to feel this way and furthermore I think that would be dumb as fuck to do, as I believe it would back fire if that was my goal because you don’t typically don’t think one of your boys is hot and you usually don’t want to fuck one of your boys.
Wasting time and not having anything to show for it in the end isn’t really a concern I have. My boyfriend, who would marry me tomorrow if I let him, trusts me. He trusts my judgment and he trusts my loyalty. He trusts me because I have proven time and time again that I’m worthy of that trust. He would never tell me I couldn’t be friends with my male friends now or after we’re married. He knows I wouldn’t allow anyone to go too far and he knows that anyone that showed less than the upmost respect for our relationship would be cut out like a cancerous tumor and I wouldn’t think twice about it.
I fish, I play basketball, I know how to fight. I laugh at fucked up or dirty jokes and tell my own.
I shoot guns and whiskey and I do it in pencil skirts and stilettos, I’m a girl and feminine but I can still be one of the guys. Hate me, don’t trust me I really don’t care. At the end of the day I’m very happy with my life, my friends and my choices and no ones opinion, aside from my family’s and my boyfriends will ever change that.

[Malik00]

All of your statements are dead wrong. I'm almost certain you will just dismiss me as being chauvanist or w/e, but...

In terms of relating to other women, frankly i hear the opposite. I find a lot of women who prefer hanging out with men over women, often find being around women to be frankly exhausting.
Lots of claims involve drama, underhandedness, making everything an issue. These same girls find guys more admirable to be around due to the fact that most men don't have time for Bullshit and just say straight up whats wrong.

You see it as wanting validity, i view it as earning respect. Specially in this day and age where a lot of women are content with being helpless and weak. Its not because she's just hanging out with men, its the fact that she's willing to put in the time and effort to keep up which is admirable.

No close friends? Really did it ever cross your mind that more tomboy like girls would end up coming into the fold and make friends with her?

Look Bottom line, its not that she isn't being a girl. She's just not being the kind of girl YOU want her to be. And if you can't respect that then you have no right to judge her. Period.

[Wowgirl10q]

Your not a chick sorry your understanding is surface

[Malik00]

Oh lovely I'm not a woman so my opinion doesn't matter... yet many like you seem to act like you know a men better then a man does... fucking hypocrite.

[Wowgirl10q]

I don't know anything about men but a big percentage are insain like women

[Wowgirl10q]

Many like me?
Guess I'm a stand out then 😉
Thank you bitter sir.

[Malik00]

Right I'm bitter because i call you out on bullshit. Sorry i don't make you feel like the most important person in the world and ACTUALLY try to treat you with respect rather then lie to you to stroke your ego. But i guess I'm the asshole here.

[Wowgirl10q]

No your bitter because your bitter
You got a lot to say for a fellow

[Wowgirl10q]

pretty much
And language please
Your here with all chicks
For some reason?

[Malik00]

But i thought you were suppose to be strong and independent, or are you telling me that you're so weak willed that a couple of bad words bother you?

[Wowgirl10q]

I have good vocabulary and mannors I don't need them

[Malik00]

Then i suggest you note how there are 3 women who currently agree with me.

[naijagurl]

I completely agree with you.

[Wowgirl10q]

I knew the feminst where coming
Welcome to the gender gap

[Zephyr_blossom]

@Malikoo you’re spot here! Well said! 👏🏻

[Malik00]

You've clearly never met a feminist

[Zephyr_blossom]

Nope. From what I observe I’m my friendship groups etc, people are generally pretty secure in their careers and lives now. No need for any of this BS tbh.

[Zephyr_blossom]

*in*

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

oh bitch, you just did it. leave men alone you sexist democrap. Men understand me too, learn to respect them before you get your ass beat by papa dumb fuck.

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

I'm not a fucking feminist. Your getting your panties in a twist. and your thinking. ya sure you don't got a screw loose hoe?

[Wowgirl10q]

@IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN I'm a therapist

[Schrodingerscat]

I've always been a tomboy and had interests that guys are into.

My best friends have been girls. That would be 2 of them. I don't have great experience with being friends with girls. It's true, many are quite dramatic than guys. I'm wary of befriending girls because of some bad experiences.

Also stark difference in things guys discuss and girls discuss
Guys: politics, tech, new research in our field, good movies , pop culture, offensive jokes

Girls: anecdotal experiences, drunk escapades, clothes, good movies, pop culture, books

I find guys topics more interesting. I can talk to most girls about - pop culture, books, movies. That's all.

Even in books, they mostly read romance and young adult. I can't discuss nuances of 1984, alienation in Catcher in The Rye and all that. I have had very engaging discussions with guys on these topics

Now, I am not saying they're are no exceptions. There are. I just don't come across them often, which is sad. I'd love to.

I have few friends, a lot of them are guys. Few are girls and my best friends in past have always been girls.

But guys are still easy to relate to, for me.

[Wowgirl10q]

Okay

[Anonymous]

Don’t get me wrong though. Not liking romantic stuff is a thing. I got sick of it and I still kinda do get sick of it despite being in a relationship. I like them but most of the time I don’t want to watch it. I like comedy

The only reason why I’ve had more guy friends is cause the female friends I knew in high school, they all left. Best friend cut off contact with us to marry her boyfriend, some weren’t friends, some were toxic (communication and jealousy problems) so they’re not no longer here etc. the guys I’ve initiated conversations with both girls and guys and the guys tended to want to keep in touch as friends. The girls seemed to be cool with the conversation but never asked for a Facebook or insta

The girls I knew genreally did suck. My high school best friend moved to another town. I was texting her and wondering why she never responded back. My brother ca, e out if his bedroom anf told me she was flirting with him. Another friend from high school saw me as competition and was jelous. Among that, if she was mad at you, she’d give you a silent treatment attitude and when you’d ask what’s wrong, she didn't speak. She roll her eyes and walked away. My other friend left us to marry her step dad. Another friend stopped talking to us over all. And my last female friend and I are still good.

Meanwhile my guy friends are still there. They haven’t changed.

Believe me I’ve been trying to make deep friendships with girls but it never works. My friendships with my guy friends aren’t deep either

[markscott]

Though a girl can never actually be just one of the guys, and a guy can never be just one of the girls, they can have very strong and meaningful friendships with guys, and be accepted into the group of guys. There are girls who use this type of relationship for not such good reasons, and there are girls who have these kinds of relationships with guys for very good reasons, and they work well. It all depends on the girl, her motivation, and the willingness of the guys to be accepting. I have a couple of very good female friends, that if they tried, could easily be part of a guys group, and fit in well.

[Midnight_Kiss]

We will have to agree to disagree.

I am referred to as one of the lads, several years ago in a form of banter, I was awarded my metaphorical penis which apparently gives me the right to vote.

I don't nor have I ever made friends based on their gender, it just turned out that i have almost all male friends and if I ever get married (big if there) i would in no way let my husband dictate who can and cannot befriends with especially since 90% of my male friends have been my friends since childhood ( my oldest male friend is a friend of 24 years)

[Wowgirl10q]

That's fine
What makes the world go round is agreements and disagreements

[NicknameShirt]

I always thought girls like that were off-putting. Because what I found is that they are "playing" manly, but have no grasp in what it really means to be a guy. Ofen overcompensating - embarrassing.
She can't participate in the male bonding or friendly competition.
Also girls like that who have a ton of "mates" are always testing them and it's like a sexual competition, because it's almost certain that at least 2 or 3 actually want her, and she KNOWS that.
I'd never want to date a girl like that.

[TonyMetal86]

I agree that a girl shall be a girl and i agree that a girl must love only her husband forever and i prefer that she ends all kinds of friendships with males...

But you got me confused, what are you trying tk say miss owl girl, because in a specific part you sounded like your battling with men and winning which means your better then males in what is supposed to be their sports or their manly things... in this part i bet to differ you... cause if your a true lady and feminine, you wouldn't sound like a feminist trying to show that your better then men...

Also in some parts you sounded like you hate guys and that a girl shall stay away from a male, while you know that a man is everything for s woman, in the end she's going to be married to a man and giving him her life and everything, that is love and making a beautiful family... so i don't actually know what your refering to!

Anyways i agree with you on some levels and disagree with you on others...

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

i have to give up my loved ones for another man? give me a break.

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

i don't want to HAVE kids i'll adopt, i'm not a fucking baby machine. i don't want to be feminine like your standards say, fuck off. I have many guy friends and my boyfriend LIKES them! so stfu and stop telling me what i have to be like for love.

[TonyMetal86]

@IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN who talked with you bitch? Are you insane? your blocked... don't have time for a scumbag like you

[DaddyRollingStone]

Girls can never be "one of the guys"

One of my friends has a girlfriend that tried to be one of the boys with us and we essentially ran her off unintentionally. Couldn't handle our banter or our humor, and she tried to police it. I've seen this happen before in other friend circles as well.

Sorry ladies if you can't use the n word causally then you can't be one of the boys 😎

[Wowgirl10q]

Yes girl yes...

[bubbatxman]

My wife was raised by her father, her Mother was an manipulative alcoholic bitch that she just avoided. Her stepmother showed up “trying to be nice” about a year before she met me. She never really fit in with the girls. She hated fashion, dressing up, heels, makeup, etc. In high school, she ran with the girls butwas super uncomfortable with them and all the cattiness. I was a breath of fresh air. A man like her father, because her father chose a new wife at a time when she felt she needed more support not less. Her mother expected her to join a sorority. She did not. We now have teenage kids and while she wears makeup and occasionally heels, she still is more comfortable in shorts or jeans or workout clothes. She has learned to play “the woman game” as she calls it, she still would rather home in the woods, than go to a gala.

[bubbatxman]

I agree that girls cannot be “one of the guys” because of the romance and sex dynamic, but, there are girls who grow up with more male influence in their lives than female and they are special people to be loved and appreciated. I love my “tomboy”. We just went through the stepmother’s funeral and even though she did have a few teary moments, she was rational and local through all the preparations, and was an emotional rock to her dad. Our kids have grown up tough and successful because that is who we are, and who her father is. No sympathy, put on your big boy pants and go get it done.

[HarleyQuinn21]

I think you’re just jealous and insecure. Obviously being “one of the guys” is just a saying and not meant to be taken literally, but you do anyway because you don’t like that the girl has a bunch of guy friends. People can have as many friends of any gender that they want. Get over it and grow up.

[Lovi87]

I have guys friends as I don't really bond well with girls either.
They're bitchy and just end up talking behind your back.
I have one girl friend who I've grown up with.
And even she can be a bitch at times, but I put up with her
because she's helped me a lot when I needed someone.
So did my guy friends. They've been sitting in my inbox and
at bars with me, letting me vent out to them about all sorts.
They cheer me up, make me smile and laugh and just help
me to enjoy life again.

[Stockton]

Why does it upset you that there are girls who different than you and have differant values than yours. Are they assualting you? How are you being harmed by them? You should probably learn some tolerance.

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

ik. i just want to hang out with my best friends... BOYS!

[litty]

My ex had a lot of guy friends, who drifted away when they accepted I was there to stay. Seems like they were all in denial. One would say it's customary to kiss on the cheek and hold hands, and then when I left a party he gave me the most serious expression to "make her happy." Another showed his true face when I was in the picture by starting to compare himself to me even before I met him. Another guy never brought his "GF" around, and wanted to platonically cuddle. Point is, it's not just the girl, but also the guys that allow the girl to hang out with them for whatever reason.

[ManOnFire]

I think it bothers you that these kinds of girls are able to form friendships with guys, and better ones. You don't like that so you're downplaying it as them being wrong in some way.

[HarleyQuinn21]

That’s a great answer. It’s so true.

[ManOnFire]

@HarleyQuinn21 Yeah, whenever I hear females like this whining about other females who have mostly guy friends, it just says to me that she's insecure because other women know how to bond with men and she doesn't.

[ManOnFire]

@Wowgirl10q I think you need to work that out.

[Benedek38]

I feel a bit (fucking hell, a LOT) of humble bragging...

[Wowgirl10q]

Humble bragging
If the Truth sounds like bragging I guess I'm doing well

[ronaldo75]

Women can do as they please but my main problem with these type of women is two fold.

1. They piss and complain when they see and hear men acting like pigs. Farting, burping, pushing each other around, making sexual jokes. I've heard this countless times. Men are gross compared to women, if you dont like it then fuck off.

2. This is the big one. Women who one of the guys HATE the fact that men stop viewing them as girly and stop trying to date or get into relationships with them. If a guy has seen a girl act like a typical dudebro one too many times he will stop being attracted to her on a romantic level. Yeah he might try to have sex with her here and there but it won't be romantic.

[IRISHPOTATOCAPRICORN]

your very wrong about that.

[JimRSmith]

I think there's some very valid observations in there!

[Wowgirl10q]

@JimRSmith thank you smartest man on this site

[DizzyDesii]

I’d never say im one of the guys. I just dont care for girls. They piss me off too much and i honestly rather hangout with a bunch of hot guys. I dont hang alone eith them outside of work/school. Usually just grouped up at work. Some prob friend me in hopes they’ll get laid. But they know im not that type, so i enjoy the good laughs we have. Plus i like helping them get a girlfriend. I could be a relationship counselor ii believe