What it's like being a maladaptive daydreamer

StrawberryShake

First here is the definition: "What Is Maladaptive Daydreaming? Sometimes known as daydreaming disorder, maladaptive daydreaming describes a condition where a person regularly experiences daydreams that are intense and highly distracting — so distracting, in fact, that the person may stop engaging with the task or people in front of them."

And I should note that:

"Experts still do not know what causes maladaptive daydreaming, and there's no official method of diagnosis. While it has been linked to social anxiety or previous trauma, people may develop maladaptive daydreaming without any prior trauma"

  • Other conditions that people have reported alongside maladaptive daydreaming include:

depression

anxiety disorders

post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)

OCD

ADHD

bipolar disorder

borderline personality disorder

dissociative disorder

psychosis

I have been clinically diagnosed with Anxiety, depression and OCD.

  • ."What are the symptoms of maladaptive daydreaming?

extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots, and other detailed, story-like features, reflecting a complex inner world

daydreams triggered by real-life events

difficulty completing everyday tasks

difficulty sleeping at night

an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming

performing repetitive movements while daydreaming

making facial expressions while daydreaming

whispering and talking while daydreaming

daydreaming for lengthy periods (up to several hoursTrusted Source)

significant distress about daydreaming

awareness that the internal fantasy world is different from external reality"

I've never admitted it until now, because I've been so ashamed. Starting at the age of 10, I would act out my daydreams just by talking (no physical movements or anything)

But I would talk them out with my sister. It's sounds extremely weird but this was a typical night for us:

It was time for bed (we shared a room) and once the light was out, we started talking out an elaborate story, pretending to be the characters. Like the whole dialogue of our own little movie until we were satisfied with the ending and we'd go to bed. Sometimes it would last up to 4 hours.

That's how intricate our stories were.

Every day I had that to look forward to, I was so excited for bedtime to come, so we could act out my daydreams.

It became obsessive, to the point where if one of us was separated and we couldn't act it out that night, I would sob for hours.

What its like being a maladaptive daydreamer

Continuing to this day, I find coping with my maladaptive daydreaming the biggest struggle for me yet. I hate my life, my biggest joy comes from acting out those daydreams of lives and moments I really do want to experience.

My sister doesn't want to do it anymore. I guess how can I blame her? She's happy with her life. But my one way of coping came to an abrupt halt after 7 years of doing it almost every.single.night of my life. Crazy to think about.

After we stopped, I plummeted into the worst depression of my life. Feeling su*c!dal on a regular. I still don't know how to cope with it.

What its like being a maladaptive daydreamer

Whenever I get the chance, I lay in bed for hours listening to music, fantasizing on my own. It's depressing.

What it's like being a maladaptive daydreamer
14 Opinion