The “EX”…dun dun dun (cue eye roll, shaking of the head and grunt of frustration)… we’re told not to speak with any regard of that person and we always dread the topic when it surfaces (whether that be in conversation or due to an incident). Whether it’s your ex or the ex of your significant other, this is always a sour subject and it can cause a lot of drama in a relationship if it’s not handled properly.
The following 5 ways will help you deal with that harassing ex and help reduce (ideally, avoid) problems in your current relationship:
1. Change ALL your passwords
One of the first things that you should do when a relationship ends (once you’ve dealt with the anger, confusion and sadness first, of course) is to change any and all passwords that you shared or that are known by your ex-girlfriend. There is no reason for her to have access to any of your passwords or to have information about your life anymore. If you don’t, you are enabling them to still keep tabs on you, bully any and all women that they think you may be talking to/interested in and give them information to use against you while harassing you. Don’t be lazy when it comes to changing your passwords. If your ex-girlfriend has any passwords to your banking or credit card accounts, don’t be surprised if you find large amounts of cash withdrawals and purchases at Gucci, Dior, Louis Vuitton and Mercedes!
2. Be honest with your current girlfriend!
One of the main reasons couples fight about exes is because there isn’t upfront honesty when the situation first arises. Sometimes men feel that if they don’t tell their girlfriend that there ex is bothering them, then it won’t be an unnecessary concern for their girlfriend. WRONG. If an ex comes back into the picture, for any reason and you don’t say something, a female will assume it’s because you have something to hide (these assumptions include that there may be something still going on, you’re not ready to completely let go, etc.). In order to avoid this headache, tell your current girlfriend that your ex is still texting, calling, etc. If the ex contacts you while your with your current girlfriend and she asks you who it is, DO NOT LIE! It’s incredibly wise to tell your girlfriend before she finds out herself… and she will.
Don’t be lazy when it comes to changing your passwords.
3. Send a Message
Send a message, both literally and figuratively. Regardless of how your previous relationship ended, you have to communicate to your ex that it’s over and there’s no chance of you two getting back together. You don’t have to be a jerk about it, but you have to send a message to your ex, so you don’t ruin your current relationship. Whether it’s through a text, a Facebook message or a phone call, make sure you say nothing negative about or to her, but make it clear that she has to stop contacting you because it will never make a difference (harsh, but true); express to her that your relationship is over, you’ve moved on, you’re happy (that one stings for any ex) and there’s no chance of the two of you ever getting back together. Request that she not only accepts this, but respects it. Stay calm and don’t argue with her. There’s no reason to go back and forth with an ex, you can ignore all further contact because you’ve said your piece (maturely) and no more attention needs to be given to the matter. If she’s not getting any reaction or attention, she will eventually give up or end up in the nut house.
4. Do NOT Meet Up With an EX…EVER.
No matter what reason your ex gives to try to see you, do not meet up with her. Hopefully, you’ve returned each other’s things; if not, mail them to each other (even if it means paying the expenses for them. $9.95 for shipping is a lot better than a headache, a hassle and a whole lot of drama). If there’s an instance where you run into each other, ignore her and if she approaches you, walk away without making a scene (on your part, you can’t control if she goes bat crap crazy).
If you are in a new relationship and you go to see your ex, expect a fight with your current girlfriend… or the silent treatment… or a pillow on the couch where you’ll sleep for the night or week.
5. Block Her
If your ex bullies your current girlfriend or continues to harass you, you can always block her from all means of communication with you. Block her phone number, her access to any social media profiles, etc. If this doesn’t work and she begins hassling you and your current girlfriend from other people’s accounts and phone numbers, then you can consider changing your phone number or if necessary, getting a restraining order. You and your girlfriend’s safety are most important and if you feel that particular measure of action is necessary, do it. There’s no shame in protecting yourself and your girlfriend.
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