She said she'll message me, but hasn't?

Had a great first date and kissed.

Last week where we work, I asked if she was free at the weekend but she said she was busy but free weekend after. Day after I spoke to her about mexican food and offered place/date/time but she replied "Yeah I'll message you about it". She was sat on the floor sorting a shelf out and seemed busy though.

Anyway, it's been four days and I've not heard from her but she has used social media since. I'm a little confused as "I'll message you about it" sounds a lot like the "I'll let you know" excuse which usually means they're not interested.. But she did mention being free the weekend after.

Is she playing hard to get or trying not to act too keen? She is a shy girl apparently, but I'm wondering whether to message her tomorrow "Hey, I know we talked about it a little last week but would you still like to get something to eat Saturday evening? to see if she agrees or I get an excuse?

Paris13

Master Age: 39

669 opinions shared on Girl's Behavior topic.

Although the 'First date, First Kiss' with her May have come off as 'Great,' it appears to me that she is somehow putting you on her pay no mind list Now somehow with "I'll message you about it," And-----It's been four days. If I were That Into you, I would Certainly be pushing a few buttons to make plans to hang out again, especially if the Fist time' went as well as you say.
If she is 'Using social media since,' and not getting back to you, then she may be just making Lame "excuses' by Putting you off, week after week. And when tomorrow comes---It never comes.
Send her a Quick text, simple and friendly: "Hi_how are you? Still up for Mexican?" Wait for her Reply. Don't do anything else by pushing any more of Your Own buttons on your end. Let's wait and see how "keen' she really is by pushing a few of her own. Put this 'shy girl' to the test... Then rest...
Good luck. xx

Asker

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She did suggest the weekend after that she'll be free though and I've had her smiling towards me, etc. Will message tomorrow and see what I get as an excuse or no reply will tell me. I'm going to Facebook message her though so I can at least see she has seen it.

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Paris13

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Good idea... That's all you can do... I just find that four days and No reply is a bit much, so do what you need to do to find out what is up... I do hope it works out to your advantage... xx

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Asker

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I did forget to mention this in the opening question, so I apologise. I've been talking to a work mate who's known her since she was 12 and he says she's a very shy girl and her sister says she lacks confidence with guys who are interested in her. Her last and only relationship was last year and that lasted two weeks. I think messaging her will get me my answer, but our first date went incredibly well with her touching me/all the signs you'd get of a girl interested in you so if I get an excuse/no response, I'll be really confused what's happened to cause that!

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Paris13

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It was a R3ed flag for me when she said "I'll message you," and 4 days has gone by.. And with the great time and kiss she displayed, I don't think she was that shy with you. Maybe I am jumping the gun, so let's just wait and see what happens when UU send her a message... Just send One through something and see what she does... And many girls do get a change of heart, for just the sake of you being curious. I've done it myself with guys... Just part of life, don't feel offended if it is... But for now, let's be optimistic to at least a reply... Just simple, ask about Mexican? And friendly, nonchalant... xx

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Asker

+1 y
Sent her a message and less than two hours later she replied with "Hey, we don't have to go somewhere to eat, I don't mind just hanging out or something, I'm not really a go for a meal kind of girl haha ". I'm thinking of saying "I reckon secretly you're the sloppy eating type! I'll think of something we can do and surprise you. Meet you near work?" if that sounds okay? Is the first part fine? Want to tease her a little bit

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Paris13

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Great news! Glad she came through for you, sweetie. I like your style, but leave off the "I recon secretly you're the sloppy eating type," just in case, don't want to take any chances of ruining a good message that you've been waiting to hear.. So happy she answered with a great reply and Faster... It worked out Okay after all, and have fun on your next date... xx

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Asker

+1 y
Thank you! Yeah, I left the sloppy eating thing out. It's something I could say in person with a smirk on my face though, but on a message she could take it either way. Think I'll surprise her with bowling as it is fun.

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Paris13

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Great, sounds like a game plan.. I think once you get to know one another More, you can really start joking, not worrying about her 'Choking,' if you know what I mean... She had me a bit worried for a few days, but she has come around full circle and has proven herself to be the date mate from the first nite... xx

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Asker

+1 y
It was very contrasting though.. One day she says "Busy this weekend but free the next" which suggests interest but the next day she says "I'll message you about it" but doesn't which sounds like the typical excuse of "I'll let you know". My work mate said that if she would have brushed me off, it's probably because she was initially moving to go to University outside of our area and was probably worried about that. Although she has doubted about moving away to University and keeps saying to me that she's not sure if she'll move away, that she may have to stay at college for another year if results don't go her way, her mum wants her to stay, etc.

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Paris13

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Oh, Now I am getting it.. Okay, More facts After the facts... Yes, I felt something was a bit 'Unusual' here with the 4 day gap and the weekend wheel and deal, which is why I said to look for signs of changing her mind. Okay, so with more facts which I now know here, for maybe I could have gotten right to the point in the beginning, is her decision and confusion of the moving away and maybe didn't know if she should start up with something with LD in mind... Hang in there, you have a good start... LD can be hard, but worked out.. I had married a man in Egypt and lived out there off and on, and of course Middle East problems more now, big viruses, etc.. have caused us to split for awhile... Bit it can be done if two people work hard at it... Just feel things out, and open convo always helps... xx

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Asker

+1 y
I apologise for that, I've rewritten that question so many times it's sometimes hard getting everything in the word count haha. She once told me right when we first met over a month ago that her best friends are staying around the area, in which one is her twin sister who's going to a University locally. She has a good motif to stay, but I'm hoping it isn't influenced by me not to sound arrogant, but I hope she stays because she wants to stay! If she does move away, I will visit her/keep in touch if she wants to. Thanks for your help, much appreciated.

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Paris13

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Oh, you're most welcome, glad to be here for you... yes, although LD can be difficult, for I know this better than anyone, believe me, it can be achieved... But start out slow, and now that she has responded, keep things going where----she won't be able to either leave your side or won't want to ever just leave you OUT of her life... Wishing you good luck... xx

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Asker

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Got a message from her two hours ago at 11pm saying "Hey, I'm really sorry but I can't make it tomorrow, something's come up, can we rearrange for another time? I'm so sorry". Should I reply something like "That's fine. When are you free next?" but I don't want to sound needy.. Does it sound needy?

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Paris13

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I just got back from my weekend trip from my mom and dad's upstate and just saw this... Just saw this... Okay, so she backed out, huh? Tell her okay, and tell her to let you know when she can make it. I hope I wasn't wrong about her from the start. It's a pattern starting.

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