As a guy, I don't want to have sex all the time. Especially at work. So when a girl flirts with me and I ask her to stop as I am not interested, they don't seem to take no for an answer and start becoming more and more sexually aggressive.
Why can't some women accept the fact that some guys just want to be left alone sometimes 😭😢😞 it is very frustrating and additional stress I don't need at work. And my manager thinks it's funny and I should count myself lucky 🙈
Girls, why do some of you become more sexually aggressive when denied by guys?
First, take a look at it from the bright side. A woman is expressing an interest in you. Yes, time and circumstance are not ideal, but you do need to consider how many lonely men are out there who would love to have the offers of companionship that you are finding to be annoying.
Not for nothing is the suicide rate among men higher than women and is rising. Studies have found that loneliness among men is at epidemic levels.
This is NOT to suggest that you are wrong. Indeed, you have a point. Rather it is merely to point out that what you are, in effect, taking for granted is something that many other men are desperate to have and need. (As an aside, speaking of sex specifically, studies show that men who do not have sex regularly - though the data is unclear about how frequent is "regularly" - tend to be more aggressive, irritable, more easily distracted, accident prone and more easily depressed and suicidal.)
Again, this is NOT to say that you are wrong. You are not. At the very least there are questions of appropriate conduct in the workplace, timing and all the rest. Rather, it is to point out that many men are literally dying for that sense of being desired and wanted and companionship that you are taking for granted.
That said, the women involved are also making a mistake that all people are prone to. Namely, it is not what we want to say. It is, rather, what we want the other person to hear.
They express an interest - be it in sex or merely a date or whatever. You, I assume politely and diplomatically turn them down. They hear not "NO," but rather "later" or "maybe," and so they persist to show you continued desire. Which in their minds, because they desire you, they assume means that at some level you desire THEM. So they persist and get more aggressive.
Please note, ironically, that this means that there is an obligation on YOUR part to speak your mind not just politely, but firmly. This gets dicey as you want to maintain good manners and a comfortable work environment and good relations with your co-workers. However, by being too diplomatic, you invite more of the same problem.
It is not an easy balance to strike. However, it is incumbent upon you to strike it while maintaining a professional decorum.
Next, they become more aggressive because it is a part of evolutionary instinct. However, that instinct - while it still exists - is more varied and complicated by time and education and upbringing and individual personalities.
In evolutionary terms, the human male's natural instinct is to mate with as many females as possible. The female to mate with the alpha male - the one with the healthiest sperm to make healthy babies and then to find food for mom and baby and to ward off rival males and predators.
The woman finds you to be the alpha male - to your credit, I might add - and she assumes that you want sex because, frankly at an irreducible level, you are hard wired that way. So she persists. However, because you are more than the sum of your natural instincts, you don't react as predicted.
This turns the natural female/male dynamic on its head. She ends up pursuing you - assuming that you want sex even though, because of whatever combination of factors, you don't. However, she persists because she operates on the premise of the stereotype - one fairly rooted in evolution - but you do not meet that stereotype.
Again, her intentions are good if her methods are crude. The answer being that you must make your position explicit - as politely as possible BUT AS FIRMLY AS NECESSARY. (Emphasis added.)
As to your manager, he/she in an American context would be risking a serious lawsuit. In that context he/she would be charged with maintaining a hostile work environment. With British law I cannot be sure, but at a minimum you need to lay down the law good and hard that he/she needs to step in or you will file a grievance over his/her head.
Moreover, be honest. Your reluctance is a bit of the blip in the stereotype of the male curve. Again, nothing wrong with that, but the women involved are probably more than a bit flummoxed by your behavior. Also, probably hurt insofar as any person is apt to take rejection hard as a reflection upon themselves. That makes them feel inadequate and so they - in ten thumbed fashion - try harder.
Beyond that, you need to stop overthinking this. People, with the best of intentions, say and do dumb and inappropriate things. It happens. Not the end of the world and as you get older you learn to manage it better.
True, I like the attention sometimes but not when I am busy working, because I need to focus.
Yes I have noticed that when work stress increases I have far less sex with my NSA women, down to only once a day or something as I have HSD.
I usually just act friendly and try to drop hints that they're just friends to me. But it doesn't help that I'm naturally quite a nice, happy, bubbly and helpful guy at work that just wants to see women happy. I feel I care too much for my own good sometimes.
I haven't been very firm, rather nice about it as I don't want to sour work relationships.
Wow that is a very helpful insight into the evolutionary state of mind. And yes, at work I prioritize my work over the hot women on my floor, otherwise I'd spend my whole day looking at beautiful women. I don't mind having that job but I'd get fired 🙈.
I am quite reluctant, yes. In their defence 90% of it is because I want to get on with my work and 10% of it is because it is very unusual for women to behave in this way. My lack of interest in sex with them drives them mad and I quite enjoy seeing them react to my rejection. It is not normal, but then again, nor am I.
Thanks for your kind comment and by the way, you are VERY normal. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. It makes perfect sense in context.
It is just that you may have to be a bit more forceful - not on the first round, so to speak - in rejecting someone. It is not easy and it speaks VERY well of you that you don't want to hurt feelings.
Still, if nothing else, leaving your sex drive aside, you have an obligation to your employer to focus on your work. So on that you are also acting correctly.
By the way, I WOULD make clear to your employer than he or she needs to take charge. Again, i don't know British law, but in an American context your employer would be begging for trouble in the form of one massive lawsuit.
Anyhow, don't be so hard on yourself. I hope it all works out and best of luck.
Go for it, it is exciting and dangerous, so bend her over and have a quicky. LOL LOL. Amongst the best rush ever, I did it when someone walked into the next office. Finish hurry pull up pants, be quiet, and wait for a while then sneak out... LOVED IT.
I think some girls take it as a challenge, then it becomes like a conquest. Some girls just want to change your mind, "well why not me?" Kind of thing. Some girls just don't know how to accept/handle rejection. There's probably other patterns of thought I haven't heard of or thought of myself, but anyways, if you're being sexually harassed at work that really isn't funny and your boss should take it seriously in my opinion. I hope it is possible for you to resolve that situation so it stops happening.
Both males and females can't understand each other 100%. They go by the information on google instead if listening to each other and copromise, talk out and understand. If she can't understand that sometimes you just are not in the mood or horny as she is, then she doesn't get you well, just as you dont get her well either. Maybe she just wants affection and miss you. Be clear folks!!
If you say you are uncomfortable and say no, as a realistic person, that would be my cue to just try and be friends if I was a single woman. I was never the aggressive sort romantically though. Men would tell me they like me first normally and/or pursue me, so I can't really understand going after a guy who is blatantly disinterested! It's out of character for me.
These women were never taught what self- worth really means and how important it's for a woman to have it, and not just chase every unworthy guy around.
So many men are , you have to look for the right one, and now these men are like gem that are very hard to find nowadays unfortunately , so women shouldn't chase every man just because their vagina wants 'em.
No , because as you claimed , they will be "disgusting shameless sluts" , and men don't want to settle down with sluts , so if a woman is honorable, pure and dignified , she will get a partner of her own status , but if that is not what she wants , then she shouldn't complain about the consequences she might get when she finally decides to settle down , because no man wants to settle down with a loose, used and STD filled vagina.
What if I realized I was being hypocritical, and by doing so I was insulting women like yourself and @Apple1996? What if I like both of you and don't feel like running away from this argument?
I agree with the latter about loose women. You reap what you sow I guess. In which case I will meet a hypersexual nurturing woman who is confident and wants many kids. Now @Apple1996, where can I find a woman like that?
you weren't insulting me as i have never had any sexual encounters with any men as i'm a full hymened virgin , a virgin in all holes. Anyhow , what bothers me are players /ladies men thinking they are worthy enough for me to give them attention and be with them , no , i'm free to have preferences , and my preference is clean dicks , and not very used , STD , holding ones , thank u.
Fully hymened virgin? Wtf😂😂😂 hymen doesn't means being virgin, just get through some education, many girls doesn't even have hymen from birth and many get it off during sports, so better understand what's right rather being some patriarchal person imposing the imaginary prestige of being virgin, you can fantasize yourself as a sealed bottle (object), but other girls aren't a bottle (object)
Women die for male attention and desire they worth themselves according to that. When you reject her she feels unwanted, ugly, worthless. Women can't admit but they want to be wanted by men, they want men desire them sexually.
That girl only meets you in office, logically she will flirt with you in office. Just give bet some time in breaks, and she will be happy. And if u don't want to continue relationship, just say it to her.
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