Why dont women like getting hit on?

[Anonymous]

You know I find it weird how some women can come and complain about how they are catcalled so much but at the same time, they like post themselves on social media for validation like this site for example.

Any women who says they hate being catcalled is just lying out there ass. Deep down you like the attention because it makes you more confident.

Or do you want the other option of not getting any attention at all from others and grow up insecure?

When I see women here complain about men always approaching them weirdly I start to cringe because these women act like they dont like that type of attention

Updates

+1 y

I'm done talking for today

[Darknut]

I often wonder if women think that you're gonna hit on them. For example, getting our oil changed. You're sitting in there with her just the two of you. Awkward quiet. You have no intention as you are just waiting to be done. Still you have it running through your head I bet this chick thinks I like her. Meanwhile she's racking her brain. Omg he's cute but I'm not saying anything because that looks needy, and at the same time you dont want him to approach because you don't feel like being hit on because after all you're just there for an oil change and can't control the environment you're in (uneasy) so you'll reject the guy and leave. Only to realize later in hindsight you should have listened to the voice to strike up conversation see where it went. Happens more than we care to admit.

[lcknm]

At first getting all that attention sounds nice, but then it starts when you're 12, from adult who are fully capable of physically overpowering you, it never stops, and makes you feel unsafe over what they can and are willing to do to you.

[Asker]

Some solutions: dont look your best in public, avoid going alone at places at night, avoid going to remote areas

I know for a fact a lot of women would rather want that attention then to growing up and thinking they are ugly

[lcknm]

It doesn't matter where you are or how you're dressed, it's going to happen.

[Asker]

And your not wrong but doing that lowers the chances.

Dont be dumb and be self aware so your not getting raped

If your in a bad neighborhood, dont go places alone and dont look so great.

[lcknm]

It doesn't matter when it is, where you are, or how you look, it's going to happen.

[Asker]

But there's a way to accommodate lol. You gotta find a way to accommodate around it. You can't keep making excuses

[lcknm]

No one should have to change their behavior because of the terrible people out there, as a man I don't have to, and women shouldn't have to either.

[Asker]

No one should but that's how it is. You can't rely on this pity, gotta get up and do something.

And yes they have to change because of terrible people or they will suffer consequences

I'm not gonna be in a crime filled neighborhood and go out in something skimpy and then once I'm abused I'll say,

"I'm not entitled to change my behaviour because of this"

The damage happened already and now all ur gonna do is repeat this phrase, what do u expect to happen?

Nothings gonna change. Some men will still be rapist but thing is, if u know a way to lower the chance, why not just do it instead of saying

"I dont need to be controlled or change my behaviour for my own safety"

[lcknm]

What if they live in a crime filled neighborhood and can't afford to move out? Even if they dress as conservatively as possible it'll still happen.

[Asker]

Then it happened and you got stupidly unlucky.

No ones denyi mg that it doesn't happen even if ur not dressing skimpy, but if u can lower the chance, lower it.

This can be applied to murder to.

Ur in a crime filled neighborhood where murder is rampart, even if u like going outside, ur gonna have to stay indoors most of the time. But u can still get murdered

Nothing is a perfect guarantee. These things just help lower the chances, not erase them

[lcknm]

Most murders happen indoors, most rapists are someone the victim knew

[Asker]

How exactly do we know if that's true, because where I'm living, the statistics your saying is clearly false. All the murders that happen in my neighborhood are done outside through shootings.

How am I sure your saying a accurate statistic?

[lcknm]

www.unodc.org/.../...illing_of_women_and_girls.pdf page 19

[babecakes3]

Half the guys that catcall are extremely ugly, low life men that think making noises at women will make her want to fuck them. You're obviously one of them since you can't seem to understand that catcalling is disrespectful. Women like respectful attention. We put ourselves out there for attention when we want it. If we don't want attention fuck off. It's not that hard to understand. Guys who are respectful can get women without catcalling. simple.

[Asker]

Yeah because a 15 year old is catcalling women, nice assumption with no proof

[babecakes3]

Its not impossible for a 15 year old to catcall. It does not matter what age you are catcalling can come from anyone. Yes i'm assuming you either catcall or don't see a problem with catcalling which is essentially the same. You're condoning it which makes you okay with it. Ask your mom these questions and see what she says to you.

[thegirlfromthething]

Timing matters. If she posts a picture of herself online she clearly wants people to pay attention to her at that moment. If she’s just going about her day and random guys bother her, she’s not asking for attention at that moment.

[Asker]

But most of the girls here are always complaining that they aren't approached by strangers

[Asker]

So what do you want? Validation online or validation outside?

[thegirlfromthething]

Some girls want to be approached in public certain days and others don’t. You can’t really tell the difference though until you actually talk to them.

[thegirlfromthething]

It depends on the person and what kind of mood she’s in at the moment.

[Asker]

What mood? wouldn't someone in a bad mood want a compliment, I dont understand.

[thegirlfromthething]

Some people are like that, and others want space when they’re in a bad mood. Sometimes people feel like socializing and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’re in the mood to be approached and sometimes they aren’t. Attention from the opposite sex isn’t always welcome even if it’s supposed to be complimentary or well-intentioned. And it’s especially not welcome when it’s crass and aggressive, as catcallers and other men who approach can often be.

[joyjoy123]

You realize that catcalling is a type of sexual harassment right? Nobody wants that. And catcalling always happens when the women are just doing their business walking. Meaning they are not there looking for anything. Posting something is different.

[Liz_thorne]

Dude, I'd rather get no attention at all then being exclusively approached by disrespectful assholes

[Asker]

Are you sure? Be honest with yourself. I mean you have a profile picture of yourself here. You obviously want people here to notice your look

[Liz_thorne]

Yes, I want to people to know how I look, that does not imply that I want to be disrespected. It does not imply that attention is my main focus in life. It doesn't even imply that I want people to think I pretty. It only implies that I want people to know how the person they talk to looks.

[Asker]

But you want someone to notice you, so you like attention. If you didn't want the attention from guys, you wouldn't care how you look.

It doesn't have to be your main focus, but once in a while you at least want someone to notice your effort in your looks.

It's the same way for guys, there's no point in hiding this.

We can sit here and argue about this, but behaviour irl is just gonna play out.

[Liz_thorne]

I never said I didn't like attention, everyone likes attention. I said, that I'd rather have to deal with getting no attention at all than it being exclusively negative, disrespectful attention.

Everyone likes respectful compliments, no one likes being shouted at. That's my point here

[Asker]

Yeah, I mean negative attention is always bad, but catcalling disrespectful?

And if it is, how? I dont understand.

Do women not like getting complimented on their looks, I mean it's acceptable on Instagram, snapchat, Facebook, but when it's real life it's a problem

[Liz_thorne]

I think there's a disconnect in what's meant when people say catcalling. I don't mind getting approached irl if it's respectful and kind. If I get approached direktly and not whistled or yelled at from some street corner I will with most certainty be very flattered and enjoy the conversation.

But that's not what I personally would consider catcalling. Catcalling for me and many other women is having some group of dudes whistle at me or yell things like 'damn I'd like to fuck that' (and I swear that line is not made up, I got it a few weeks ago). Stuff like that isn't only rude but makes me feel incredibly unsafe. And I think it's fair of me to criticise that behavior.

[Asker]

Well that's definitely disrespectful and makes people feel unsafe. Men like that are bad, but even if it's bad some girls would most likely think later about it, especially if they dont usually get that attention or if they felt insecure

[Liz_thorne]

Some girls might, I'd suspect most dont. And I obviously can't talk for anyone but I'll talk for me when I say, that I'd rather live with no attention then exclusively that kind.

[Asker]

Interesting. So ud take catcalling but as long as it isn't in a disrespectful way.

I do realise that being catcalled by a group of guys is intimidating, perhaps I meant in a approach

[Liz_thorne]

Yeah sure. If someone wants to approach me in a non-threatening way to give me a compliment that's super sweet and it'll probably brighten up my day

[outside_Toronto]

Women love getting hit on. The stipulation is, they guy needs to be attractive in their eyes.
If they think the guy is attractive - they can't get enough of it
Not attractive - he's a creepy pervert who should be charged with harassment

[Asker]

Seems about right here.

[Anonymous]

Feminists are like that. For some reason they believe all men are evil rapists, and that all men are creepy..

[Asker]

Recently there was a feminist who wants to sue a guy for saving her life from drowning.

Clown world

[Dchrls78104]

I've been ridiculed for being a virgin and not hitting on women!

[Chemera]

Because you guys plays with our hearts and that really hurts like fucking hell