Why are us women so jealous of one another?

[Anonymous]

I was previously working at a Starbucks before all of this Virus stuff took over. On my last day of work a customer who was with his girlfriend at the time, after placing their order and receiving it, he returned to the counter and asked me for a fork and spoon. I gave it to him. He thanks me but his girlfriend looks at me. Rolls her eyes and as they walk away all I hear is “Why were you all up in her face like that?” And all he did was ask for something simple lol.

[The1Guy]

Everyone is jealous. Not just women. Women are jealous of each other more than of men because you compare like to like. I am not jealous of Einstein, because I'm not even a scientist, but that asshole Joe from work, who got a promotion is a different story. In the family you get sibling rivalry only when the age gap between them is a couple of years at most. And I'm usually not jealous of women, because men and women value different things. I might be jealous of Joe's hot wife though.

I would like to add my own question: what are the things, that we SHOULD be jealous of? Is it really worth getting jealous of Joe's promotion or hot wife, or Cassie's hot new boyfriend or purse?

I think, that especially these days, when COVID-19 is doing it's good work on our economy, it's finally time to think about it. How valuable are those things really?

Mabie we, as a global society, should start to value different things, more meaningful things and as a consequence, be jealous of the store worker, who comes to work despite the danger of getting sick and dying, the medical worker, the sanitarians, seeing that their work was always very important, especially today, the doctors, who risk their lives, the police and army patrol, the family in quarantine, who're finding new wayst to connect between them, and not filing for divorce because they are sick of each other.

Working for each other instead of against one another is a better value than sex or status. No contest.

[Lynx122]

I think it's because women are more aware of and are more about social status, hierarchies etc. They're always concerned about what their position is, who's higher or lower than them, who wants to take what they have and what they want that someone else has etc.

Guys actually don't care that much about hierarchies and status the only reason we care is because women like the guys at the top more. But we don't really care for ourselves. That's why guys are usually chill and get along with each other because we don't feel like a guy is better than us if he's successful at something we can still hang out.

Women want to be at the top of the hierarchy because it's better for them and their children but the way they get there is usually by having a guy who's at the top. But when they have that guy every other girl wants that guy too so now the jealousy and fighting starts. I think women are just a bit too anxious and panick too easily they're always in fear of being cast out or losing their place in the hierarchy so it leads them to do stupid things. But these things backfire like 99% of the time so really it's just self sabotage.

[btbc92]

It's not you, it's the boyfriend she had. Sadly a lot of guys like to use something so simple to talk to other women knowing that they are involved with somebody. That is a logical reason for somebody to feel insecure and upset. A lot of guys especially think they don't have to listen to who they're with, and that's when that same individual ends up dumping them or cheating on them with somebody else. If she got to ask that question, I guarantee you it has nothing to do with you. But at the same time if she knows that's the kind of man he is and why she dating him? Some people just date for the wrong reasons. I should know because I get male attention that the ready taken or is dating other girls all the time. And I find it really disheartening and disgusting that men Deuce this kind of stuff and not just women because women do it too oh, and I think there's no repercussions behind the actions. When you're in entertainment or hospitality, your best bet when you're dealing with somebody who's being very rude and disrespectful, is to be neutral, always remember to make eye contact with the other person as well so they won't feel like they're being left out. Smile to each of them and just tell them have a good day. Don't worry about his antics. It's all about intent and how they show their body language. Because he can look friendly and ask friendly doesn't mean that his intent is always meant to be.

[Djaay]

With the virus around , you genrally have to ask for utinsels. That's all the guy did was ask. Why are you turning this into a guys intentional falt?

[btbc92]

@Djaay First of all look at what the asker wrote that the girlfriend replied: "Why were you all up in her face like that?” The rolling of the eyes. The point being is that in those types of situations it is not always the girl's jealousy that is the problem. But how the guy chooses to behave at that moment especially if he is attracted to other women. It's one thing to ask for utensils. Nobody is talking about that. It's the intention done in that situation that made the girlfriend respond like that. She can be immature, especially from how the Asker described the situation. But I have been in those situations more than enough times to gain experience. Notice that the girlfriend didn't ask 'how come you pay attention to her instead of me?', she asked 'Why were you all up in her face like that'? In her face like that? How close was he to give her that impression? Some personality types are natural charmers and don't always know how to control it.

[btbc92]

I have had male customers since I was 19-23 deliberately do this KNOWING they are either dating, courting or marrried to somebody else and don't respect who they are with. I LITERALLY had those same women give the stink eye, one made a nasty comment all because of what they did. I even have had a few try to flirt with me either in front of them or behind their backs. As much as I don't like some of their nasty attitudes, especially towards me, but I cannot blame them either. If somebody I dating or married to did that in front of me or behind my back, or somebody was kind enough to report what he is doing to them without my knowledge, I would scream bloody murder too. But I can tell if the girl is doing that on purpose and he's entertaining it or he started the fire. Otherwise, simple jealousy not caused by you should easily be ignored. That's what I do, but I still acknowledge their presense and show that I do not entertain that behavior either. It's inappropiate. Virus or no virus. Flirts will always find ways to stroke their egos. It's up to other responsible women and men not to condone it and set boundaries, especially in the workplace envionment. That's what I always did, and that's why my bosses respected me.

[Djaay]

F... Drama. I refuse to acknowledge anyone , male or female who demonstrates there self worthiness as this. Through life long experiences dealing with others in life , I can contest to a whole array of disturbing behavior with both genders at hand.
a lot of men and women can be downright f... stupid a lot of times during they're upbringing and distinglishment learning to be a man or a woman. Anyone who genuinely believes that jealousy involved doesn't equate to stupid, , needs a psychiatrist.

[btbc92]

@Djaay Are you not human, or are you an alien? Not everybody who is jealous is a jealous person. People need to learn to be receptive and respectful of others feelings and boundaries and not cross them. If that guy knew his girlfriend is easily jealous he shouldn't date her. And if she knew he likes to play flirty games with other women, then she pretty much asked for it and shouldn't have dated him either. It's not about people being stupid. You have people who feels disrespected, people who are just jealous, and people who just want control and use manipulative tactics such as jealousy to establish control.

[btbc92]

Some don't know how to establish their feelings well and still need a lot of time off in their life for maturity. That's why most people like that don't need to be dating. They need to be single, and yes, as you said, perhaps see a professional about their problems when and if warranted.

[DianaWest]

i'm sorry, i fail to see how a man who is an asshole is the woman's problem. why do bitches have to roll their eyes at another woman?

[btbc92]

Because if one was smart enough she wouldn't pick a man with poor behaviors just a man was smart enough he wouldn't date a woman with poor behaviors. Unless you would bring wash, mind-controlled, demon-possessed, nobody forced you to date them. Common sense. I wouldn't date them.

[btbc92]

We're brainwashed*

[btbc92]

And not all women are b***ches. But a vindictive woman is a vindictive woman. Period. The one who tends to suffer the most is the one who didn't ask to get sexually harassed, and one who expected their date, or partner to be socially responsible.

[btbc92]

That's what happens when you put the value of looks and personality and how good a person makes you feel, over character. But then if you say that, then you're too religious or judgmental. When it's again, common sense.

[CubsterShura]

The primary answer that you will get from most women, including myself, is that it's either jealousy and/or past experience with being cheated on.

Also, you won't believe how many women are actually sketchy out there. Men compete by physical strength, status etc but women don't fight in that way for a mate. They rather do it by being passive aggressive, spreading rumors, slandering and what not. So by primal instinct a woman wouldn't want her man to be extra friendly with other women in a way that she starts feeling more welcome to do sketchy things, especially since women are attracted to men who already attract other woman (what better way to confirm it than knowing he has a partner?) It's just the reality that women have to live with. I want no woman with any further intentions to stay within my man's 100-mile radius. That's it.

Oh and I almost forgot. A lot of men desire for intimacy from women they know/are friends with. So it's obviously a huge red flag if he has a hot female friend/coworker.

Jealousy is natural and normal in relationships. Man have their own way of having jealousy over their own women. That's why men don't like to see their women scantily clad outdoors or having a good conversation with other men who are taller/richer/hotter than them.

[rogue36]

I think its ridiculous n i dnt waste time off it. If i see a woman n she looks gd whether it be hair, nails, shape or outfit i give a compliment or i may say.. she looks gd or she is sexy or give her a smile. I would say it in d presence of anyone n i notice it doesn't sit well wit other females but there is always goin to be another younger, prettier n sexier woman. No need for us to hate. I dnt hv big boobs n huge hips n a big butt n its ok wit me n im comfortable, most important n i like simple. But im not wasting my energy n screw up my face for dat crap n if a girl smiles at my husband i take it as a compliment too cuz he is MY husband n not only me is goin to find him attractive.
My husband doesn't like it wen i wear shorts in public cuz he doesn't like d stares.. yet he feels more comfortable wen he is around... u would think its him being watched.. lol so i dnt wear them much but i catch him frm time to time watchin other women n it doesn't bother me but dnt get disrespectful. We are only human n we will be attracted to d opposite sex n there is nothing wrong wit being polite n he thinks im a weirdo for my thinking but its a reality. D funny ting is i cnt be wit him n say wow dat guy looks fine.. or even look 4 too long.. oh hell no, im gonna get d silent treatment... for days. But i do get a gd laugh off it... Personalities are crazy wen u think about it. Jealousy is a waste of human energy!

[Anonymous]

I think it has to do with varying factors. Part of it probably comes from how we are raised and what society says. With such an emphasis on looks, we're bound to get caught up in believing another woman is better looking and therefore has more worth than we do because beauty is seen as such an important quality. We often grow up with our parents telling us that they think we're the prettiest girl in the world and so forth. So much of our worth is put into the way we look and looking our best that another woman's attractiveness is seen as a threat.
Also, some men's attitude to women plays a part. Because a lot of guys check out women in a really obvious way (women check out men too but are more discreet) it causes a lot of insecurity for women. Nobody really wants to see their partner gawking at someone else and if someone has done this before it may lead someone to over-reading a situation (like your example, which was a bit over the top!).
There is also probably some evolutionary reproductive aspect to it. Men preen themselves subconsciously when they're attracted to a girl and show off in front of her. Women often use their looks to get a man's attention at first and we probably have some subconscious thing saying we've got to watch out for other women who might catch his eye. I don't know though. Think world would be a much better place if we women stuck up for each other instead of knocking each other down or judging.

[Mollynotgemma]

Because we are each other’s threat! We see a hot guy and straight away we will judge the woman, either by thinking I’m better looking then her... or I’ve got longer legs... or she’s fat etc. We judge ourselves on what we deem men want!
Men are fickle and actually when they love us they really do! Often it’s us women and our insecurities that challenge and ruin the relationship! We become comfortable and stop being who they fell in love with! It’s hard being a woman! Simply because society dictates how and what we should look like! Fine at the beginning... but keeping it up is hard and we feel threatened by the younger model! Men age better then us! But we are what men need and should take a leaf out of how men treat one another! They just want a giggle and an easy life!

[peachyknees]

Something I haven't seen anyone bringing up yet: we are taught from a young age that there can be only ONE girl above the rest. Who is THE PRETTIEST? Who is THE SMARTEST? Who is THE BEST? This is a myth, but sadly it is ingrained in our brains. This idea - of women competing for a man, a job, a career, a beauty contest - is widely represented in movies, magazines, on social media and, of course, in real life. That's why we end up being jealous - we are afraid some other woman might be better than us.

[xx_Alti]

There are about 4 comments total that are good in this coment section so im spilling some tea.
If she doesn't trust him not to treat vice versa, not gonna work out.
But to all the guys calling women stupid, insecure, and pussies in theese replies hear me tf out.
Try growing up learning that the prettiest, skinniest etc is the one who succeeds. Nobody says it straight out, but however, songs, movies etc.
Guys have it hard, bet, but don't call us pussies cause you'll never have to go through what we do. Same goes to the girls.
Jealousy is dumb, and it's mostly caused by insecurities, but insecurities come from our society.

[Francessa]

I feel like I am jealous because all the men in my life love to look at others and talk and think about them , also it does not help having half nude women everywhere I look and putting all that temptation in men's face , it makes me want to be a sleez then when I do im just that a simple sleez 🤷‍♀️ men are the problem with their backwards way of thinking , they want u to look modest and cute but then they want the next hussie that the see on an add or the streets ! I don't know but I blame the men for not being just that MEN !!! And making us ladies secure with them and also with who we are !!! 😉

[KrakenAttackin]

Right, your neurosis is our fault. Are you sure you and I weren't married?

[Francessa]

Hahahahha pretty sure lol

[Powderpuff97]

At first I couldn’t understand why girls are like that until I was faced with being jealous myself due to extreme low self esteem and insecurities. I don’t even get mad anymore when I see a girl that is jealous of another girl, instead I feel very bad and sad. Girls go through a lot when it comes to feeling inadequate and yes being jealous is horrible but that’s how people who feel inferior feel. No confident person would even think about doing what she did even if a girl was flirting with her man. A confident woman understands that her man may get attention but she’s the one he chose.

[Powderpuff97]

I actually cursed a girl out because she was prettier than me and she was trying to be an actress and the guy I thought liked me was eyeing her. I knew the girl. She was fake but I was still nice to her. I regret what I said but that just shows you how insecurities can bring the worst out in people. I feel very inferior compared to her. I always felt unattractive and was upset that she was better looking and more confident. I legit hated her and at times I still feel that way sadly

[donofhouston]

You must live a very sad life to feel that way

[Powderpuff97]

@donofhouston no but I am human and I make mistakes whether it’s wrong or right

[Meropatrick]

Women are very jealous of each others for simple things. Its part of evolution. A woman who got a mans attention in the cave time she would be the one to survive. Eliminating any competition guarantee that she will pass her genes on successfully. A woman who failed in that died as she will not have a guy to help her when she is pregnant. Or taking care of a baby.
Apparently evolution is not aware that will live in different times. But women will bring each other down mercilessly out of vanity and envy over petty stuff even. Cinderella story was never just a children’s fairytale. Its very accurate in every sense.

[Meropatrick]

also the woman in that situation she was jealous of u because she thought you are flirting with her husband or that the husband likes u (yes she will create a scenario in her mind and believe it, already in her mind you fucked her husband and he left her for u)😂😂

[lifelearner011]

I really dont' get it. I know a lot of people that suffer from this. I've also seen there are women who just don't accept there are different types and styles of being a woman, I think deep down maybe that's the root. Immediately, instead of acknowledging hey.. she's just as human as I am, just her cultural cosmovision and appearance, style is different.. yet we're all people. Is a chip of competence and hate. I intentionally try to see the lights of women who are near me, and fight against this, since I think is easier to be caught in that toxic logic.

[Alpha09]

Because some women aren't logical or rational and they think regular day to day interactions that thier partners have with other women are a threat. Those types of people don't usually change and they end up miserable and alone because they keep a death grip on the people they are in relationships with. I try to limit my contact with them, because they are so incredibly stupid.

[Iwillfindyou21]

Geez, all these incels responding make me mad.

This is all because of society's standards. When I was a small girl I was always taught that "you have to look nicely so you'll meet a nice man". Now it continues, a lot of men (not all though, just many) say that the personality is most important for them but later they talk to their buddies and say stuff like "I would never date Cindy, she has no boobs at all!" or "If my girlfriend would start gaining weight, I'd leave her at once". That's why many women are insecure when their BFs look at other women

[Moonchild714]

The same reason as Men being Jealous of other Men... Insecurities, they are Insecure in their abilities they lack confidence and it's also usually those that aren't good in the relationship they are abusive manipulative self centered so they know if someone else has a chance to show them not all Women or Men are like they are they will lose their SO...

[morrowlow]

Wrong! You can't bring men into this because men don't act like that

[nelly83]

@morrowlow men are like that. Maybe less than women but I’ve seen guys who got into fights cus other guys are trying to talk to his girlfriend.

[Moonchild714]

@morrowlow if men shouldn't be brought into this then see your way out of it...

You obviously fit my statement that's why you're so hurt by it...

No reply necessary I'm only discussing this topic with Legitimate Sane Level Headed People!!!

[nelly83]

Sounds like you’re not sane. What makes you think men never compete for women? Sounds like the only news you hear is from the movies

[Moonchild714]

@nelly83 who is this response to? Not me since I'm the one who included Men in this subject!! It's @morrowlow that thinks Men don't behave in a Jealous manner...

[morrowlow]

@Moonchild714 why are you so mad? You don't come across as a woman whom men compete over, which proves my point. Is that why you're so angry?

[nelly83]

@morrowlow she's just angry that you're a deluded troll. Just like the rest of the dumbass guys on here.

[morrowlow]

@nelly83 wow you're just as nice and delightful as her. I can see how you're both irresistible to men you hags

[nelly83]

@morrowlow I can just see how many women are attracted to you either. You sound bitter, rejected with mental issues.

[Moonchild714]

@morrowlow you obviously have Women issues and instead of thinking it's all on Women take a Good Honest look in the Mirror!!! Anyone who think only Women act Jealous is Jealous Acts out on them... You really need to work on your issues!!! GaG really needs to Delete all you Hurt Incels so you get out of the Basment and into Reality!!!

[morrowlow]

Typical examples of butt-hurt women! You say whatever you want about everyone and as soon as someone tells you your wrong, you go psycho. I'm glad my comment made you stop being jealous of each other and brought you together for a few hours

[nelly83]

@morrowlow why don't you tell me what I'm butt hurt about? Clearly you do not even know what women are butt hurt about. Mentally ill asshole.

[morrowlow]

You can't stand disagreement. Probably because you're an entitled, snobbish, megalomaniac.

[nelly83]

@morrowlow well you couldn’t answer the question right? You just want to intentionally piss people off for no reason because you’re mentally ill

[Meropatrick]

@morrowlow bro dont go on with this conversation they dont use logic😂the way they argue just make your point more valid.
Yep men compete but aren't petty

[nelly83]

@Meropatrick how do you use logic If you can’t even tell what I’m angry about?

[morrowlow]

@nelly83 how the hell should he know or i know what you're angry about? It could be your hormons.
@Meropatrick i see your point

[DeeDeeDeVour]

My guess regarding that situation you just witnessed is there probably already is an underlying issue between them. I'll bet she has a trust issue about him (maybe) because he has a history of cheating.

I wouldn't assume that women in general are jealous or envious of one another. If you're "on a perch" or "at the top of the mountain" then you're who others are envious/jealous of. It's not really your problem, it's their's.

[Meropatrick]

I assume also that he did cheat on her before. That the guy has a roving eyes. Or she had been cheated on before. There is definitely a trust issue there

[AlienParasite]

Not every woman is like that, and some men are like that with their partner. It's a profile of jealous person. The moment they see their partner talking to someone of the opposite sex who is attractive or seems nice there's the fear that this person might "steal" their partner from them. This people usually have low self-esteem or/and don't trust their partner, they believe their partner is weak to temptation.

[Francessa]

Agreed !! But it doesn't help when said partner has a lot of red flags in the possible cheater department , I am normally very secure , unfortunately situations happened that caused me to break and I feel like men feed off my insecurities , but I no I'm jealous over everything and I also know I am worth more then just being HOT !!

[Ginny418]

We strive to be perfect. We are blinded by our ambition to be perfect and our own imperfections that when we see someone else who doesn't have the same imperfections we become jealous and we view them as better. That could translate to ourselves failing to achieve the goal we set

[Screenwriter]

I'm guessing it's only certain women ABOUT certain other ones. I've never been with a man I felt was ignoring me for someone else and I've never felt jealous or envious of someone. You can't be or have what someone else has. It's a useless emotion. And it makes you look bad.

[GraveDoll]

I dont know but it so so sad. I so believe in female bonding. I love all my females friends and could not ever have female friends... they get me. A man can't replace that.

sorry that happen to you. some females just can't see past themselves i guess
Xx

[MissDawn7961]

I am not the jealous type ! while Mike and I were on a date he started talking to another girl ! then he left ! I started talking to her until Mike returned ! Mike and I dated a little longer until he hit me and hurt my knee ! so I ended it with him and he married another woman and is a seamen along with his daughter ! funny thing is , is that Mike told me he could not have children so he may have lied about that too ! anyway he is in her hands now to hit or whatever ! thanks

[kangy]

insecurities and competition
even among friends
I know my close friends will never compliment me on my looks either they may not find me attractive (as beauty is in the eyes of the beholder) or they do not want to reveal the truth coz it will make them feel uneasy.

[Solitude_asian]

Now I think about it, those close female friends whom I always went out with long time ago always had something to find fault with the way I look and said in a rather mean tone. The ones who compliment me are mostly strangers, guys (mostly strangers) and young kids after 10. Anyway, I am no longer with those female friends cos later I found out that they have other personality traits which are worse than always criticising my looks. I never think I am good-looking, but they are also very average-looking. How could my close friends be less kind than strangers? Something is not right.

[Solitude_asian]

younger kids under* 10

[kangy]

Yes I will never receive compliments on my looks from close girlfriends. It is always people whom I am not closed with who complimented

[loveslongnails]

Why? Basic answer is very simple - humans are stupid.
Jealousy stems from stupidity, as do many bad traits. It is also a highly "contagious", learned behavior, and part of the human condition... because... as I said,
humans are stupid.

All I can say is that if my girlfriend ever did that to me, ESPECIALLY for no reason, she'd not be my girlfriend any longer.