How to spot the difference between a guy who is Not interested vs. shy to approach you?

[Anonymous]

Not interested vs. shy to approach you?

Help me to understand the difference. Thanks!

[JoTree]

That's easy.

Does he get nervous when he is around you.

Does he excessively smile when he talks to you.

Does he trip over his words when he speaks to you? If he hasn't engaged in conversation, strike up a conversation with him. You'll know instantly.

Some of these are very subtle, but if you're good at reading body language, they'll be pretty obvious.

One way to be dead certain he isn't interested is to strike up a conversation. If it goes no where, and he would rather be doing something else, then you'll know for sure.

[sa230e]

A shy guy will usually stare at you, an uninterested guy will probably look glance once at you and that's about it. His body language will probably also be more nervous in your presence whereas an uninterested guy will be more calm and aloof. He might also hover around you. He won't get into your personal space but he might go out of his way to be near at hand.

[AmberChick]

Not interested: Avoids you, doesn't try to be around you.

Shy to approach you: Still looks at you. Wants to be around you.

[Anonymous]

I had this problem. He would stare. Hover. Stutter. The m.f. had a girlfriend. I try to avoid him now. He sucks.

[skittledittle]

that seems to be a new trend - what a douche!

[Brando]

I think a big difference between uninterested vs. shy is that the shy guy is still going to show little signs that he's curious and interested in you. He'll glance in your direction, he'll try to be closer to you even if he doesn't know what to say to you. He basically tries as much as he can to be in contact with you.

The uninterested guy isn't going to be affected by your presence because his mind is on other things. He might talk to you like normal because you don't stand out in his mind.

[Lockjawx27]

There is no way to know for sure. You should approach him. Just ask him out.

And don't say, "I'll look like a slut society will look down on me". That's a total COP-OUT. Women have changed plenty of norms in society and want to be equal. Therefore you should approach and leave your ego at the door

[RealDeal]

A shy guy might be more distant but he should still be welcoming when you are around him (i.e. Tries to carry a conversation with you. Might not be interesting but key word is, Tries). A guy that isn't interested usually doesn't bother to even make eye contact with you, doesn't ask you questions to get to know you, and leaves you with one word answers.

[rachel05]

wow your shy guy version describes it to a tee what happened to me.

[Anonymous]

well I'm really really shy and I usually try not to show my interest. But the telltale sign is that I would try to steal glances at you if you're at a distance away from me by pretending to look around the room, but as soon as you pull up a seat next to me I try to move away and not look at all in your general direction if I can. It's the nervousness that's so unbearable that I need to get away a little just to feel a little bit calmer.

[Asker]

So, you'll never talk to any girl you like?

[Opinion Owner]

well if I know you already, then I will probably say hello if you say hello to me, but if you don't initiate or if you're a stranger then no, I'll probably just go and sit in the corner or something. I'm not very talkative really, unless I have to or unless I feel comfortable with the people that's there.

[Asailum]

actually this is gonna be very hard for u. Shy guys are usually terrified of showing their feelings, so they will go to great extents to hide any signs they like you.

If you become friends and have a deep conversation, itl probably reveal itself

[Asker]

So, they'd prefer to miss a chance of knowing a nice girl rather than trying to approach?

[Asailum]

its a little more complex than that. Its like he might like you and WISH he could be with you, but then he feels ashamed of himself for those feelings and beats himself up inside to the point where he won't even try.

[Asker]

Ashamed because he likes a girl? weird

[Yeahhbro]

o ashamed because he is afraid she won't return the feelings ya dig? or that she will make his life impossible.

[Asker]

Why would he think she'll reject him? That's too bad.

[Asailum]

ashamed/guilty because he feels like he doesn't deserve anyone. Now keep in mind that might not be the case with your guy, I'm just giving you one possible reason out of many.

[ericneo]

I've seen girls spit at guys, kick them, make false sexual assault charges , or get their boyfriend to beat up a guy who asks her out as a form of rejection.

[Yeahhbro]

because that is how it is. Why don't you go and ask a guy you find really attractive in the bus out and tell me how it feels like. Being a man can also be pretty hard.

[Asailum]

ericneo, that was called your imagination. Real world rejection is usually no where near that bad unless your in some stupid club where guys are all looking fo a fight.

Yes jack it can seem hard, but once you do what seems so scary its suddenly not that bad at all. Its only when your extremely soft on yourself (oversensitive) that rejection affects you so badly.

[Mesonfielde]

I'd say the best indicator of shyness is at the very first meeting, whether the person is distant or just reluctant and nervous.

[Asker]

Explain more. Shy guys can never approach you although I might notice their eyes roaming over me. But in the end, they never approach so how would I know?!

[Mesonfielde]

Hmm... if they do not approach at all, then if they look at you *multiple times* and immediately look away when you check there, then they might also be interested.

As I tend to say, the best two indicators of interest are direct approach and avoidance in fear. :P

[Asker]

If he doesn't approach me, how are we going to talk? lol

[Mesonfielde]

You can always say "hi" for the very first time if you want. :P

[martyfellow]

See if you can catch him looking at you. Look in windowns or mirros, look at home over a book...you can tell if he is stealing glances your way.

[martyfellow]

Sorry internet connection in Cina is weak, so many typos. I meant to say look in windows or mirrors, look at him over a book or a newspaper...if he's not interested you won't catch him looking or at least not more than once...

[ZenSpace]

There is one sure way to spot the difference.

Approach him! The shy guys will be open to doing things together if, you suggest them. The other guys won't want to.

Simple. Try it. :-)

[rachel05]

exactly what I'm gonna do! because I wuz so afraid that because he didn't ask for my # the 1st time we talked, he wuzn't interested.. but my friends said to ask to hang out... see where it goes from there.

[theydidntnameme]

the shy guy will probably look at you more.

also look at his demeanor. like how he carries himself. watch how he interacts with other people. if he looks shy then there you go :) he was probably too shy to approach you

[sikoo31]

shy guys won't try to act cool or tough or anything, they just won't talk to you.

[Asker]

uninterested guy also won't talk, so what's the difference?

[sikoo31]

they sometimes show off.

[7gnat]

If you don't catch him looking at you then he is not interested. Even a shy guy will glance at you. When I see a female I look once when she is not looking. If I do not like what I see I will not look again.

[AshBrown]

Shy guys don't take the first step to go forward. So you just need to open up a little to see if that opens HIM up. If not, ditch him.

[Anonymous]

approach him and see how he acts, that should tell you..