Girlfriend is never around much anymore?

[Anonymous]

I love my girlfriend. She’s not perfect, but she is someone I can sort of see myself with. I’m not entirely sure on that, but it’s only been 10months.

My issue is that she just started a new job and I never see her anymore. I work 7-4, she works 11-9. She gets home at about 9:30-10 each night which gives us about 1hr max per night. Weekends she has a 2nd job. She’ll eventually quit that, but for now is using that time to pay down some debt (yet another reason I think she’s a catch). She can’t quit this 2nd job for at least another 3 months.

I love the way I feel when I’m with her. She makes me feel so valued and appreciated. However, we never seem to do anything together other than sleep in the same bed a few times a week. I miss having her in my life… the thought of find someone else is creeping into my mind.

Idk… I’m just really lonely. I never felt this lonely when I was single. I think because there were options. I feel tied down to a person I never see much.

Do you guys think I walk from this or wait till the 2nd job is finished?

[ryanrhino]

Make that 1 hour you have together the highlight of your day. Make it hers as well. Make her feel valued and appreciated, just as she makes you feel. Prepare some things you can do together for her.

You're in a rough patch right now, probably the roughest you have ever had together. What you both do together now will shape your relationship in the future.

What did you do before you met her for fun? Focus on those things when she's not around or plan your time with her, but don't be angry if what you expect to happen doesn't - that's love - no expectations, just hope. Only YOU can make you happy, not her!

What you are describing is quite common. External forces get in the way. How do you think she feels not being able to see you? You could take naps so that you can stay up with her longer each night. :D You've got at least 3 hours to yourself, so nap and split up your sleep schedule!

[Asker]

thanks Ryan. that's a great answer.

[Blobb]

hmmm well these are your two options can't decide for you:

1. Ditch it if you can't wait 3 months

2. Though it out for 3 months

[bobbi789]

I think this is something that happens to a lot of people at some time or another. If you're not convinced you want to stay with her, definitely have some kind of conversation about how you miss her, want to spend more time with her, etc, while still recognizing that she might not have the time for it right now. Just expressing yourself could help and perhaps there is a solution -- either way I'm sure you'll be even more reminded of why you're with her! I don't think you should walk from this yet, after all she seems responsible and independent, and based on the way you feel about her I think things will improve in 3 months!

[Elisue]

I work from Mo-Fri from 6.30 - 16.30, my husband works from Mo-Sat from 10-14.00 and 17.00-21.30. So we also have like an hour each day and only on Sunday the whole day. In a relationship, there are goals and if you need to work to realize it, sacrifices need to be made.

Like ryanrhino said, make the best of that one hour. And a vacation together (even a stay at home together vacation) at least once a year, to really enjoy each other gets you out of that daily slump.

[snoopy13]

definitely try to hold on until the 2nd job is finished esp if you think you can see yourself marrying her or something. because I think if you were to get married, you will face situations like these. this is a test to how strong your relationship is. see how long you can last. I don't think you are at a breaking point yet from what it sounds like

[justlilly]

I think a lot of couples go through this eventually. If your relationship is strong, you will get through it. Sometimes putting things on the back burner for awhile and focusing on work is a good idea. It will make your future together easier. You could get a second job to fill up some of the time she is gone.

[AmberChick]

I think if you break up with her you will regret it, because so far the only problem with the relationship is that you want to spend more time with her. And that should be a good thing. You should be able to talk to her about it without coming off as sounding needy or desperate. What you wrote here sounds good and is honest enough to let her know that you have needs. You want to be able to see your girlfriend, and if she can please make more time for you. Gl

[SuperCurious]

If you really love her, sticking it out for three months should be worth it. At least you have an independent woman that doesn't depend on you for money and all that

[theydidntnameme]

i think you should stick it through. its times like this that will make you two grow closer together I think!

[Anonymous]

you can 'sort-of' see yourself with her?

[Asker]

its a typo... I meant to say I can sort of see myself with her for the rest of my life. I don't think 10mnths is enough time to figure that out.

[Opinion Owner]

ahh I see, and very true..

[Anonymous]

dump her