Why does it seem like Girls are more forgiving to their men that cheat then Guys are to their Girls that cheat?

Question

I am not saying every girl is forgiving or every guy isn’t , but it seems like Girl’s that been cheated on by their men will give him a second chance compared to a a guy giving his girl a second chance? Why do you think that is?

Lookingforthetruth · Accepted Answer

A high value man is far more valuable than a beautiful woman; beauty is cheap. While woman have an abundance mentality in the sense of many male suitors, only few guys actual stand out as actually datable in their eyes. Hence the term "Where are all the good men" being used by modern women a lot these days.

So when you are a woman and you finally get your "prince charming" and all other male options are just toads in your eyes, you are going to tolerate and be forgiving of cheating because the prospect of having to go back on dating market is a bleak though in her eyes. Kevin talks about this in his video below with Jessica Lee Wong who is a model in Miami.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/KtufS32el1o

Now why are men less tolerant of cheating? For one sex can lead to babies and many women will often keep their affairs secret and stick the guy she thinks would be the best dad for her child with the bill of raising him/her regardless of if he is the actual father. In addition, states reinforce this behavior because on an individual level government does not want to pay the bill of having to take care of this human.

Another reason men are far less forgiving is pride and emasculation. Many men see a woman cheating on him and going for another male as her basically saying he is not manly enough for her and it takes a big blow to a male's ego when he finds out his woman wants another male.

Men are also less forgiving about cheating because men have the reverse of what women have. While there are many men on planet, women only see a handful (top 20% of males) as datable.

Why does it seem like Girls are more forgiving to their men that cheat then Guys are to their Girls that cheat?

For men, we see beautiful women all the time and even appreciate the average 5/10 girl as a potential prospect of a mate on a genuine level. So when a girl cheats we are willing to pack up shot and go for another girl because there are thousands out there. Granted it will take an average man longer to get another girl post breakup and yes some men are pathetic enough to remain after cheating.

ObscuredBeyond · Accepted Answer

To me, it's about attitude, motive, and exact third party. If she thought I'd dropped off the map, and tried to move on, but couldn't, then felt guilty when I returned, I could forgive. If she's cheating with multiple partners, isn't sorry, expects me to be a cuck full time, laughs at my grief, and still expects me to be at her beck and call? That girl is getting thrown to the curb, and isn't getting another chance!

Likewise, if a man is simply weak, women might forgive, due to nurturing instinct. And because he's a survival ticket if society collapses. Natural instinct tells her that throwing him out should be a last resort. Now, if he's a complete asshole, that changes things. Then, she can be understood to kick him to the curb.

In hunter-gatherer days, mothers were essential for children until about the age of six. Fathers became the primary teachers and nurturers after that, with mothers assuming a role of lesser responsibility. Things equaled out. In the modern era, nothing is so readily predictable. Yet, if the man has lost hope of meaningful family planning and paternity, then a woman needs to be of value outside of biology to be needed. So women who betray that, devalue what's left of their value. Making men less inclined to forgive.

Duckie11 · Accepted Answer

I suspect this is a hold over from back when women pretty much needed a husband. Women gained the right to open their own bank account in the 60s. "Women's jobs" didn't pay very much. It was extremely difficult to support yourself without a husband. So, back then, if your man cheated, you probably looked the other way to protect your own quality of life. To this day, while it's not nearly as severe, women still tend to make less money than men, struggle with negotiating for raises, and can be discriminated against based on things like "oh, she could get pregnant and take maternity leave, and then want to spend more time with the kids, so better not give her the big promotion" even if she's completely single.

So... it could very well be financially motivated. Even if she doesn't realize it is or is well-off financially herself, she may have been taught that all men cheat and it's not a big deal and that a good woman forgives and forgets from the older women (or even the men) in her family who passed down the idea that you need a man to be stable. These things can be generational.

As for men, I would suspect it's the pregnancy thing. I don't think not wanting to be cheated on needs much justification, but I would assume doubt over paternity would make it worse.

Aerissa_Jade · Accepted Answer

Not a lot of experience to know on this, I would have to guess. The one girl I knew that her husband cheated on her, forgave him cause she had like 25 sexual partners before they met, and he had 3... so she was still like, I'm way ahead of you. In this case, he wasn't emotionally cheating, just physically.

I suspect that if two people were each others first, got married and all it might be much harder for one to forgive the other though... seems in those cases people always go for divorce.

Otherwise I think it is one of those things you never know if you'll forgive or not until your in that situation. We can say we never will but then if it happens have to re-evaluate that pre-made decision.

normalice · Answer

Girls don't tend to build their self worth around their sexual prowess like men do. To most girls sex is best experienced as a way to enhance their feelings for someone. And when a guy cheats the main reason women are upset about it is because they take it as an indication that their guy is trying to get emotionally involved in someone else. So, when a guy insists it was just for the sex women, assuming she believes him, tend to view it with much the same disapproval that they would if they caught him masturbating but that's not enough to end a relationship.

Of course, many women have trouble believing sex is just for the sake of sex. Even if the guy means it they know the girl he slept with usually doesn't - a man can only squirt so much into a girl's mouth before he either has to move on or stay forever, after all.

The point is while there is some competition among women for who is better at sex it is almost laughable compared to the mountain of emotional mudslides that is the male competition for it. So, when a woman cheats it cuts to the core of what we build our self esteem around. This is also where the concept of "emotional cheating" comes from. It's something women get really upset about if a man does it but women can do it in front of their man and half the time he won't even notice - the other half is probably just happy she's getting all that out in someone else's ear. Words and worries are what women have instead if ejaculate. The sort of girl who would pay for her guy to have a prostitute is equivalent to the sort of guy who would pay for his girl to have a therapist.

Anonymous · Answer

One of the major problems with guys cheating is women are generally more attracted to taken men vs single men when all else equal. Men (for the most part) are not more drawn to taken women. But women unfortunately enable these shitty scenarios. When I was in a relationship in the past it was insane how much more “friendly” other women acted towards me. Actually pissed me off. Where were you when I was single?

Anyway when it comes to women likeability = respect. They have a much harder time understanding the difference.

They will tolerate prolonged abuse from a man they like including cheating. They also don’t feel as much guilt for cheating on a man they do NOT really like. They often try to do mental gymnastics to justify that bs.

I am glad you came to acknowledge that your past actions were wrong. You understand that your bs emotions didn’t justify what you did. That’s another difference between men and women. I don’t see as many women taking ownership for their bs vs how men do it.

Eroache69 · Answer

Because men take being cheated on as a way more serious and huge hit to their ego than women do.

Yeah, we get sad and offended that you chose to be disloyal to us in that manner. But we also know there's a line up of 100s more waiting to get a chance to please us too.

We can and will get over it quickly. Now, if she forgives you, consider yourself lucky.. There's a lot of bitches out there that won't give you the time of day after something like that, and I am one of those bitches lol. If you don't respect me enough to just end it with me like a real man once you're realizing I'm just not what you think you want anymore, then you ain't worth a lick of my time anyway.

Boy bye! 🙅‍♀️💁‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Anonymous · Answer

Because men see everything as a conquest, and giving good sex to women is a conquest.
A man wants to see the woman he fucks lose her mind over how good he is at fucking.
However if he gets cucked, he takes it as, that his woman is publicly declaring to others that he is not good at bed, and therefore it makes him feel very ashamed and emasculated.

Women on the other hand have a bias about men that "MEN" are sexual creatures and they like to fuck around because that makes them feel like such an alpha male... So they take it more as "his dick couldn't resist"... they still get upset but blame it on physiology.

A woman will be more baffled if her man is "Emotionally" withdrawn from her because she is supposed to be this nice and comforting lover to her man.

DizzyDesii · Answer

When i was young and naive, it was easier to forgive because you always thought with your emotions/heart rather than with logic/brain. As i got older, i never forget and only forgive enough to find peace/closure and remain cordial. I would only take back a cheater if i didn't have options or had a low self esteem. My esteem is not high but its high enough to know i have options and that there are too many fish in the sea to go back to a cheater

shaysh87 · Answer

1. On average, men tend to make more money than women. A woman leaving her husband may have a lot of financial consequences for her when she has to raise her kids all on her own. Yes, its usually always the mother who ends up with the kids: working full time and raising the kids.

2. Men tend to cheat out due to sexual reasons while women tend to cheat for emotional reasons. Women tend to figure this out. Its not as bad if your partner cheated for sex compared to cheating because she loves someone else.

3. Women tend to be more tolerant by nature compared to men.

monorprise · Answer

For most of history men have had more to lose from a woman cheating than a woman has from a man cheating in a species of monogamy.

Its only relatively recently however that either side had mitigating technologies and institutions such as DNA tests and enforced Martial claims.

in general when a woman cheats, a man could end up supporting anther man's child, and for most of history this was regarded as a crime against the man by the other man, not merely a crime of the woman.

When a man cheats the woman is risking a share of his resources going to support the other woman's child. This of course was fixed in most cultures by Marital institutions which simply de-legitimized the other child, protecting the married partner's claim.

Seinna · Answer

Because at a certain point in their life women are dependent on men. They invested a lot of time into the relationship, maybe they have a child together. And in general women are less confrontational and prefer to have peace and keep the life they build. They care about stability and it's not like a man can get pregnant and have her unknowingly raise his child as her own. Also, men tend to have more self respect than women. That's why it baffles me that some men think it's women who have control over dating... it might be that women are more selective but they have to be because if they chose the wrong person it's a lot harder for them to walk away from the consequences.

Kaamraj · Answer

There is this thing called the pareto principle in dating where 90 % of the women are sexually interested in the same 10 % of men, this has been proven from the swipe patterns of women on dating sites where anonymity is guaranteed. So the same 10% of guys are with several women, often simultaneously and can cheat because they are not too concerned about being single. So statistically the perception is that men cheat more than women, but it's actually the elite men who have the options and exercise them.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

So I did a little bit of looking into like statistics

I don't know if this is related or not but I'm just bringing it out here cuz I feel like it could be useful too finding the real answer

A study says that 20% of men cheat and 13% of women cheat but that the Gap is closing because women are slowly starting to cheat more not cheat more than men but just cheat more in general

I found this information on fatherly. com and a few other websites they said the same thing but their source for the statistic is the 2018 general social survey

Do with this information as you wish it may or may not help with the topic and you can do as you push just please don't harass me about it because I'm not up to that

Vegasrunner · Answer

Listen the fact that you're asking this question is not a good sign. Let me break this down to you. It is harder for guys to cheat than women so typically the caliber of man able to cheat is one that all women want. What goes through a womens head is where can I find another man like this to replace this one and the answer is usually nowhere. A woman cheating is easy and doesn't take much effort so most people loose respect for woman who take advantage of that privilege. Think about it everytime your woman left the house you would know that she could bang anyone she wants at any time, why would man keep that around?

Moose304 · Answer

It's estimated that anywhere from 60% to 80% of ALL divorces in the US are started by the wives. Don't think women are all that much more forgiving! PEOPLE that cheat are a subhuman POS not worth continuing a relationship with. In my circle of friends, I know roughly 30 people that I call really good friends. About 20 of them are females that kicked their cheating POS husband out on his ass! Some have remarried and some are single now.

Fireguy17 · Answer

I have no idea, maybe women can answer why they are more willing to stay.
I caught my 1st wife with the landlord.
I left, I had no desire to stay.
I had an ex girlfriend that was cheating and I left that relationship.
My wife caught her ex cheating and left him.
For me it's a matter of trust, once that is gone, so am I.
Life is too short to put up with someone you don't trust.

Tiptoetamm · Answer

It does seem that way but I don't tolerate cheating I don't cheat and expect the same. I'm not going to stay with someone who's fucking other people behind my back. I don't know who this field have slept with and I don't know if he used a condom so it's not worth it for me to stay

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's one of two reasons. Either she doesn't have confidence/respect for herself or she doesn't see it as a big deal.

Some women can see that a man cheating (while still totally disgusting and wrong) is very different than a woman cheating (generally)

Men don't need or look for an emotional connection when having sex. Most guys who have sex with lots of women have developed the skill of pretty much faking a connection with women.

Generally speaking, when a woman has sex with someone, they have some kind of emotional attachment to that person. It's a requirement for many women to even get aroused.

But guys don't even really understand this concept. It's almost foreign to us. We just see a women with a nice body and our biology handles the rest. Love and attachment comes after.

There are some women who are less bothered by the man cheating because she knows her relationship with the man is not threatened by it.

DWornock · Answer

That should be obvious because no man has ever convinced his partner that a baby he had with another woman is her baby. However, women do that all the time. Having sex is insignificant compared to spending a quarter of million dollars raising another man's child.

Anonymous · Answer

Simple: financial dependence. When a woman has a great career and can stand on her own, she doesn't tolerate nearly as much bullshit as she would if she has a dead-end job and can't make ends meet. They'll use a ton of rationalisations and excuses, but that's what it boils down to if you ask them enough questions.

Berethor · Answer

Guys have much more to lose from being with a cheating girl AKA slut.

MCheetah · Answer

Yeah, I disagree with this. Cheaters are awful, regardless of the gender, but at least when guys do it, they know they f*cked up, while women tend to make excuses and blame the man when women cheat on their partners. Girls definitely don't seem more forgiving, to me.

Phoenix-gb · Answer

Don't know, it's not like women don't know there's likely to be many guys who would love to date them and be loyal. Then again, they are likely to be less attractive or be seen as boring because, as I said, they are going to be loyal, so no danger or risk involved, just everything they say they want in a relationship with none of the additional work, which is somehow unattractive.

Why does it seem like Girls are more forgiving to their men that cheat then Guys are to their Girls that cheat?

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