How do I get her to stop acting like she hates me and admit her true feelings to me?

[Anonymous]

I have a huge crush on this girl named Sarah. She's the most beautiful girl in the world. And not only that, she's a very intelligent and driven woman.

When I first got to talking to her, I thought I saw a spark of attraction from her as well, but then she started acting very hostile towards me as if she didn't like me at all. So, I figured I should just cut my losses and move on if she didn't feel the same way about me.

Then, I confided in one of our mutual friends that I had a crush on her. He told me that he heard that Sarah likes me back. When I asked why Sarah treats me so badly, he told me that I'm the only person that she treats me in that manner and it's been kinda obvious to him that Sarah likes me even if he didn't hear that Sarah liked me.

My theory on why Sarah acts in this manner is because her dad left her mom when she was little and I think she has a difficult time trusting guys because she is scared of "rejection" from other guys and romantic interests.

I want to tell Sarah my feelings about her, but I have a hard time trying to talk to her. I'm not scared of rejection, but I want to show her that I'm not going to reject or leave her if she dates me. How do I talk to her?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Dude, no. Run.

If Sarah really does like you, it's painfully obvious she has a lot of issues to work through and she isn't ready for a genuine relationship. She needs time to grow, heal, and become her own person outside her trauma.

If Sarah isn't acting and she genuinely doesn't like you, then she genuinely doesn't like you and you stand no chance.

Have you ever had a girlfriend before? (Just wanting to know for context)

[Asker]

Yes, I've dated both guys and girls in the past (I'm bisexual) and none of them have ever treated me quite like Sarah does. You're right, now that you mention it, she is a pretty toxic individual if she treats anyone like that, albeit, she only treats me like that and no one else.

I think you're right. I need to move on. We're the same age and in our friend group, we're the only ones that are still single and people have noticed and asked me why I don't ask her out, but I've just been too intimidated by her because of her attitude towards me.

Just curious, why did you ask if I had a girlfriend before?

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Nice, I'm bi, too!

I was wondering because sometimes guys without any dating experience have really off-base expectations that could get them into trouble. A lot like how girls will sometimes have Hallmark movie levels of expectations. It might've been a teachable moment, but you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Don't feel pressured to date just because your peers are all in couples. There's no universal speed to life. And peer pressure isn't really a great reason to date someone - especially if they're not willing to respect you and be affectionate.

She's even more toxic if you're the only one she treats like that. You deserve better, and she's very clearly sending a hostile message.

I'm sure you'll find love elsewhere. Your friends ought to stop shipping you with someone who dislikes you.

[In_Trance]

You lied about your age

[Asker]

What do you mean?