Long story short I had my heartbroken 3 times in the space of a year and I became very angry, bitter and resentful towards women. I took my anger out on a woman I hooked up with whilst punching and slamming her head on the floor in an uncontrollable fit of rage after having sex with her, I’ve never told anyone this story before hence why this is posted anonymously but when I calmed down and was catching my breath this beautiful young lady looked an absolute bloodied mess, her face was unrecognisable with blood and cuts. I was honestly so frightened, I thought I had killed her. I couldn’t hear her breathing and I was absolutely panicking especially as I knew I’d be caught as my DNA was inside her as we just had intercourse…I was sat on the sofa crying with my face in my hands and suddenly I heard a cough and I looked and she was repeatedly coughing whilst spitting out blood. This is the emotional part I don’t wish to delve to much into but as she was recovering she was begging to be let go and there is much more to this than I will explain but we made a deal that I’d let her go if she promised not to tell the police or anyone about this incident. At the time I thought she was going to tell so I told myself I’d never have anything to do with women in a sexual or romantic interest again if she doesn’t phone the police and if she does then I’ll accept my punishment which is deserved. She didn’t contact the police but 5 years later I still feel racked with guilt and at times suicidal 😢😢😢😢😢
Is it normal to still feel extreme guilt for an incident that happened half a decade ago?
