Girls, do you feel that you use physical attractiveness as the attribute that most attracts you to men in the beginning of any relationship?

[Bricealan]

I have read many times that MANY women SAY that they are not drawn to men purely on a physical basis, BUT realistically physical attraction is the first thing we ALL feel when meeting men, or men meeting women, because that is the only OBSERVABLE attribute we can easily observe.

Sadly, and tragically, that seems to be the one main factor that contributed to the Ted Bundy massacre of so many women, and I sometimes wonder WHY many women seem to overlook some potentially troubling, possibly fatal underlying factors/traits that those men can easily hide.

Recently watched a Netflix, documentary on Bundy. and he ultimately 'confessed' to murdering 30 women in his rampage, and only confessed shortly before he was electrocuted in Florida. As the evidence stacked up during his trial, women in the courtroom said he just did not "look' like a serial killer, and even when he escaped at one point, (according to the film) women on the street, were ogling him as he escaped and ran down the street from the courtroom)

In my 'youth" (19-35) I have seen and talked to, and 'rescued" battered women, risking my own life in the process) where the 'victim' went back to the batterer, and police cautioned me never to do that again.

During that time frame, I was fortunate enough to date some of the most beautiful women I have ever had the privilege to sleep with, but when it became obvious to me that for whatever reason, they were' poison', I did not hesitate to cut them loose and move on.

My experience, after all of the above, is that many women will latch onto that 'pretty boy' and refuse to give up on them even though they are beaten, maybe even forcibly raped during the relationship, and in some cases end up dead as a result.

I would like only responsible, rational responses to this question from women that may have been in that situation.

[Anonymous]

Because they aren’t like that in the beginning. They act kind and loving in the start of the relationship/dating and then slowly start to break her down. Some take several months or even years to show their true colors (some don’t until she’s prenant or they got married) and by then the women are so deep in love and so badly manipulated and brainwashed that they think it’s all their fault, which these men also claim it is. They made him that way. That sweet guy, and they know he’s sweet - because he was in the beginning to her as well, and she is to blame for how he’s acting now. That’s what these men brainwash them to think and what these women end up believing. They’ve been broken down and manipulated to that point. So slowly they don’t notice. It’s not like they met last week and he’s punching her in the face today. Often they also isolate her from family and friends before starting really abusing her more obviously, so she’ll be lonely and dependant on him. There is this thing called trauma bonding, I recommend you read more about that. It’s very difficult to break and often a reason abused people go back/stay or even why people keep breaking up and getting back together despite their relationship being toxic. I know a guy who was emotionally abused and used for his money by his exgirlfriend and he KNOWS this but still he kept going back to her to try again over and over and then even got back in touch with her while he had a new girlfriend who actually treated him right. It’s not just women.

And of course looks are important. The thing is, most serial killers/killers/violent abusers are men and their victims of interest women, so naturally women will be more at risk. Men also have to upper hand usually being bigger, heavier and physically stronger than women. This means women are WAY more at risk then men. Men can chat with women, go on dates, follow a random woman home and he can be pretty safe nothing bad is going to happen. Women can’t, but decided to risk it sometimes anyway when things feel right. This is why you see cases like the Bundy case. Yeah, these women saw a hot guy and charming guy and went with him. Unfortunately their gut feeling was off. How many men would go with a hot and charming girl showing interest in them though? Most men would. With this said, there have been cases were men have gone to meet women they met online for example and then ended up being robbed and beaten by other men waiting for him as it was all a trap to begin with.

[Bricealan]

Well said, and I thank you for your POV. I have left relationships that were bad, (alcohol ridden) but of course not physically abusive.

[Bricealan]

I stopped a guy from battering a woman in a car, one evening after coming home from the Sheriff's Academy. This Ahole was probably 6-foot square, but I could not walk by and not do something.
The cops told me she would be right back in bed with that son of a bitch that same night.

[Bricealan]

P. S. I hope he did not kill her later.

[Anonymous]

I will notice a good-looking guy but I won't necessarily go for him.

[jennifer_bloom]

I'm not ugly but I think I look pretty average. My main attraction feature is my honesty and my confidence and kindness.

[Bricealan]

Thank you, Jennifer, and I bet you are a very kind person AND I bet you are very pretty too!

[jennifer_bloom]

thanks : )

[Bricealan]

Jennifer, what I was alluding to, is that women look at men for their attractiveness, initially, as the 'draw' that a man has for you as a woman, not that as a woman uses her ONLY way to attract men.

[jennifer_bloom]

I believe a lot of women respond to personality and will give a normal guy a chance and a girl said that if a guy has a better personality, he appears better looking to her, and if his personality is bad, he appears uglier to her. I remember there was a guy I always thought was very attractive and one day he was rude to me and after that, I thought he was really ugly.

[Bricealan]

I think you are accurate in that and the attractive man can be 'ugly' in character and changes our vie of him.

[Bricealan]

Wish I could give THREE MHO's