I feel like a hypocrite.. should I even say anything if I used to do it?

[Anonymous]

Last week, a classmate and I reported a student that kept harassing and pushing a kid with Down syndrome. I saw nothing funny about it. I don't know if I even have the high grounds to even do that though. I feel like a hypocrite. Here is my story:

For 3 years (grades 7th to 10th.. all the way till Nov), I gave this girl a hard time because she likes watching cartoons, talking about science fiction and more elaborated medical terms. She had her own interests and I misjudged her. By Nov 2023, it culminated in our first physical fight. I was really the instigator, tried lying to my parents but the video someone else took said otherwise. I got suspended longer than the girl and grounded at home. I had nothing for Christmas as punishment and I was going to miss New Year too. There was no convincing them to let me hang out with friends for the New Year at least for a bit. None

I learned the girl had a study group and is the smartest one in class. Originally I faked an apology, gave her the Christmas present and was using her for the grades, to pass math and the midterm exam. But she really fell for that fake apology and was too nice that I felt bad. It was because of her (she spoke to my parents on my behalf) that made my parents soften up and let me hang out with friends for the New Year but with a curfew. We've been friends (for real) ever since. I guess at some point I'll apologize again since the first one wasn't real.

I feel like a hypocrite though. Was it right reporting it even though I used to do the same thing the guy was doing?

Updates

2 mo

so yeah that's the irony... I reported an obvious bully and I was behaving like that with my now friend in the past

[Lliam]

The fact that you genuinely regret your behavior shows that you are growing up.
It's nice that, without realizing it, that girl helped to teach you.

It would be great if you apologized to her.

Beyond that, it's in the past. It was a lesson that you had to learn. But you did learn. You'll remember it an object lesson for the rest of your life and be a much better man for it.

Don't hold onto guilt, though. Just chalk it up to being young and stupid. I did a lot of stuff when I was young that I regret.

[Asker]

I disappointed my parents when I behaved terribly. Most people might assume bullies get abused or neglected at home. This wasn't my case. I have good, loving parents and was never abused nor lacked anything at home. I've been working on becoming a better person since. Thanks.

[Cutegirl06]

The important thing is that even though you used to bully her you learned that bullying is wrong which is a good thing 💯 You're not a hypocrite. When I was younger I bullied boys especially my little brother. I grew up and realized that it's wrong. I now stand up for my little brother and other boys that get bullied. It doesn't make me a hypocrite but a better person. Stop beating yourself up for what you did in the past and realize that you are now a better person 💯 I'm glad you reported the bullying of the girl with down syndrome.

[Asker]

I'm glad to hear you're doing the same and standing up to others getting bullied. Indeed it's wrong and no one deserves getting bullied. I still want to apologize to my now friend (for real) since my 1st apology was insincere, so that's not really an apology.

[Cutegirl06]

Thanks for MHO

[D_Bonez_nutt]

Ah... the life of us girls. Just us girls here. I prefer when we just talk about our masturbation habits, but there are deeper issues to talk about at times.

[DarkLegacy]

Well done to you for reporting it. When i was in school bullying of the disabled got ignored but then i am from millennial generation. Obvious the person with Downs Syndrome is more vulnerable. Plus you got punished for bullying someone yourself and learnt from it

[Asker]

Thank you and yes I'll never bully anyone ever again. I'm grateful for her friendship. I've just apologized to her again yesterday because I felt bad about the first one. The first apology was fake. This time I meant it.

[firenine909]

You are a hypocrite if you continue behaving terribly. Use this moment to be a better person and to not be so spiteful. Nobody needs that from you

[Asker]

I actually feel awful for how I behaved before. No one deserves having getting bullied nor mistreated. After how I was shitty to her for 3 years and then trying to use her for the grades (initially, not anymore), I didn't deserve her friendship. I have to make it up for her somehow. I hate my first apology since it was insincere. I want to apologize to her (again... the real one) at some point.

[firenine909]

There’s nothing preventing you from apologizing for real. Just tell her you’ve been a shitty human being and wished you could be better for her and hug her.

[Asker]

Ok I will. You're right about that.

[JacobJordan]

Not supposed to answer a question with a question but too bad. Have you learned anything from your mistake and shitty attitude towards someone else?

[Asker]

Yes. I feel so ashamed of the way I acted before. I know I still have to make it up to her for those 3 years I took from her and then for initially (not anymore though) using her for the grades. I'm really sorry about it.

[JacobJordan]

Then you aren't a hypocrite. You made a mistake. One that you admittedly have not yet corrected. You did at least learn from it. Hopefully this person learns from it as well

[Asker]

I'll be hanging out with her and 2 other friends; to the park for a bit and then watch a movie. This is my chance I can apologize for real. If in case she asks why I'm apologizing again (she doesn't know the first one was fake), I'll just say I appreciate her friendship and that I'm sorry for everything before.

[JacobJordan]

Lying again doesn't help. You need to be honest

[Asker]

This time I'm not lying about my feelings in that apology. I'm really grateful to have her as my friend and will never bully anyone ever again.

[JacobJordan]

You said if she asked why you were apologizing again you would say it is because you appreciate her. But the real reason is because you lied the first time and this time you are being genuine.

[HouseMoat]

we need more people like you

You'd be much better as president than that fuckass trump

[Asker]

I was a shitty person before though. I feel awful the how I used to behave before.

[HouseMoat]

Well, at least you're becoming a decent person. Unlike that prick of a person, trump

[laly520]

u r trying to be better anyway

[Asker]

Yes even though nothing will give her (my now friend) back those 3 years I was shitty to her. I had no reason at all, none. I have a good upbringing, was never abused, never lived in poverty, nothing. My parents did their jobs trying to raise me good. I failed them when I behaved like that before.

[laly520]

its fine
we all make mistakes
most importantly to do better n fix em