I finally met a woman who makes me feel comfortable and had an instant connection with. But from the start, she has said I am not the type of man she wants, although the lines have blurred at times with things she has asked. I didn't want to hear it because I like her so much, but I figured I'd rather have her as a friend than not at all because we get on so well.
Things started slow but grew to where we were talking for hours every day. This is not like me, I don't talk to anyone, but with her it feels natural. even the pauses felt comfortable. I have never got on with anyone like her. I know it's not alpha, but I like the support we give each other.
Our relationship has been purely phone-based for a year because we live apart and neither of us tried to change that until a couple of weeks ago.
The day started great, she text me first, and later she called. It was our best chat yet. 2 hours into the call and I mentioned I was going to be in her town soon, so I suggested we should hang out or get lunch. She reacted badly and we had our first disagreement. She said meeting once would change nothing. The call ended awkwardly. A couple of days later she called me, and I apologised for putting her on the spot, she said I upset her but she upset herself too. I asked if we were OK and she said yes. That call was short but still awkward. We went from talking every day to nothing for 2 weeks which has made me soo down because I felt like I lost my best friend, but yesterday she called me out the blue and was talking like she used to. she sent a couple of texts which had her playfulness back too. The calls were short as I was at work and couldn't talk, but I text her at the end of the day and she didn't respond. I text her again today and she replied with a single word and a smiley emoji
What does she want?
Why react negatively to an innocent invite?
Is the friendship over?
Why start communicating again, but later fail to reply to my texts?
How should I move forward?
What Girls Said
She wants someone who lives nearby, so things wouldn’t be long-distance.
When I invited her to lunch, her argument against was the 4 hours travel between us is too far for it to become regular and what difference would meeting once make. So maybe you have something there. But she has said we can't be more than friends, and we've only talked on the phone for a year, why suddenly decide that isn't enough now?
Is she real? Catfish?
She's real. 100%
Dang buddy sounds like you got it bad? Maybe ask her this.
Like stop playing games with me you love me or not? Lol cut to the chase. Stop beating around the bush
Yeah, I do really like her. Tbh she has sparked feelings I have never felt and never expected to feel. But she has told me straight I'm not the type of man she's waiting for and I have baggage similar to her ex's which she can't take on again. I don't understand the psyche of a woman but I don't think she'd be that blunt if she secretly loved me... Would she?
We get on soo well and I don't want to lose that, so I've just been trying my best to just be a good friend to her.
That's good just be a good friend to her. Honestly I dont know. Maybe she's being blunt that way because that's how she truly feels? I wish people start taking things for what it is lately and not what they wish and hope for. Also, continue being her friend. I guess no more writing your feelings out about her on GAG?
I think you are right, she was blunt because thats how she feels, but she has also asked me intimate questions just a few weeks ago which was confusing. But as I've already said, I want to be her friend first because I like and appreciate our conversations and the support we give each other as friends. But my reason for posting this question is I don't understand her actions now, she suddenly turned me off for 2 weeks after we were talking every day for 2 months until I invited her for lunch when I'm in town, then put of nowhere she has come back for a 10 minute call but hasn't responded to my followup texts! It's all soo confusing. Maybe I should just stop overthinking and accept however it plays out.
I think so too. Maybe she doesn't want to actually meet up with you? Or scared? Too shy? Whatever it is. Dont force it. Have her suggest a time to hang one day? If she stalls that's how she feels
Yeah, I won't be inviting her again if she starts talking to me again. Not after how badly she reacted. But she could have just said no and that would have been OK. I don't understand why she's distanced herself from me because of it, unless she confused the invite of lunch for dinner. To me they are very different. Friends have lunch and go their separate ways, dates have dinner which leads to drinks and drinks lead to... Which isn't what I wanted. I'll just do my best to carry on and hope things can go back to how they were because I miss her, but I doubt they will 😔