Am I doing the right thing?

[RILEY1982]

I put a lot of effort in with a girl but I got fed up keep chasing her. Now she goes quiet when I enter the room. I’m not trying to be a jerk but I got frustrated so I went quiet to see if she would put any effort in to start a conversation but she hasn’t.

[StellaElvoris]

I had a guy friend in high school who was in a similar situation. He tried to talk to me whenever he had the chance and would put in quite a bit of effort into making me smile. At first, I thought he was just being friendly until literally the entire class shipped us, and a friend often pointed out to the signs that showed his potential interest in me, which made me feel awful because he was this amazing guy, but I just didn't feel the same way about him, and didn't want to call him out on it or anything, so I began distancing myself from him, from sitting at a different table to not engaging as much as before in our conversations, then finally saying that he's a great friend. He seemed really upset about that, and it killed me every time when I saw how sad I'd made him, but I couldn't think of a better solution.

I'm not sure if the girl you're describing is in a similar situation, but I'd encourage you to think of whether her behavior has changed during the time you'd known her. Has she grown quieter, or has she always been this reserved?

[RILEY1982]

I’m distancing myself from her see if she puts in the effort but at the minute she just goes silent when she sees me.

[RILEY1982]

She is behaving quite passive aggressive towards me.

[StellaElvoris]

I'm sorry to say this, Riley, but she doesn't sound like a very nice girl, and you deserve someone better than her...

[Maybehislady67]

Whats considered a lot of effort?

[RILEY1982]

When I start all the conversations I ask how her day or weekend was/is and never get asked it back.

[Maybehislady67]

I don't think she's actually interested.

[Maybehislady67]

She's just nice. But she's not giving you the time of day. Sir. Move on

[Anonymous]

Hey, you made an effort and didn't get the response you wanted, so its time to move on.