How do you not get offended when a girl thinks she can do better then you?

[Anonymous]

Like I have been great to this girl never called her names, never physically harmed her. I have always did things that showed how thoughtful I was about her such as letting her use my car when hers broke down when she had to get to work. She has called me all sorts of names, her sister threatened to kill me in my sleep and had borderline personality disorder, she has smacked me in the back of my head twice and has gotten up in my face to provoke a physical confrontation. She has me out to be a horrible person to her friends and family. She actively uses my autism against me saying that if she was dating a normal guy he wouldn’t do repetitive phrases or make weird noises, she also dislikes that I listen to rock music and watch horror movies

[Sonorous]

Partly why I wouldn't be deeply offended is because I recognize that value is largely relative & subjectively defined. We all have our different preferences for how certain things should be, appear, function, exist, etc. And I'd remember that agreeing with someone's opinion isn't a prerequisite for their opinion to be valid or true. The validity & truth will be based on other things outside my control.. So I must flow with the current if I don't want to drown.

I'd also remind myself that their feelings are always valid. And that if they feel negative emotions, I can't change that & they're not inherently bad to have. But in your case, it's more. They're abusive towards you. Mainly aiming to tear you down. So I'd definitely try to distance myself from them & surround myself with more empathetic people.

Here are some perspectives that may help you:

• "Stop looking for love in the same place you lost it."

• "Life is like a puzzle. Don't waste your time trying to place people where they don't belong."

• "When you start seeing your worth, you'll stop seeing people who don't."

• "It's actually a blessing when people expose their true intentions."

• "Sometimes the person you want doesn't deserve you."

• "When you let go, you make space for better things."

• "Silence is the best answer to someone who doesn't value your words."

• "If they aren't doing anything to make you stay, maybe they're waiting for you to leave."

• "You deserve someone who thinks you're too important to lose."

[Pacquet]

She sounds unhealthy. I would do my best to stay away from her.

As for not being offended I'd say it's inevitable but what helps me in situations similar to your own is realizing the conditions they were raised in for them to act in the way they do towards me. In other words it's unresolved trauma.

[Rockstarrrrr]

I mean it has to hurt a little because nobody likes to hear they're undesirable but it seems to me you're the one who can do better lol

[LiamJHayden]

Why would I get offended? Of course she can do better. So can I.

[JessieG850408]

You don't have to put up with that. Move on to greener pastures. No one should be treated like that.