Have you ever met any so called 'covert narcissists'?

[Still-alive]

We all know about the more overt types of narcissists. you can usually spot them a mile away. but the covert types are a bit harder to detect. They tend to be female but obviously males can display these as well.

The big sign for me is when they seem to play the perpetual victim. always seeming to need to be rescued.

Note: please this is not a women bashing topic. Go somewhere else for that. im just trying to see if anyone else has encountered these types before.

I do personally know people in my life that meets this definition

I used to know people like this but i no longer talk to them

I actually dated one (or more)

I used to be like this myself actually

I'm still like this. ill fess up!

I've never known anyone described like this before

[GOLDFISH_smile]

I just wanna mention I'm pretty sure that there's a huge difference between covert narcissism sensitivity/anxiety and the regular kind. Like "I hate it when you joke about that." vs "i guess you just enjoy hurting me!" Narcissists manipulate/guilt people into never criticizing them. It's not narcissistic to be sensitive. It's narcissistic to shame people (who care about you, so they care if they hurt you) into complimenting you and supporting your beliefs without question.

[Still-alive]

Of course. for covert narcissism there needs to be way more traits than that to be applicable.

[CubsterShura]

I have a suspicion that one of my exes was a covert narcissist. But I surely know that another ex of mine was DEFINITELY an overt narcissist. Good thing I stayed out of dating for a bit and took this time to heal from all the damage they have done to me and educate myself on narcissistic abuse in relationships so that I can spot red flags more easily.

[goaded]

What's it called when they're not self-deprecating? Maybe more outgoing?

1, 2, 5, 7, 8, 9, from the first list?

[goaded]

and 10.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

I used to know people like this, may be relatives or former friends.

[thegreenyogi]

Yes my last relationship included one of those. Most of the time I found myself being unhappy most of the time and really suffering because my partner had so many issues and one of those was comparing himself to others, being extremely judgmental and I couldn't really tell him how I truly felt or what my honest opinion was without him being triggered somehow and lashing out. So not fun.

[Nikki1989]

Great, another catchphrase the online trolls will spam websites with.

First time I ever heard of this.

[Still-alive]

its not merely a catch phrase. it is a real phenomena www.healthline.com/health/covert-narcissist

[Kayla45]

Wait a second... why does some of those traits eerily sound like something that I would have?

No way.. 💀

[Kayla45]

Well I'll admit, I'm sensitive to certain criticisms and basically an introvert in every sense of the word.. ^^; ah how lovely thanks for the new terminology.

[Still-alive]

Well you come across as a genuinely nice woman to me hehe.

[Kayla45]

I really try to be honest, just sometimes I don't particularly know exactly what to say to people in certain situations. Stage fright I suppose?

[Still-alive]

I can appreciate full honesty personally. Maybe in a way you still want to people please? you don't want to risk hurting the other persons feelings for your honesty

[Kayla45]

Well the thing is, when I'm overly blunt and to the point I have found out that more people often disagree and even block me for it. So I've kinda just learned to be a people pleaser through that experience.

I still want to offer what advice I can though, I love adding opinions to people's questions, well... Questions I feel like I can answer that is. Don't wanna claim to be a know-it-all or anything like that...

[menina]

No, I can't say that I've ever met a "covert narcissist".

[Still-alive]

You’re lucky

[menina]

In that sense, yes I guess I am.

[Spongebobssocks]

Yup I know one who is even diagnosed with it.

[Reem12345reem]

yes , I've met a lot , and im thankful that i immediately recognize them

[Lucy68]

One of my exes

[artgorgeous]

See them every day. In a mirror 😂