Does this girl like me (I am also a girl)?

[Anonymous]

I have a crush on this girl (I am also a girl), and I am unsure if she has feelings for me. We both have similar personalities and interests, which is why I think I am attracted to her. She is also a bit androgynous, which I like. Prior to this, I had never been very interested in other girls, but I suspected that I was at least bisexual. I have a feeling that she may be gay in the way she talks, carries herself, etc. It is hard to explain but I get a strong feeling that she is not interested in guys. Furthermore, we know each other relatively well, but I do not hang out with her apart from where we work together in college. Being that this is all new to me, I am unsure of what to think.

Reasons why I think she may like me: I have caught her staring at me a few times. Sometimes she asks me questions regarding things she could figure out for herself. When we are looking over documents for work together, she stands very close to me. There was a time I was staring at her whilst she was talking, and she lost her train of thought for a moment. She seems very comfortable around me, and happy to see me.

Reasons why I am unsure: She doesn't reach out to me apart from when we work together. She has a friend whom she is very close to and they share a dorm together. They may just be roommates and close friends, because she doesn't talk about her like they are in a relationship. Still, she is her only close friend, so I am not sure.

I would like to get closer to her, but I am unsure if it is even worth trying. What do y'all think?

[Oliverlogan263]

It sounds to me like she might be into you too! Here are some signs that make me think she could be crushing:

- Catching her staring is a BIG one. People don't hold eye contact that long with someone they're not feeling.

- Asking you questions she could figure out herself is her way of striking up convos and getting your attention.

- Standing real close when you're working together - she's finding excuses to be in your space.

- You staring at her made her lose her train of thought? Yeah, she was probably blushing hard inside!

As for not reaching out otherwise, she may just be shy and nervous since you're both new to this. And her friend could totally just be a friend - don't count her out yet!

I say you gotta make a move girl! Ask if she wants to study together sometime or grab coffee after your shift. Flirt a little - brush her arm, compliment her. Give her an in to see how she responds. You've got nothing to lose! Worse comes to worse, you'll know and can move on. But from the sounds of it, I bet she's feeling you too. Go get your girl!

[teamvic]

Hmm you see the problem, and I don't mean it in a bad way but when it's two girls , especially with a girl who's use to dating guys. Since the approaching thing is usually a guys job, it's possible in your case both girls are waiting for the other to approach 🤔😂 but that's just a guess for me. But what I'm trying to say it, why don't you just ask her to hang out? Maybe she's waiting for you? Could also be Maybe not but since both of you guys are girls there's little risk to it since if it were a girl and a guy it would look like something else. If it's Teo girls, it could at the very least look like if it's just two friends which is kinda what you want in the event that she's not interested you can easily hide your intentions

I can't say if she likes you or not because both sides seem like very small signs, that could mean nothing

[Anonymous]

I think she likes you. Why don't you ask her if she'd like to have a drink or something to eat with you sometime and see how it goes?

My girlfriend is a little androgynous/tomboyish too so at first I thought she wouldn't be interested in guys but asked her to have a drink and bite to eat with me, we enjoyed each other's company very much and our relationship developed from there

[_Maya_]

Well bi girl here and that is one of the hardest things to know if another girl has romantic feelings or friendship type feelings. One of you has to make a move. Only problem in your situation is that you work together. If you make the wrong assumption and she isn't bi or doesn't have those sorta feelings you could really mess up the workplace relationship you have going. Is there any indication she is into girls? I wouldn't count her having a girl as a roommate as a sign. This is a really tough situation and I would always lean towards she is just friendly with you without the romantic feelings.

[Asker]

Yeah, it is really tricky... :/ The bummer is I am really interested in her, but I don't want to force it or ruin our dynamic, especially since we work together.

She dresses very androgynously, but other than that, I just get a good feeling that she is gay. It's one of those situations where you are confident that it's the case, but you can't prove it yet (hopefully that makes sense). Also, for the roommate, I meant it more as an indication that they may be in a relationship -- hence -- I should be wary about flirting with her if she is taken. Her roommate is queer, so that's why I suspected they may be together. Yet by the way she talks about her, it seems like they are just close friends.

I agree with you, it is definitely a tricky situation. I highly doubt she would initiate anything else, so maybe it would be best to lean towards her being friendly.

Thank you for the help!

[_Maya_]

You are welcome and yeah totally agree this is super tricky situation. With the extra info you just gave good chance she might be bi or gay. The only thing I can think of is asking her if she wants to meet up outside work. That can be taken as a friends thing too. At least then you might pick up on some signals that she would otherwise not want to show at work. Just an idea.

[BigDog1989]

Have you ever been with a girl?

[_Maya_]

@BigDog1989 Are you asking me? Yes I have a girlfriend currently. Before that was a guy and in college was a girl. First relationship ever was a guy. So two each as far as serious relationships go.

[BigDog1989]

So now that gay marriage is legal. Do you think you'll ever marry "gay" or "marry straight"?

[_Maya_]

If I meet the right person yeah. Who knows. This one could be it. I am just not thinking about that too much right now. Focused on getting my master's degree and starting a career. Whether it be a guy or girl I am open to getting married.

[BigDog1989]

So if you marry a guy, you'll "marry straight" and officially "become straight", but if you marry the girl, you'll "marry gay" and officially "become gay"

[_Maya_]

That is not really how that works. There is a misconception that being bi means I need both genders. Look at it like this... I date the person and not what they have between their legs if that makes sense. I will always identify as bi. If I marry a guy I am not going to ever decide I need to go back to girls. I commit to one person and one only. Just depends on gender.

[BigDog1989]

My cousin's gay. She's not married

If you are bi, you get married to a woman, you "become gay" if you marry a guy you "become straight"

GAY MARRIAGE IS A THING NOW.

[_Maya_]

Well aware gay marriage is a thing. Let me ask you this. Do you consider me bi from what I have told you since that is how I identify?

[BigDog1989]

Nope. I think right now, you just want "attention", and "money"

[_Maya_]

Huh? Attention and money? Do you have even the slightest grasp on sexuality? I fear you don't. Because according to you what defines me as either gay or straight is a court document (marriage licesnse). That in your own words either determines if I am gay or straight. That is probably the most flawed logic I have ever heard of tbh. I am just going to mute this because there is no sense in arguing with someone that has such a warped view on sexuality.

[_Maya_]

Sorry asker but this just isn't worth arguing with this guy over what bisexual is. Hope I helped though.

[BigDog1989]

I dont want marriage at all. I'm just saying "marriage is a piece of paper". THATS ALL. And once you marry a woman, you're gay, and once you marry a man, your'e straight, as a bi person. or whatever you call yourself

[Charliefretz329]

So if Maya marries a woman and becomes gay vs. Bi, and then divorces and marries a man and becomes straight vs gay, and then marries another girl to add to their relationship, she becomes a gay straight? Or a straight gay?

[Charliefretz329]

Or is she forever straight or gay?

Please explain, I’m taking notes so I know the truth for sure

[BigDog1989]

@Charliefretz329 That's my point. She's basically saying, because divorce is a thing, she can always become "straight" or "gay", as a "bi" or whatever the fuck she claims she is

[Asker]

I appreciate the help, and completely agree with you on that.

[BigDog1989]

thank you

[Riribichri]

Why do u like her? What do u mean androgynous? She looks like a guy?

[Asker]

In terms of her personal style and characteristics (i. e., she dresses androgynously).

[Asker]

And yes, I do like her.

[Riribichri]

Ohhh how does she look

[gabe10]

There’s only one way to find out which is to ask! However you do need to be careful in case she is straight and homophobic so it’s best to bring the topic of lesbians up to see what her reaction is.

[Twalli]

Get closer, even if you don't mesh sexually, you have a new friend.

[OfDeath]

If she is also a lezzo, chances are.

[BigDog1989]

are you gay or bi?

[Asker]

I am bisexual, but I think the correct term for me is "bi-curious," since I've never been with a girl.

[BigDog1989]

Then you're not bi. you just think you are because you "have been hurt"

[Asker]

Hmm... That doesn't make sense in my case.

[Riribichri]

True

[BigDog1989]

@Riribichri What's true

[BigDog1989]

And yes, it does

[Asker]

Perhaps in some cases, but I can tell you that in MY case, I am not doing this because I "have been hurt." I am bi-curious because I am interested in/curious about having a romantic relationship with someone of the same sex. Bi-curiosity is simultaneous to bisexuality. If someone is bi-curious, they are under the impression that they may be bisexual. This is the layman definition of being bi-curious.

Given this, do you have any advice pertaining to my situation?

[BigDog1989]

You're not bi at all. If you were, you would have been with a girl by now. YOU ARE FAKING IT, FOR ATTENTION

[shades777]

lesbian, yick