Girls, is it true for you that once you know a man is taken he's more attractive to you? And guys have you noticed women noticing you more when taken?

Question

So after reading a few articles like this one apparently women find taken men more attractive because "When a man is chosen as potential partner by someone, it tends to mean he is “higher quality” than all the other dudes who are single. Clearly, he has some endearing qualities that appealed to his girlfriend, which makes other women around take notice and want to be with him as well." This article quotes from a study:   which finds that men who have girlfriends receive something called an  “attractiveness boost”  and are suddenly perceived as hotter than they’d normally be. “Women in our study found men’s faces more attractive if other women had given that face high ratings. But the same goes for pictures of abstract artworks... Women appear to copy the mate preferences of other women, but this might simply be because humans have a general tendency to be influenced by the opinions of others.” So in any case, girls have you found taken men more attractive than single men? And guys have you noticed women noticing you more when you are taken? I gotta say that in my last relationship i definitely noticed women being friendlier with me. i don't know if thats attraction or maybe im 'safer' to talk to now? i dunno man lol. human behavior is interesting and confusing at the same time. Keep in mind im just talking about attraction. im not talking about if you'd actually do anything about the attraction such as cheating or something. JUST attraction.

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

Actually it's a MAJOR TURN OFF 🤨!

AS soon as I discover a man has a girl I become distant and put extra effort to make certain I don't come off as a little too friendly.

This is true even if I was extra cool and buddy buddy with a guy or even if I had a secret crush on the guy. If he gets into a relationship I will pull back.

NOW what is a MAJOR TURN ON is an attentive loving single dad with full custody... That pulls at my heart strings!

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

Not at all. I have met men and women who are like that though, they find taken people more attractive. But I’m not one of those women, never have been.

TRUPTGD · Answer

I think the vast majority of these answers aren't understanding the specific question. Everyone is talking about how they might act toward someone once they find out that person is in a relationship or about how they would never cheat, etc.

The question specifies that it has nothing to do with whether or not you would think to pursue the person who is dating someone else and it's not even talking about if you imagine being with that person or hope to date them "if they ever become single again."

I think the question is really just trying to uncover if we intrinsically value a person more if they are with someone else.

For straight women, it might be better worded "Have you ever found out that a man you knew was dating, engaged or married and ended up kind of... looking at him differently... perhaps, with more value, after finding that out? Not necessarily, 'do you want him to break it off so you can date him?'

I think that--now, obviously I'm male, so I'm not an authority, but, at least in my experience--this happens far more with women looking at men differently if they're in a relationship. I think there are kind of specific circumstances also though. It's not just "any girl" thinks "any guy" that "has a girl" is immediately significantly more attractive.

It seems to me that, on occasion, a girl that has a particular image of a certain guy, thinking that he's not her type or maybe just 'friend' material, may possibly, if that guy starts dating a different girl--especially a girl that the first girl perhaps knows and/or thinks well of--rethink her original position about that guy being 'not dating material.'

Now, I'm not saying she would pursue that guy. I'm not even saying that, if the guy became single again, she would want to try going out with him, but, again, depending on the situation, how she viewed him to begin with, how she viewed the girl that he is dating, etc., she may see him as a more valuable dating possibility than she had before--even if his value in her mind still isn't enough for her to want to try going out with him.

As a guy, however, I feel like most men decide don't really change the way they see women given the same stimulus.

(I hope my answer didn't just make the waters murkier.😬😳)

dynamicyandere · Answer

I seem to get along better with people with good relationship experience, whether they are taken or single.

I believe it’s because us with good relationship experience get each other — while people who are chronically single-and-looking are just on a different wavelength.

Because of this, I seem to vibe better with women who are in relationships already, because they understand me and I understand them.

In terms of how it is when I’m single vs taken, it’s hard to say. I actually think I’ve attracted the most women while I as single. But I also attract women when I’m taken.

But, there are other factors outside of pre-selection that are at play.

When I’m taken, I’m more reserved around girls who aren’t my significant other. I hold back. When I’m single, I put myself out there more and exude a more radiant and carefree energy.

It’s almost like an off-the-market / on-the-market switch.

Or if you’re a gamer, it’s like a charisma debuff / charisma buff. 🙂

ShadezMcgee · Answer

I have experienced more women being more attracted to me when in a relationship. If I had to wager a guess it is because the guy doesn't give off desperate energy or try to hit on them as much as single men. To go with that, it shows a level of stability and pre selection. If a woman sees he is taken, it shows he has a level of value and has potential to be something more down the line.

Now women who are good will not pursue if they learn you are taken. There are some women who get jealous and more persistent despite that fact.

Meropatrick · Answer

I think girls are conforming beings not very pioneering or creative. that stems from them playing a losing game with time and youth. So they chase guys who already have been established as suitable mate. Its like instead of building the house yourself and investing in tools. Why not buy an already built house to save time? A man who is taken already, another girl had already invested time in him that means she found value. Also people like the idea of something forbidden or out of reach. So a man who already had a girlfriend is off the Market.

MiddleAgedClimbee · Answer

I'm only speaking for myself, but I've never felt like anyone noticed anymore after we got married. Certainly received compliments on being an attractive couple, but I never felt like anybody was flirting with me, or wanted me to leave my wife.
I do believe that women get flirted or hit on regardless of whether or not they have a wedding ring on. I've certainly witnessed it.

Aishwarya_0_ · Answer

Actually its always a turn on for me if that man is either black or so much white in skin tone or either he have much greater height than me that he be picking me up with his one arm only. So yeah i would definitely feel jealous of of his wife that she got a really good husband and might be sharing some really good sex time with him. Because Its always a pride for me to be in relationship with a black guy with great height after this i will not ask anything from god. As an indian women i know the culture we have here usually we are housewife and prefer not to work out so we always left with being at home mostly so yeah the sex life is only thing we all indian women desire that should be fantastic but we rarely get that. So if i had chance to have one night stand with either married or single black guy for sure i would love if he could serve himself in my toes with his strong black organ giving me orgasm

Love from aishwarya ❤ 😊

Kabluie · Answer

Some conversations I may mention partner, and usually the subjects tend to get deeper like nothing changed sometimes wider eyes. But I let them know we are in an open/poly relationship if they feel concerned, and that we can have whatever works between us whether friendship or more. That usually works out well if they are single or casually dating, or actually non-monogamous.

beebella · Answer

I've been attracted to taken men before, but I didn't find out they were taken until later on.
Even if I know from the jump a guy I'm attracted to is taken, I rid myself of any ideas of them. 😂
I'm not so much of a skeez that I think I have what it takes to steal someone else's man.

Apple1996 · Answer

Nah If anything it makes me lose attraction towards him

mandyfire98 · Answer

I can find someone physically attractive whether they are in a relationship or not.

bolverk · Answer

Oh I've noticed it, Mate poaching is definitely a thing with women, doesn't matter if they are in a relationship, single or married, you have been deemed suitable as a partner by the woman you're with which increases your attractiveness to other women, and those women how says it doesn't are lying;

jeffend888 · Answer

It's 100% accurate because when a man is taken that means he has already been vetted. A man who is single, especially at a certain age, comes with potential disclaimers.

But if a man is taken, perception says he's not a rapist/murderer (most likely). But the perception is the reality.

menina · Answer

No, knowing that he's taken makes me lose attraction. I don't want to cause a break up. I stay away from him in that case.

alacrity · Answer

Its the confirmation bias, a bit. If you consider yourself attractive because you're taken, then you're gonna 'notice' others trying to get closer more often. In reality, its a mix of you misapplying the actions of others as 'being attracted' , and also putting more emphasis of those instances in your memories. Its the same idea as learning a new word and 'suddenly' hearing that word everywhere

Lisia · Answer

I personally don't have it, but I knew girls who did.

thatshydork · Answer

I’m the opposite. When I know a man is taken, it’s like all feelings of attraction towards him never even existed.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I find that women who are taken, still communicate and treat me more than a friend, this is something we all got to be careful.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

For me, a taken man would be a no-go.

mobiusforniner · Answer

I've had several women hit on me as a married guy. Where were these gals when I was single?

dolemite58 · Answer

yes i have noticed girls being more flirty when i’m in a relationship. if u have a girlfriend it signifies other girls like you so i think it naturally intrigues women.

Girls, is it true for you that once you know a man is taken he's more attractive to you? And guys have you noticed women noticing you more when taken?

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What Girls & Guys Said

I find that women who are taken, still communicate and treat me more than a friend, this is something we all got to be careful.

Girls, is it true for you that once you know a man is taken he's more attractive to you? And guys have you noticed women noticing you more when taken?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

I find that women who are taken, still communicate and treat me more than a friend, this is something we all got to be careful.

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