I sent a message to a woman at my local takeaway shop on Facebook how much I like her but she didn’t reply back. What should I do?

[Samuel-20]

Rather than telling her I like her in person I chose to do it on Facebook so it’s less pressure on her and not as awkward but I got no response. I was very polite and expressed my feelings to her but she didn’t respond which was strange. Should I take this as no or could she still having feelings for me.

[_Maya_]

Unfortunately you do need to take this as a no. I don't know why you find this situation so perplexing. Do you think everyone is going to like you? She probably doesn't really even know you. You likely blend in with the other thousand customers she might see on a given day. Even if it was a hundred a day just think about how unnoticeable someone would be. Trust me I go through the same thing. I bartend part time and see hundreds of people on a given weekend. The same ones could come back the next day and it would seem like all new because I am busy working.

[Samuel-20]

I think she knew I like her since I used to smile at her and make light conversation but I agree I think it is a no.

[HighlyQuestionable]

No, Maya. I think that he assumes that she has the decency and social skills to actually communicate her intentions like a normal person. He took the initiative to express his feelings toward her. There was a time in this world when people would at least show others a shred of compassion and would have either told him she was or was not interested.

I have experienced the same thing multiple times esp. on "Social Media". I try to chat a girl up after meeting and socializing in real life. Someone I am really interested in.

Social Media should have been a new medium for communication between strangers, acquaintances and friends, instead people have become even more clannish and tribal, falling even further into the pitfall of Bacon's idols.

I am loathe to critique one gender separately, but some women these days seem so stuck up and egotistical that they think men are somehow beneath them.

But, Maya, I do agree with you about the amount of time wasted in working menial, soul-draining customer service jobs. What a waste. Serving coffee or fast food to the masses. 'should have an automat for that, as opposed to wasting mortal human years on such pointless, fruitless grunt labor. Our short lives should be spent in more meaningful pursuits.

[OlderAndWiser]

"Rather than telling her I like her in person I chose to do it on Facebook so it’s less pressure on her" Instead of acting confident and assertive, you acted in a way that seems to be timid and lacking in confidence.

"and not as awkward" . . . not as awkward for you.

"but I got no response." Not a surprise. Women like men who appear to be confident and poised.

"I was very polite and expressed my feelings to her" There's nothing wrong with being a nice guy but it doesn't not score many points in the initial chase, especially with younger women.

"but she didn’t respond which was strange." Actually, it's quite understandable.

"Should I take this as no or could she still having feelings for me." Take it as a 'no.'

[HighlyQuestionable]

OlderandWiser... No... No it's not understandable! One of the basics for human communication is "question and response".

A person who asks a reasonable question is ENTITLED to a response.

Yes "ENTITLED".

We used to expect certain things as "norms" in this society.

No one, Male or Female is so superior to another that they cannot be bother typing either two or three letters.

[OlderAndWiser]

@HighlyQuestionable You are talking about the way people "ought" to be, and I don't disagree with you. But my response was based on the way people actually are today.

[Flatmanlewis]

Honestly, I think that you think your being polite and considerate and ‘less awkward’ but in every way this seems more awkward. You’d have been better just being straight up and direct. “I hate that I only see you when your working. I’d love to get to know you better. Would you like to meet up when your not working?” or something like that. It’s confident and direct. A.) At least you know right off the bat if she’s interested. B.) It isn’t some scaredy cat way of beating around the topic.

[Samuel-20]

Very good point, if I could do it all over again this would have been the better option.

[scentoflavender]

You put the ball in her court. She declined to engage. It sucks. But that's life. Good job on trying. Maybe the next one will get some traction.

[NathanDavis]

leave it alone...

also, lose that idea that "she could have feelings for me"

you can't assume stuff like that.. that's creepy

[HighlyQuestionable]

Yes, him considering that someone might have feelings for him is so "creepy"

My god, do you people actually "hear" yourselves?

[NathanDavis]

@HighlyQuestionable it is creepy as fuck...

he is not considering, he is assuming...

considerations are based on actual thoughtful encounters... and not just a "smile" that someone might feel just casual

[HighlyQuestionable]

NathanDavis :

He said "could" that assumes nothing, "could" hopes.

You've probably not spent much time alone, have you?

Never felt that longing to "connect" with someone.

Never hoped that the smile that "she" flashed may be the omen of a long dreamt of path to happiness.

You're all too d*mned casual, while someone is emotionally dying.

[NathanDavis]

@HighlyQuestionable never been as desperate as you sound, no

I actually have experience, relationships and a healthy approach to, and with women, unlike you... so again

do not assume anything as far, especially when you no experience whatsoever other than feeling desperate about someone

that's not helpful nor healthy

[gorydetails]

You talked to her in the most pussy way possible. Grow a pair and ask girls out in person. You immediately turned her off.

[Samuel-20]

Probably by the looks of it or maybe she was just not interested to begin with. I do agree I should have asked her out in person.👍

[HighlyQuestionable]

I have a comment, but why bother?

[gorydetails]

@HighlyQuestionable You just bothered to be dramatic.

[Lara_Croft]

Possibly but don't chicken out next time. Do it in person it shows you're a confident man

[spartan55]

Dude, don't do that shit online. It makes loom like a teenager.

[spartan55]

*you look like

[HighlyQuestionable]

Then what the h*ll is the point of having "social media" if you can't use it for social purposes?

[RealMarek]

It’s a “no.” Move on, there are other women.

[Samuel-20]

Yes I have moved on now but it’s still hurts.

[Samuel-20]

I can accept when someone is not interested so I will move on to the next.

[RealMarek]

Yeah, I get it. It never feels good when they’re not intersted.

[Anonymous]

I would not want a guy to approach me this way, but it's a no.

[Katoro2020]

Wait a few days and if she still hasn’t responded then it’s time to move on

[007kingifrit]

that's not a place to do that, you ask for a number

[Anonymous]

Accept it unless you have a wish to get a dawn chorus from the MeToo firing squad

[midnightmoon05]

Move on.

good job being brave!

[Samuel-20]

Thanks.

[HelpfulWoman]

its still mega awkward and get the fucking hint

[Samuel-20]

Yes I have now.

[sunflower00]

I would absolutely take it as a no and move on

[Samuel-20]

Part of me says yes and another no so I’m still undecided.

[sunflower00]

I’m afraid I don’t see why a part of you is still clinging on, it’s definitely a no

[HighlyQuestionable]

Samuel, I know it's hard to hear, but you and I both know the truth (I learned it the hard way: 32 years single)

The truth is that women who think they are above communicating a response don't have the social skills to be in a real relationship anyway.

I know you probably already have a touch of emotion for her.

You could always just ask her outright, if you think there is a chance that she didn't notice your message.

[jazlin]

That's a no. I'll advise you to move on.

[Samuel-20]

Well nobody knows for sure..

[boggboss]

Take it as a no

[boggboss]

And no its not that strange mate people don't tend to respond to strangers saying how much they like them

[Samuel-20]

I have.