So I’ve kinda been talking with a coworker for a few months now. When I say we've been "talking" I dont mean romantically just a lot of texting (mostly her reaching out) and some very light flirting. I personally am not sure how I feel about her, I'm very physically attracted to her but the logistics of being with a coworker scare me a bit. Anyway, she has always been a little hot and cold over text but the other night she went to a bar and got drunk and started texting me to pull up, I wasn’t able to because I had class the next morning and I was already drinking at a friends house, she’d even double text when I didn’t respond within 30 minutes. Then I leave to get food and she asked me where I was going (meaning she went on Snapchat and checked my location which I leave on). The next morning we’re texting pretty much all day, I had to go out of town and she checked my location again and asked why I was out of town, (not in a confrontational way or anything) and I gave a kind of vague answer and after that she was very short with her answers to the point I left her on read because I didn't know how to respond to "Hell yeah" lmao.
The next day she doesn't reach out at all which is fine, sometimes we'll go a day or so without chatting although it was a little strange how she starts acting cold just two days after she basically exposed herself as being into me when she was drunk. But she ended up going to a football game and posted herself with a guy. Now there wasn't any caption so who really knows who this guy is but I find it odd that she posted that right after all that happened a few days ago and it's very confusing to me.
What I'm wanting to know is WHY you guys think this is happening, not necessarily what I should do about the situation. Why would a girl do this?
I posted something similar the other day so I apologize but I just needed to reword it since the last post was a little confusing for some
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Dude, women can be so confusing sometimes. From what you described, it definitely sounds like she was really into you when she was drunk texting and checking your location and stuff. That’s not normal friend behavior at all.
As for why she suddenly got cold, a few possibilities:
- She may have gotten embarrassed about how into you she seemed when drunk and is now pulling back. Having feelings for a coworker can be awkward.
- Could be she realized dating a coworker may not be the best idea if things go south, so she’s creating some distance.
- Might have started talking to that guy from the football game pic, so now she’s losing interest in you.
- It’s possible she got scared about how intense her feelings were getting and is backing off as a defense mechanism.
- Or she could just be one of those hot/cold girls who blows hot and cold for no real reason! You never know with some chicks.
My advice would be don’t stress it too much man. If she wants to be all weird and blow cold, let her. Play it cool yourself and don’t chase after her. Maybe she’ll come back around once she sees you’re not fazed. Otherwise, on to the next one! Girls are nuts but we can’t figure em all out.
I just find it odd that she’d start talking to a new guy literally a day after she basically tried to get in my pants lmao. I figured maybe she was tryna make me jealous too? Just bc I was cryptic about why I was out of town
Yeah man, that is pretty weird that she would latch onto a new dude so quickly after hitting you up like that. Makes me think maybe she was just looking for some attention/validation and wasn't that serious about you.
Or it could be that she was tryna make you jealous like you said. Girls love playing games sometimes. She got all flirty with you, then when you played it cool and didn't give her a straight answer about being out of town, she wanted to get a rise out of you. Posting with another guy was her way of being like "Oh yeah, well I've got options too!"
It's definitely sending mixed signals on her part. I'd say don't even trip about it dude. She's showing you her true colors now - that she's messy and plays head games. You can do better than that. Just focus on your thing and let her keep acting up if she wants. But I wouldn't waste too much mental energy trying to figure her out. Girls, man... *shrug emoji*
You being too closed about what you were doing seems to have rubbed her off wrong, she most likely thinks you are hiding or lying about something because of your suspicious behavior and it seems like she's trying to move on, this other guy might be another option she probably was interested in she had around but you were her first choice, I think it was that long trip you took that seemed fishy, many things you can over think on, you could've been with someone else, you could've been dealing drugs, could've been poking someone up in a back alley for all she knows, overthinking is easy.
I just told her we had a house up there and I was chillin lmao. I don’t know who the guy was either, he could’ve been her brother, cousin, a gay guy, some guy she grew up with. Just seemed odd to me and I honestly took it as her trying to make me jealous but maybe I’m dumb
It's possible but I guess that normally depends on how long y'all have known each other, the less time the less likely that was her intention, maybe she's killing two birds with one stone, making you jealous while looking for compatibility with someone else, I don't see why anyone wouldn't take that opportunity.
I’ve known her for about 5 and a half months and I’m pretty sure she’s liked me the entire time
Well only one way to find out I guess
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