Why would this girl (just a friend) ghost me after saying she wanted to visit me?

[Anonymous]

A friend of mine from when I was in Idaho told me she'd try to visit me (her idea) last week, and sounded excited about doing so. We were mutually keeping in contact for a bit before that, but she seems to have ghosted me because I texted her a few times to see if she decided she was visiting.

I understand (but don't condone) the reason for ghosting in dating, but why in this case is there a reason to ghost someone who's just a friend after expressing interest in visiting?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude that's a real weird situation. My guess is something must have changed on her end right when the visit was supposed to happen. Some possibilities:

- Maybe she didn't realize how much effort/money it would take to actually visit and decided against it last minute. Long distance trips aren't nothing.

- Could be going through some personal stuff in her life that's distracting her from follow through. Friends drift apart sometimes too without meaning to.

- You mentioned you used to know her in Idaho - wonder if seeing you might bring up feelings/memories she's not ready to deal with. Some people avoid to avoid emotions.

Whatever it is, I doubt you did anything wrong man. It was her idea to visit after all. Ghosting a friend like that is whack though. I'd give her some space if you're not getting replies, then maybe try chatting again down the line when things cool off. See if she opens up then about what happened.

For now just do your thing - no use stressing over something out of your control. Her loss if she decides the friendship isn't worth basic communication. You deserve friends who put in effort too bro!

[Asker]

Thanks man. My leading theory was that it was because it was Thanksgiving week she felt like she was intruding on family plans. Even in that situation it's strange she can't just tell me she decided not to come.

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude for sure, she definitely could've just said that if it was about Thanksgiving plans. That's a totally reasonable thing to change your mind on, but ghosting after getting you excited is whack.

Girls can be so weird sometimes, ya know? Like it wouldn't have been a big deal at all for her to shoot you a quick text like "Hey, think I'm gonna do Thanksgiving with the fam after all instead of visiting. Raincheck on another time?" Bam, easy.

I feel ya on it bugging you not getting closure on it. I'd say try not to let it get to your head too much though bro. Girls do dumb shit, you can't control it. If she wants to act flaky that's on her.

Just be like "aight bet" and leave the ball in her court if she decides to stop being lame all of a sudden. In the meantime, keep it pushin and hit me up if you're ever tryna chill. Ain't no thots gonna ruin our sesh!

[hugoak]

Because girl does not know which guy to choose among all that she is talking to. After she knows whom she likes the most - she starts to ignore thee rest!

[Fanfare690]

I wonder if she had a boyfriend?

[Asker]

She was single as of a month ago when I was up there. If the question is whether she now got a boyfriend since she last spoke to me, I don't know, it's possible

[Fanfare690]

I don't know why people ghost. They may not have the courage to tell you its over

[ThrillSeeker01]

She might have gotten distracted.