Why do most girls Have the grass is greener syndrome in them?

[Finchie40]

Through my experiences with girls’ and what I witnessed with other couples , it seems Females’ always find flaws in their partner , to give them an excuse to leave or cheat on her partner , Like nothing he does is ever good enough , she will be head over heels for him in the beginning , and then out of nowhere she decides she needs something better , complete opposite of what she already has right in front of her. Why can’t I find a girl , that values a relationship , that wants to be by my side the same way I want her by my side? Through the good times and bad times that life throws our way? Now don’t get me wrong , I find temporary girls’ that claim they want this but they don’t last the long haul? Just the short haul? Why do Girls’s have this selfish mindset? Why does a girl feel she deserves better than what she already has?

Updates

4 mo

I am only speaking of guys’ that actually stand by their girl no matter what , that make her his top priority , it seems girls’ are truly never satisfied

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, I feel you on that struggle. Seems like these days chicks are always lookin for the next best thing instead of appreciatin what they got. But I don't think it's helpful or fair to say ALL girls are like that. Some thoughts:

- Social media has people constantly comparin their lives to highlight reels. Grass always looks greener.

- Could be they got commitment/trust issues from past relationships too and self-sabotage good things.

- Or maybe we dudes don't always see things from their perspective either and there's real issues we not notices.

- Takes work to keep that spark alive long term from both sides too, can't blame just one.

Best you can do is focus on bein the best dude possible - loyal, communicate well, make em laugh. Some chicks just ain't wired for long haul but don't give up, my bro. Keep ya head up, you'll find the right one who's down to ride or die wit ya through it all. Don't settle for less than what you deserve either - keep lookin til you find that real one!

[smne35]

Could be the way they're treated, by dudes, I mean some dudes really don't know how to treat or care for a woman goes both ways, true there are the heartless I love you this morning but by lunch it's over I hate you ones and any guy that stand by those women are inexperienced, sprung on the cat and or desperate or all 3

[antelope51]

That evolution thing. Females are seeking the best traits, and by selecting people with different traits instead of monogamy, they're creating a greater and more diversified gene-pool.

There's also the attachment factor - a female's role as mother means she needs to be there (with or without paternal support) to take care of her children, make them autonomous, and then they leave to go out on their own. So her interest in caring for someone is limited by how "new" it is. Babies need a lot of attention, and as they grow, they need less and less until they go away as adults.

The idea of monogamy and death-do-you-part was a concept introduced by the church ~1100 AD with the first Crusades. Before that, you had hand-fasting that could be broken as easily as it was created, bastards were a common thing nobody blinked an eye at (or cared about), and if the kids made it to 7 years old, they were fostered out/apprenticed to someone as slave labor to learn the skills needed for society. Nobody was their own.

In pedigreed dog-breeding, the rule of thumb is, unless a mating produced absolutely exceptional puppies in every way, you do not repeat that cross, and you seek a new M/F combination to keep diversity in the breeding population. The goal is to always produce something that will improve the breed, not simply breed the "monogamous married couple" because they live together and they're your two dogs. You may love them both, they may like each other, but they're not going to produce quality puppies that way... just average.

So... a lot of reasons for this phenomenon are purely evolutionary/animal-behavior science.

[sage2021]

See, since I am a well seasoned woman in age, I have seen it both ways.

Guys were cocky, users for sex, have sex with her, then not call her again. Not sex on the first date but maybe after the second or third date.
Then it was HE that always sreered how the relationship was going to go.

Some guys knew they had a good woman and would tell her he loved her and that he was in it for the long haul. Then they would get engaged.

You have to realize that when a guy called a girl every single day, that meant so much to her.
So, I sujjest that you call her often and throw some old fashioned romantic words get was. Call her sweetie or sweetheart, baby, babe, are you my girl? I love my baby and giver CA big kiss and hug her. Shoe you that you care. Have the florist send some roses - Valentine's Day is February 14th. This is a day you don't want to forget. Buy her pink roses with babies breath mixed. The red one's remember me of dead old ladies. The trick is to have the florist deliver them to her work, not just hand them to her. Otherwise she'll think you got them at the grocery store.
Try some old fashioned stuff and screw what social media says. Ok?

[smne35]

It's nothing wrong with making your girl s to priority you should , but women I can't say all or most women, but many are just not satisfied with what they have seeing another woman riding around in a car one year nee than hers, out hearing of their friends go on about what they have, women just like to have bragging rights, when they get around their friends family they want to be the Barbie, in the hood, and that's cool but when she just finds on and on about wanting more bigger just behind materialistic and trying to make you feel like a loser is time to cut her loose, I mean I'm not materialistic don't lust after it chase money out slow it to control my life it's always been there when I need it, and im not someone who gives a damn about who has what, but I realize that no matter what you do or joke much you provide for some women it's never enough, and who needs that in their life, you can be as wealthy as Bill Gates and still don't women will complain about wanting more, you can't satisfy everyone, especially their greed

[Finchie40]

Exactly , I am not saying all, but a majority of them from what I have witnessed and experienced , always want more than what they have right in front of them , they think they were put on Earth to be catered to , they think they shouldn’t have to keep a job , and think money just grows on trees and that they should be able to spend whenever they want to , if you money gets tight , the guy is automatically the loser in her eyes , and she feels she deserves better , I have witnessed girls’ leaving and cheating on their partner because he lost his job , and wasn’t making the money he use to make , so if she doesn’t feel like she is this princess she will treat him like a joker. Sadly she is a user and most females sadly are users when it comes to commitment, it’s her way it no way

[BabyCEO]

I fully understand you. But the problem is not especially with women nowadays. The answer lies in the evolution. Even back then in the stone age the women chose the most masculine man. A more masculine man was able to steal your woman. There are three types of people: One that has masculine energy, one that has feminine and the last one is the neutral. Today majority of the western relationship are becoming neutral-neutral relationships. The best one that lasts best is a masculine-feminine relation, but neutral-neutral can work sometimes too. If you're too feminine and have a feminine partner this won't end well. The same is for masculine-masculine. Back then in the 20th century 99% of the relationships were masculine-feminine and additionally the social norms and roles supported relationships to last. Nowadays our society is loosing many norms as everything get's accepted and liberal by society, what gives people more freedom to do or don't, like leaving a relationship after a relationship. Don't get me wrong, I don't know you but it can be kinda selfish and unrealistic to wish a wife that stays with you and enjoys your tons of love that you give her. That's not your task. Feminine women maybe other women too want someone to depend on, to trust on in hard times, who can give her a good foundation to build a healthy family. It all starts with an attractive/healthy look, maybe some muscles, a good job, life goals,..., that all indicate that she can depent on you, that you're constantly improving and providing a better foundation for the family. Wishing this all without giving something in return is selfish and you won't find something that lasts. For masculine men the highest priority is the own career after that comes the woman. For feminine woman the highest priority is the man. If you want to get her love, you need to become a masculine men. I hope I helped you a bit with some answers from evolution.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

Why are a lot of men fine with being mediocre and complacent whilst still having this level of entitlement? More often than not women leave because men don’t change unless something significant happens in his life. That’s mainly been my struggle with relationships I like to grow and evolve. Not stay in one stage too long and sometimes I’m outgrowing my partner at a faster rate. If they’re not ready to change then I have to leave. I’ve gotten done dirty too many times trying to help anyone in general get to where I am if that wasn’t where they’re going, they feel outshined and it turned to resentment or a guy going out of his way to hurt me. Now I’ve learned to just leave people where they’re at. If they want to come with they’re more than welcome but if they missed the boat they missed the boat. I don’t know what this is where people are mad that others, particularly women don’t have a scarcity mindset.

[Altheavas]

100% agreed!

[Finchie40]

For any relationship to survive both partners need to make each other their top priority , it’s not about being right or wrong , it’s about choosing each other , You can’t expect someone to choose you if you aren’t choosing them bottom line , Everyone of us has selfishness inside ourselves , if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner , don’t expect them to remove it for you , No one is perfect , we all have flaws , We can’t force someone to love us all we can do is treat someone the same way we hope to be treated in return , again it won’t always be perfect , but when you wear your partners shoes the same way they should be wearing yours that’s where love grows , Selfishness is one of the biggest relationship killers because it’s immature to only think about what is best for yourself , if you want someone to have your back , you need to have their back as well , not the other way around

[Altheavas]

@Finchie40 what if you have their back, and you both love each other. But one’s fear and lack of drive and self improvement is dragging you down. Every choice you make to have a better life is for us. To that person everything else is too much work, too risky, and not possible, never actually work to level up, just settle in time.
The only time you get something out of that partner, it’s when you have no visible strength less to convince or speak anymore. Who is actually selfish in your opinion?
Isn’t it right to move on then?

[Finchie40]

If your partner isn’t taking any initiative to better themselves for both of you , and they are just sitting around not working , not helping around the house or helping with the bills or the chores , not prioritizing your wants and needs and only prioritizing themselves and just waiting for you to make a change and pick up all the pieces that you both broken together , blaming you for every fbad thing that comes your way , and they never apologize and always assume they are right and you are wrong , then yes you have a right to walk away and leave them but if your partner is trying to make things right , and they are struggling or suffering from any kind of depression or sadness or stress. and they are trying to work towards a better future for the both of you and not giving up on the both of you , then you are wrong to walk away from that person , sadly that makes you the selfish person , that only thinks about what is best for yourself. We can easily point fingers at someone else before pointing fingers at ourselves first , when you cannot admit you are wrong , when you can never apologize for your actions. That again makes you a selfish person. Selfishness is sadly one of the biggest relationship killers. We don’t get into relationships to be single , we get into relationships to choose each other hoping to experience love, if you want to be a priority to someone , you have to make them your priority as well, it’s not the other way around. We can all easily be selfish , because we all have selfishness inside of ourselves , you can choose to be selfish all you want , but don’t think for a second your partner cannot be as well. Learn to remove selfishness from inside yourself and treat your partner the same way you want to be treated in return , it won’t always be perfect , but when you choose to stand by your partners ‘ side and lift them up when they have fallen , your partner will more than likely do the same for you.

[Finchie40]

A lot of People reach for happiness every day , not realizing they already have happiness right in front of them , sadly trying to grasp on to something that they don’t have instead of accepting what is right there in front of them. We tend to easily look over what we already have thinking grass is greener on the other side , not realizing if you water the grass you are already standing on it will grow. Unfortunately I was married to a girl that suffered from mental illness , I had a choice to stand by her or walk away , I chose to stand by her , but she eventually chose not to stand by me , until she realized what she had already was better than what she was grasping for. Someone that truly loves you, will not walk away period

[Finchie40]

If they do? Let them go and realize you deserve someone that will not walk away from you period

[Altheavas]

I agree, I think the same way as you do. After all, and from your perspective, and what I’m trying to take away from your points, I am not all wrong with my viewpoints either. Thanks for sharing.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

My interpretation of what you’re saying boils down to men are just upset women are wanting better for ourselves. Y’all are having a hard time coping with reality that there’s more access to other people. I think a lot of men through backwards conditioning think that people are objects. Relationships are transactions. Also with that conditioning comes just because you have a penis that automatically makes you stronger and a provider by default. Therefor you don’t have to do anything else if you don’t want to. Statistically there are less men than women breeding the narrative that women will always need a man for resources so once you reach the goal of getting a woman she’ll never leave bc she needs a resource that probably can’t be provided but dangle the fantasy anyway. All your work is done, improve for why since you already got her? I think men are the biggest offenders of this “logic”. My male friends that date sometimes they’ll stay way longer in a relationship or keep a woman around longer than they should for sexual gratification. Never anything that they want to build with the partner just that they have somewhere familiar to place their dick outside their pants.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

They’ve been confused if one day the girl leaves and asks why? My response were you treating her as an object or a human being. Treating her like a human being (depending on the relationship problem) I’ll tell them straight up you refused to actually grow in that area of life and she was tired of it. Would it have been helpful to have her timeframe yes but at the same time I want you to want to grow so I know it’s genuine not just something to do for a short amount of time for convenience. That’s the thinly veiled selfish antics that’s fine when a man does it but not when a woman does it. Then you want to slander women of how we’re not thinking for the good of the unit and we’re being inconsiderate when most of the time we’re being overly thoughtful. When a man does it it’s not shamed he gets a pass he wants what he wants. I just had a guy ghost me bc I’m not family-oriented and don’t want children anytime soon or in my future at all. Yet he treated me like a girlfriend until that came out I wasn’t budging on that he left but tried to only come back as a sexual option for me. So you see we women are just tired. Men be men and do better.

[Altheavas]

I think each of us kind of steered left a little from the point ya both tryna point. I am with you on your first comment @LuvBRealExotic13 , the objectification of your continuations comments I get them too, and do not tolerate it as well.
Ya both point boiling to immature man/and fuckboys, and immature/ selfish woman.

I sorta relate to both of you to where I’m trying to get is which @Finchie40 answered is the willingness for both parties to be tolerant, understanding, and willingness to improve the lifestyle of each other. If that willingness is being dragged on one side, even though there’s blaming or not, it’s not fair.
I think there should be a fair balance.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

I look at relationships as you both need to be whole and secure. I think that other half nonsense is just that, nonsense. I’m not family oriented but I’m sure as heck goal-oriented. Give me some bullet points and I’ll make flow-chart in no time flat. I want the houses, cars, and be able to travel where and when I want. I guess that’s selfish of me? It wouldn’t be if I met someone in alignment or similar investments. If we’re working to keep our milestones what’s the problem? If one of us falls out of alignment like say my future husband decided he wanted to have kids give me a timeline to make that decision. Say it was a month, knowing me I’m not budging so if that’s a dealbreaker to divorce I wouldn’t be upset.

[Altheavas]

I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting those. Set your bar high and do what’s make you happy. These things gonna be communicated and if not respected, it’s a dealbreaker.

[Luv2BRealExotic13]

@Altheavas

We did go a little left especially since we have different experiences and I commented before he commented. It is about maturity and communication. I try to be upfront as possible with my boyfriends or whatever. This is what I envision for myself looking over the beach or when I’m not there I’m the boss in the board room. Not everyone wants that and I understand but the moment I feel he’s going to hinder whatever I’m working on I will address it and give him a timeline (maybe two weeks). If he feels it’s a problem or tries to lie to me I’ll cut him off and walk away without hesitation. From my experience I’ve been called selfish for that and I’ve gotten to the point I don’t care. I’m doing it for myself because no one else is going to do it for me and once again that takes being whole with yourself knowing what you want and I think that’s a healthy level of selfish. If you don’t love yourself how are you going to expect others too?

[Altheavas]

Yes, and I agree with you on that. I have a vision for myself and I am working on achieve in it. If I was already working on that personal goal and you come along in my life and I updated you of my vision, I don’t want someone to hinder me from going there.
I don’t want someone to dragged me down on my self improvement journey.
I need support from you, not your inabilities in capabilities projecting toward my goals.

Where I shared my opinion and that all my self improvements included him in it, and he will reap the benefits with me too.
If that’s too much for him to handle, and I gotta stay where I am, content, happy or not, not searching for betterment at all.

Then we should be selfish enough, yeah cut them off.

[Finchie40]

Well from what you are saying about yourself as a person , you don’t sound selfish to me, trying to better
Yourself and better your relationship doesn’t make you a selfish person what so ever , , it would only make you selfish if you were using your partner to get where you want to be , and if you eventually get to where you want to be and then throw in the towel on your partner then that’s what would make you a selfish person. A loving partner is supposed to have your back the same way you should have theirs is all I am saying. When you are single and you choose to be single that doesn’t make you selfish either, That makes you independent and trying to make a better life for yourself. Why I only date girls’ nowadays that want to work as a team and not against each other , My ex was a team partner , worked with me for a long time , we had each others backs and lifted each other up when 1 of us fell. Until one day she decided she no longer wanted to be my team partner and decided to be selfish , no longer wanted to work , no longer was I her priority , everyone else started to be her priority over me , and that’s when I knew our relationship was going down the tubes , She suffered from mental illness and as time went on her mental illness got worse and worse , I ended up becoming her punching bag , and her walking ATM machine , she quit working and kept telling me she can’t work , her anxiety is stopping her from being in the world , so as a loving caring husband , I had no choice but to try to get her help , And sadly that was just a temporary fix , as time went on she got worse and worse , she no longer cared about saving money , she would spend any chance she got putting long us completely in a hole once we got in a hole she would blame me and say I don’t make enough money , I am not a real man , I am supposed to work 3 jobs and have no life so she can sit at home and sleep. As much as I was overwhelmed and devastated that she changed on me , I still stood by

[Finchie40]

Her side and tried getting her help , I basically had to get her sent to a psyche ward hoping they could adjust her medications and get her back on track. But sadly all that did was turn her against me even more to the point she ended up cheating on me with a guy she use to work with that always had the hots for her , that was married as well. I busted her red handed and ended it with her. So to me she was a selfish POS person that only cares about herself. I will no longer date a girl that doesn’t want to work with me , I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself , I don’t need another girl to come into my life and bring misery into my life , If she can’t hold a job , and have my back, I won’t have hers period

[D_Bone_Steak]

I think it has a lot to do with their high emotionality (I notice emotional males tend to cheat a lot too). Not just that though... what they think is so pliable... it only takes one person yapping in her ear to change their mind about something or someone.

From what I've seen a lot of their cheating doesn't really start from just the guy, it will be her girl power empowering friend yapping in her ear. It will be the same friend that drags her into places and situations where the "other man" gets introduced into the situation. I've seen it happen a whole lot, first it's the cool new female friend, and then the introduction to the idea of "just talking" to new men.

We dudes are just waaaay more likely to just tell our friend "Naw, fuck that shit bro." A chick that isn't seeking validation from friends like some sort of "friend-simp" will be less likely to just get talked into doing some bullshit or believing some bullshit.

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

You're generalising but people in general are inherently selfish. They have to have a reason no to be and that usually comes from an emotional connection established through sociosexual exclusivity, which includes bidirectional romance.

I would suggest that such a guy who finds girls to be selfish, may be drawn to girls who are at that stage in their life or just have that mindset. I would think dating outside that will show that there are many wonderful women who are not selfish.

I've seen a lot of kind and generous women settle down with selfish men and vice versa. If a generous woman and generous man would only match but then opposites attract.

[HawkPerception]

Because girls get all the attention nowadays. Their egos are fueled by social media and dating apps and they know they can go on their phone and find a guy in minutes willing to date them. That's the day and age we live in. Back in the day we had to compete with one guy named Joe in the other city. Now we have to compete with every Joe named Joe right there on her phone. Girls can't help but find a shiny new thing in the corner of their eyes desiring more when they're in a relationship. Not all... but definitely enough that it needs to be said.

[Anonymous]

Men are just girls fathers when they don't deserve those men. So when he loses her its like he lost his baby and that's more painful than what she is losing. Remember the good man chooses a woman and sees her as his future (babies symbolize the future) .

Babies = Future , Parents = Present and eventually the Past.

NB !!! : I am only referring to BAD girls , I do not intend to send negativity towards GOOD women. GOOD Women you have all my respect, keep up the good work and don't forget to help young women.

[Ms_Facesitter]

This goes for the guys as well. This is why I didn't jump in a relationship, I took months and months of just talking and dating this guy I'm with now so I am sure what both parties are looking for and if we can find that in each other. And time's flying by honestly when you take the time to attract the Greenest Grass from the get go, there shouldn't be any problems :)

[Nikki1989]

Why is it so many men don't realize that THEY could be the problem. Men can't stand to face the reality that they may not be the catch they think they are.

[Finchie40]

I get that, I should of have gave more detail in my question , I am speaking of guys’ that actually value their girlfriend or wife , a guy that stands by her no matter what obstacles they face , it seems females’ give up easier than they do

[DextroShade]

Accountability is kryptonite to modern women.

[Finchie40]

Tell me about it , Most girls’ I have dated that said they want to fall in love and have a guy that stands by them were nothing but hypocrites that made excuses for their selfish actions. I treat a girl the same way I want to be treated in return and it’s usually good in the beginning until she eventually gets bored and thinks she is missing out on someone , I had girls’ dump me and cheat on me for the dumbest reasons , why I no longer jump into a relationship with a girl , cuz most of them don’t really know what they want period

[EmyyWolf]

Nahh, you want Hot Stacy, that’s why she cheats. Cause she’s not for you.

If she wasn’t a hot Stacy, she wouldn’t cheat.

[systemsareyo]

Hmm. I didn't read all the details there, yet hmm. I suppose some women just aren't cut out for relationships. Likewise, some men aren't suitable for monogamy. I guess it takes, "two to tango" and not just any two. To tango 🩰🪩 and tango well ❤️‍🩹

[DextroShade]

It's because of feminism and social media giving women really stupid ideas and beliefs that cause them to rack up their body counts making them utterly incapable of pair-bonding or love. It continues to be a disaster for the human race.

[exitseven]

I think social media is part of it. They look at dozens of guys , most are lying about themselves and become disenchanted with their current relationship and think thay can do better

[MissBoogus]

Been in a relationship for 9 years and this is something I understand… nobody is perfect, far from it. There will be hiccups.. and most of all he’s just human, I just need to see he makes an effort and that’s good enough.

[Anonymous]

I agree, I think the same way as you do. After all, and from your perspective, and what I’m trying to take away from your points, I am not all wrong with my viewpoints either. Thanks for sharing.

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t bother about this anyone reading it.
The answer was supposed to be under a comment.

[KrakenAttackin]

Hypergamy is natural to women and it is amplified by dating apps.

[OddBeMe]

It’s both sides since it’s human nature. But it’s also immaturity.

[Anonymous]

ALL women will cheat given the right guy / opportunity

[slatyb]

It's not girls, it's people.

[GregorSamsa]

If you're worth keeping, she won't move on.

[Anonymous]

That's hardly a female exclusive trait