Can you put yourself in others shoes?

[lightbulb27]

I seem to do this well, although not always with feelings. depends if I put my mind into experiencing their viewpoint.

Is this something you do well. I wonder if it's personality attribute.

Yes I can

No, not easily

Other

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I project myself in other people's shoes all the time, I would say.

I seem to be what some people call informally an "empath" in that I'm one of those types who could be laughing so hard at a party and then if I even spot a stranger out of the corner of my eye who looks very upset and/or lonely, I'll suddenly stop laughing. Friends: "Dude, why do you look serious all of a sudden?" Me: "Look at that person over there. They look so sad and lonely." Friend: "What? You don't even know him/her!"

I get deeply impacted by other people's body language. I sometimes think it's because my parents fought all the time growing up and I learned to anticipate when they were about to fight by paying close attention to their body language and tone of voice so that I could grab my little sister and lock ourselves in our room and play with her to distract her from the yelling outside. I've heard most "empaths" develop this from some form of childhood trauma that required them to be more attentive to other people's emotions.

Another possibility is that after my parents divorced, I ended up in new countries all the time barely able to understand the language people spoke. So I had to learn to pay attention to their body language and tone of voice to at least discern their emotional state even if I didn't understand half the words they spoke.

However, in projecting myself into other people all the time, I don't always accurately read their thoughts. As a prime example, there was a case one time in kindergarten when we were on a field trip and we were getting ice cream and I saw a middle-aged woman trip and drop her ice cream. The other kids pointed and laughed.

Yet I ran up there and offered her my ice cream thinking she must be so upset because I would be if I dropped mine. Also being a little boy, I didn't realize it's gross to offer someone your ice cream after you already licked it. So she smiled and politely refused and it was no big deal for her since she could get another one. Yet I interpreted what happened to her as an adult as though it happened to me, and that was a misprojection.

So I project myself in other people's shoes all the time. I can't help it. But it doesn't mean I accurately understand what they're going through. I just interpret it like what I would think and feel if I went through the same situation.

[V_Injector]

>Be me

>Sneaks into your room and puts your shoes on

>Starts thinking I need to bathe my feet in bleach water.

>Smacks that girls butt and then leaves the room... You will never know I was there in your shoes.

... Time for my theme song.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/30jrmzzgHLc

I smacked her butt dude... it wasn't a ghost.

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

Wow, too easily lol... to my own detriment.. something i am currently working on... its early days but here it is thus far... if i can be empathetic to others then even if the person i am showing this for is acting in a way that is one of the more unattractive traits, lets say. Then without much acknowledgement to my own self, i am relating to that negative trait and in a way accepting that of myself.. if you turn to shadow work which is both in medical psychology and the spiritual realms.. this is where we work on and face all parts of us, seen as the positive and negative. For me its all about finding the balance then the ultimate goal is the infinite space in between.. the moment of the turn of the breath.. anyways this text below made me ponder i am going to take my early theory and question it against each of the archetypes? I would love to hear some thoughts on this... anybody please? xxx

The psychologist Carl Jung popularized the idea of the shadow self, or inner shadow. He defined the collective unconscious with eight different Jungian archetypes:

Self: The center of the personality or psyche — your conscious awareness
Shadow: The dark and emotional aspect of your psyche
Anima: An image of an idealized woman that draws people into their feminine side
Animus: A part of you that has the capacity for reflection and self-knowledge
Persona: The mask you wear to show the world while you protect your inner self
Hero: A part of your psyche that can overcome evil and destruction
Wise old man: A personification of the self that contains your wisdom
Trickster: A childish part of your psyche that needs gratification

[lightbulb27]

probably highly empathic, sensitive. This the root of what hte bible calls "gifts of the spirit" in my opinion. That is... the ability to use the right brain to connect.
I have little background on the last section/question but some of it makes sense. Combine quantum physics with microbiology and psychology, and we are very attuned, connected beings with ability to imagine and project. Also look into "how emotions are made" which has a theory of the "body budget". That feeds from the "inner self"... some of our emotion comes out of our body and thus, food, bacteria, hormones... parasites, and possibly prior imprints from emotional experiences... that may be trauma, curses, oathes... may deeply influence how we feel and how we think. That might be conveyed as well in understanding of auras.
Thus spiritual has meaning and thus to me, Christ, has great meaning.

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

wowzer!! i will be pondering on this for awhile, and oh weirdly but you know? ; ) not weirdly i am currently on a parasite cleanse, wormwood, black walnut, clove, thyme, oregano. im on day 5, 3 times a day, and in the last 24 hours the spinal damage from having an epidural almost 21 years bare 20 days has erupted into pain and spasms so im totally manifesting the heck out of it, its healing me it feels in soooo many ways... well its cleansing the body so it can heal itself, as it should... xxx omg i love this journey!

[ClaircognizantEmpath]

Do you have any particular recommendations for the how emotions are made, body budget? immediately to me, when in the past i would stress with the children, that emotion led to stomach bloating, ibs attack... within minutes... im very sensitive to energies and they have a huge affect on me, still learning ways to cope with that..

[lightbulb27]

There's power in all that sensitivity, I believe. that's the raw stuff of gifts of the spirit. So turn to Christ/God is my opinion and see what fires are lit.
Here's a video on body budget, and there's a book.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gks6ceq4eQ

Emotions just seem to be communicators, maybe it's "tuning". Some can tune better than others. I suspect if you explore "spiritual healing", you'll find some skills didn't know have. If you can tune into them, then you can give "good energy" and tune into them and they resonate. That is how I'd think healing occurs, "supernatural"... which could be understood somewhat with modern science. There's places that teach/explore spiritual: look up "fellowships of the spirit".
www.fellowshipsspirit.org/.../
I've minimal experience with this, but some. There's people studying it, so you can explore.

[D_Bonez_nutt]

>Be me

>Was getting dicked down by Dick Bone from the streets and I'm pretty sure some of the slop falling out of me fell right next to you. I bet you could smell it.

>Some dork was in your room and slapped that girls ass.

>We giggled and stopped fucking in your room.

>I felt bad, hope we didn't wake you up and sorry that weirdo slapped your girl's ass.

[alice55]

I don't think I can, like if I see someone suffering I think oh not cool but then I go around my day as if nothing happened. If I had to put myself in the shoes of everyone I would not be able to live or be happy anymore.

[lightbulb27]

so it doesn't impact you in terms of feelings?

[alice55]

It doesn't

[StudyingAuthor]

I believe I can, I like to look at my own experiences similar to that and imagine how it would feel as them. Not saying I would understand it, but at least knowing what they're going through is important.

[lightbulb27]

That's awsome! Yes, you can relate, we really need to make the most of those abilities in humanity... it's the best of us.

[StudyingAuthor]

thank you.

[Berweic]

My sense of empathy is very high, I can empathize with everyone and everything, and I usually experience emotions more deeply than the person experiencing the event. This is incredibly energy draining for me.

[lightbulb27]

oh yes it is! It is so good you know yourself well and are aware, so that you can learn to make the most of your gifts. That to me is really a "super power", when coming from the right place, with protections for yourself... knowing your limits as some people require more than one person to deal with. f you go into such engagements with the right heart and strength, you will do much better.
If not Christian, please explore that. At minimum, explore empathic person and highly sensitive person and learn how such people can protect themselves from others. Also learn what kind of person you can attack as a mate as people whom are opposite energy can be drawn to you. One of my dreams, not reality to date, is to have a school for empathic people. They need protection as there are personalities that will intentionally prey upon and abuse.
Not to be negative but to be aware, your gifts could be in healing others, caring for others, protecting, intuition. It's a powerful gift and hope you can make the most of it.

[IslaTheWitch]

too well... the very reason I gave up practicing psychology, lol

[lightbulb27]

very good point. how to deal with pain all day and go home and enjoy family.
Somehow, therapists, ministers, priests do their job... that's special abilities or training or learnings to deal with grief while not taking it on.

[IslaTheWitch]

I have no security walls and filters... I got my diploma knowing it would live in the drawer, lol

[lightbulb27]

makes total sense, and a concern of mine for my kid that had interest in psychology. Until the heart is in right place with world view, internal strength, she'd be torn to shreds.
What I've seen is having the right heart and viewpoint, can help. We are all fragile though and have to know our limitations. Some peoples "energy" is just too much poison, and so requires a group to deal with. We are dealing with "spiritual powers".
It won't be useless if you can get to a new plateau...

[7Phoenix7]

@islathewitch I love psychology lol

[IslaTheWitch]

@7Phoenix7 me too :D but only as a science and some life hacks... digging into people's traumas is not for me...

[7Phoenix7]

@islathewitch I see, I see.

[Unit1]

Yes, easily.

I did not experience the same from the others however. Sometimes I feel nobody understands what i've been through or my life situation or why I'm doing what I'm doing.

[lightbulb27]

yes you have a big heart and sounds like others around you did not. maybe that's helpful to accept their limitations, it was for me... to realize some people simply "are not there".

[Unit1]

Hm, yes, sounds about right. It might be unthinkable for those, who have never heard or smelled these types of hardships, let alone that it is a possibility. That's what i call being born privileged and taking it for granted.

[lightbulb27]

yes, we are all unique in experience. I had supportive parents, but I also had my wounds. your parents sound not supportive. Rising above it emotionally, will give you strength because it lets go of the lies you believe and frees up your energy. This another reason I see value to Christ... emotional freedom so can love, rather than operate out of wounds. Parents are essential, but also often, flawed. Each has to discover freedom, discover forgiveness for the elders failings. Imagine what your parents and grandparents lived through... total mess.
I've seen others in scenarios like yours if not much worse. For me, it helps to have empathy for others when I see someone down in life, to respect them as human being with unique experience.

[Unit1]

Yeah. I do say its not a competition who had it worse. The least people can do is have compassion and understanding and Even that many do lack.

[DJB72]

Sometimes. Some fuckwits have shoes too badly warped to fit in...

[lightbulb27]

there's times I wonder how a person can endure what they went through, and still be standing. yes, people can be really warped by life.

[DJB72]

True. Most people ask me how I'm still standing.

[aceleon]

yes, sometimes and i absolutly hate it.

i don't wanna emphaty, emphaty is a weakness.

[lightbulb27]

ok. that's a conflict within. your "being" wants to connect/relate, but the worldly part says it's weakness to the world. the battle of spirit.

[aceleon]

we don't live inside a fairy tale, good doesn't win. look at the world around the winners are always the ones who are the most cruel and heartless and uncaring ones.

[Yannae]

I can somethings it brings me down, sometimes it fires me up with pure fascination towards that person.

[lightbulb27]

yes, I can relate to that!

[Yannae]

I have trouble with hardships being portrayed in stories or movies, if you've experienced it before. I'll experience it again.
But other things what makes the person tick, act the way he did, how he did it, seeing their thought process, it's fascinating.

[lightbulb27]

yes, I like how you think. When I read some history of what happened in China WWII, I became sad. I took on their grief.

[FreyaRed]

> be me
> put myself in shoes of imaginary north Korean girl
> I look around and see just communist misery
> it's cold, dark, everything is gray and colorless, covered with dirty snow
> look on my feet and see I have no shoes, my feet are just wrapped in plastic bags
> my conclusion, I'm not capable to put myself in someone shoes

[Kaneki05]

No not really, humans are perplexing having bad viewpoints and do things anyway for me to try make sense of it, if it don't apply to what I would think in that situation I don't really get it nor want to really.
So I am alright with not been able to.

[andreasderjuengere]

I put myself in someone else's pullover, if that counts.
But I felt no difference :)
As for comprehension about what's going on in others, I get the basic vibes. But often their lives are not my business.

[laly520]

I can but none is able to fully capture what they r feeling

[lightbulb27]

agree w that. we can empathize, but that's different than living through what they did.

[msc545]

Very easily, and in fact sometimes a little too easily. It works very well for me peofessionally.

[lightbulb27]

it's a superpower in my view, well done! Is that logically, emotionally, or both. e. g. do you feel it... compassion, or is it intellectual "I get it".

[msc545]

Both really. It is a subtle sense of increasing knowing very rapidly.

[msc545]

Sorry that wasn't much of a description, but I think that's about the best I can do this morning. This is a very difficult thing to talk about and I usually don't because if I do it usually makes people think there is something wrong with me. There isn't.

[lightbulb27]

yea didn't understand. The ability to connect with another life, possible experience their view... just from a little information... is amazing. If that is the cornerstone of "miracle healings" and such, all the moreso. I would flip what I heard... there is something wrong with everyone. I know I'm flawed. But we are emotionally damaged with logical wrappers that makes us look stable. something like that, call that 85% right.
I don't beat people up for their view of themselves (I hope not). Your therapist or trusted loved ones is the one that knows 'you'. You don't.. because it's hard to see ourselves without hard introspection. You know that... Johari Window principle.

It's just a fun question, that's all.

[msc545]

It is a good question - but describing this stuff is very difficult.

[MrOracle]

Usually I can, but I admit that occasionally I don't do it when I should. It's not that often, but I have been caught out a few times over the years.

[A_Bell]

Being 5'11", most women's have shoes that are too small and guy shoes are way too wide.

[lightbulb27]

haha... my question should be in quotes... it means putting yourself intheir position emotionally.

[A_Bell]

I know. I like to intentionally misinterpret what people say literally as a joke.

[lightbulb27]

ah, some form of deflection. I do the same at times, joke with even their serious issues. all fine.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

“I can always do this well, though not with feelings”


My man, you just admitted to having poor empathy skills

[At3mis24]

I'm autistic, so I don't.

[lightbulb27]

interesting. you put the reason on autism. is that a general attribute of autism.. cannot relate to others feelings, or project your mind to anothers situation?

[At3mis24]

Not a general attribute, in Threads I know others autistic people who are all different, who can relate, have a normal life ; they are lucky, for me it's impossible... It’s only if I can cry in front of an episode of Little House

[lightbulb27]

it's good you know yourself, where you are at right now.

[sawno]

Depends on the size, are they my size?
Jokes aside, its one of my talents yes.

[Account]

I do it automatically without effort and it shocks me many other people are unable to do so.

[SolitarySolace]

Most people yeah. But if they have, say, a panic disorder and utilize it for their own personal gain through the court system I wouldn’t be able to

[Anonymous]

I’m good at meditating. Seeing both sides, identifying the disconnections, rebuilding peaceful bonds between people 🫶

[LiamJHayden]

I try to do so, especially when people get belligerent for no reason I can easily discern.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

I sometimes can, other times nope.

[Anonymous]

I can. That doesn't mean I can get them to see things through my eyes.

[jimmy2]

Yes I can and it hell because I cannot help them nut I sure can pray for them

[NathanDavis]

if they're size 12... yes

[WhitneySnow]

Yes. I can.