To those who are or used to be shy, Has your shyness ever hurt you in life?

[Still-alive]

I used to be quite a shy person so i have enormous empathy for shy people out there, but as of a few years ago i kinda shed that shy part of me. I think being shy isn’t bad but if you’re ‘too’ shy it can prevent you from really getting the things you really want in life like a job or asking someone out you’re crushing on.

do you think your shyness has been an impediment to your growth or success in life? Or is it a non issue for you?

disclaimer: im not attacking anyone now. If you’re shy its fine. I just wonder about it is all.

Yes my shyness has hurt me or gotten in the way of getting what I want in life

No my shyness has been a non issue for me in life

It used to but not anymore

Im not or never have been shy and want to see results

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm an extreme extrovert and wasn't naturally shy when I was a boy. I was quite the opposite as a rambunctious kid that loved to socialize and hang out with friends.

Yet my parents divorced and I moved to Yokohama, then Singapore, then Hong Kong, then US for high school and uni. Also in between, I'd spend summers and Christmas sometimes with my mother in the US.

In the process of all that moving and having to learn new languages like English, Mandarin, and Cantonese, I started to become more shy and reclusive. Especially by the time I reached the US for high school, I couldn't even understand much of what the students were saying to me especially with all the slang.

[First day of high school in the US]
Student: Sup?
Me: Uhh, hi! How are you?
Student: Psshhht.
Me: [thinking to myself] Oops, I must have said the wrong thing. I need to look up what 'sup' means.

So I got really, really shy in high school. I mean so shy that I would ignore phone calls and went people rang the doorbell and I was the only one home, I'd hide and hope they don't see me since I was so afraid to talk to them in American English and not understand what they said.

That really hindered me socially. I didn't really have any real friends all throughout high school except people I hung out with at school, and no one I really hung out with after school. The idea of getting a date was hopeless.

On the positive side, I think becoming so socially reclusive helped me to focus on my studies. I was just an average student in the past before that, but being shy gave me little more to do than study and train for my sports (I was on the track team and running back on the football team). So I ended up becoming a top student with 4.0 GPA and really turned my academic performance around.

I did start to correct this gradually in uni. By university I was like this:

Student: Sup?
Me: Wassssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap! 🙌 [Budweiser commercial imitation]

And I started to actually get invited to parties and made some real friends and lost my virginity and finally got a serious girlfriend.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

[*] I mean so shy that I would ignore phone calls and [when] people rang the doorbell and I was the only one home, I'd hide [...]

So I'm not sure if that temporary shyness hurt my life. It hurt my social life for sure. But it might have helped my overall life in the end.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Especially my freshman and sophomore years were quite brutal though. I got teased a lot for my lack of understanding of American culture, fashion, and slang. I just did the Japanese way like keep my head down and bow all the time. Yet I really wanted to just hide and not have to deal with anyone. I also really liked some girls in school and one was even so flirty with me and did everything but ask me out herself on a date, but I was so shy that I just looked for excuses to leave all the time.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

One thing is that I wasn't shy of public speaking or performing in theater. I did both throughout high school and really enjoyed both. The reason those didn't make me so shy is that I could rehearse what I was going to say and I didn't have to understand slang since I'm just delivering my own speech for the public speaking or lines for the play. I could just rely on the vocabulary that I knew in those cases.

[NewgodOmega]

Its a myth that shyness hurts at all, it protects you from lot of useless drama to physical mental abuse. If you are shy stay that way it will protect you

[LaurenM1997]

No but I am shy sometimes I can get out of it easily or other times it takes time to get me out of my shell

[Apple1996]

I'm very shy and it has never caused any issues in my life

[Lara_Croft]

Used to by shy, mum told me it was pride esp when i was reluctant to share certain info with people because of this. But, now i try to speak my mind where appropriate and try to make people feel welcome

[CuriousMufuxka]

Not necessarily hurt, but kept me away from being who I actually was/am for a long time. With that said I've experienced a lot of pain since and well it's been worth putting myself out there instead of being a quiet bitch for 22 years.

[laly520]

yes

I used to be a very shy person n it made others use me, wasn't able to defend myself

[SweetDripp]

I’m sure I’ve missed opportunities due to shyness.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Yes, not being able to say no is what hurt me.

[OddBeMe]

None of us would admit we missed out on probably cool experiences by just going home.

[litty736]

Yea can't stay in a job too long and I haven't gotten into any romantic relationships

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Yes, it has hurt me

[OtterMan68]

It made me terrible at flirting