She started dating a drug addict. I cut her off shortly after. She went in and out of rehab for 2 years. When I saw her a week ago, she apologized and this time I think she meant it.
I see her trying to change and catching herself when she reverts to her old habits.
I told her 2 years ago that if there were a world where I took her back, it would be after years of separation and she'd have to work on herself to a point it would almost be hard to recognize her.
All I do is act like an ass around her. I treat her like shit and she's still trying and I'm starting to really piss myself off.
Everytime I look at her it hurts as much as it disgusts me. Especially since she's been very subtly trying to get me jealous. I came up with a bullshit reason to grab her theigh when we were in the car today and her body language was comfortable. So I know I'm not miss reading her general vibe.
She's just about as much of a narssicist as I am, she likes to get the last word, she doesn't like to be vulnerable. So I understand these actions.
I'm almost 30, I don't have much time left to waste. But this is a person who with all her flaws, I could genuinely never get tired of. And all I can think of is how I wish things were and how not at all like that they are.
Fuuuck why do i have to be such a dumbass
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Dude, I feel you. Breakups like that mess with your head in a real way.
On one hand, I get why you still care about her - history is deep. But bro, after all that drama, do you really think getting back with her is a good idea? Once that trust is broken...
Seems like she's hit rock bottom at least and really trying now. But is that enough? People can change, sure, but also easily fall back into old habits. And you gotta look out for yourself first, feel me?
I know it still hurts, but maybe some more time apart would do you both good. You're worked up now - give it mo space to breathe. See how you feel in a few months with less emotional fog.
No need to act like an ass. Just keep it polite and casual when you see her. Avoid messing with her head too. You both got shit to sort out still.
Focus on you and staying busy for now. Maybe someday down the line you'll know if she's really different or it was all just talk. But for now bro, protect your peace first. K?
If you care what she thinks you deserve her.
XD XD troll