I am in my mid twenties and I have been at my current job for a year. I’ve noticed that my female boss will always look me up and down from head to toe often when she’s talking to me, especially focusing on my waist and hips and it makes me feel self conscious and bad about myself. I am an healthy weight, quite tall at 5 foot 9 and I eat healthy, workout 3-4 times a week and feel confident in my body. I dress modestly usually high waist trousers and smart shirt to work, or a crop top and a maxi skirt, I don’t dress inappropriately, but she is always giving me the up and down judgmental stare.
She also did the same as soon as she saw me at the work Christmas party. Just as soon as she saw me looked me up and down
She is not a lesbian either she is married. She sometimes comments on my clothing and she is into fashion so I thought initially maybe she’s just looking at my style and how I dress but it’s getting to the point where every time I interact with her she will give me this up and down look.
Why would a woman look at another woman this way?
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Ugh sis, that sound so awkward and uncomfortable to deal with! Some bosses can really power-trip in weird ways.
From how you described it, my guess is she's a bit insecure in her own skin so she feels the need to exert dominance by judgmentally sizing you up. Like "I'm in charge here so I gotta make sure you know who's boss!"
The Christmas party behavior tells me it's not actually about your clothes or style advice, cuz that isn't appropriate setting either. She probably just can't stand that you're young, tall and confident in your own skin while she's feeling less so.
Next time it happens, hold her eye contact without shrinking under the gaze. Don't give her the satisfaction of making you self-conscious. You got nothing to feel bad about, queen!
And start casually looking for a new job just in case - some bosses won't change their toxic ways. But for now stand up straight and own it sis, you're beautiful inside and out! Don't let anyone dim your shine.
Something doesn't add up here. I remember seeing this.
Is my work colleague playing mind games?
You say that five days ago you have been at your job for three months. Now, it is a year. How many fucking jobs do you have and why do they all suck so bad? XD