Like my dad was such a good guy that I'm now having to spend my adult life realizing how bad men really are lol. I just thought all men were decent people đ¤Śââď¸
Your dad as supposed to be a role model for a man in your life. And you are saying he was a good role model.
So why are wasting your time with men who donât represent the positive values your dad portrayed? âDaddy issuesâ are for women who were raised with absent/abusive fathers not the other way around. Sounds to me you got so called âbad boyâ issue and thatâs more of a you problem not a daddy problem. Itâs not like you had a bad male role model in your childhood.
I am someone who has âmommyâ issues by the way. I grew up with a extremely controlling (and sometimes physical and often emotionally abusive) mother who always got her way with controlling my dad. One of the reasons she got away with it is because she is very beautiful and my dad was so smitten by her. She herself grew up an abusive household so I can be understanding of that (to a very limited extent). But she has never apologized for anything including beating me starting at 5 years old.
So I ended up wasting my time, energy, chivalry, etc on women who donât deserve it when I started dating. My role model was a bitchy woman and I thought this was just how it is. This lead to me being exploited by selfish sh*tty woman how had no real respect for me.
But at some point I had to take accountability for my own bad decisions. Sure I was blown way off course on the beginning of my journey. But I can make a decision to steer the ship in the right direction. Itâs very hard but still itâs ultimately on me.
Maybe you should do some more self reflection about the type of men you choose to associate with.
Sorry to hear about all that.
And it's not even the type I associate with. It's having to learn this from afar. Which almost makes it even worse because it's a slower process of having to learn the hard way
Well I have done a lot of self reflection in the last two years. Iâve come to the following conclusions:
1) I was given a very bad female role model growing up. This doesnât mean I was entitled to a perfect mother. But the fact my mother has never apologized to my dad or to myself for crossing the line really says a lot. The relationship they have was NOT the best example. Not at all.
BUT
2) I can acknowledge that without using it as an excuse. Truth is I am terrified of idea of being married to a woman who treats me the way I grew up watching my mom treat my dad. But I donât have to repeat that.
3) I havenât always been the âvictimâ in my interactions with women. Sometimes I was a selfish dbag. Although in aggregate I definitely took more abuse then I dished out that doesnât justify some of my bs. They were isolated incidents but I wonât self justify some of the crap I did just because I was victim in a unrelated scenario.
4) I have to forgive my mother. This is very HARD. She believes admitting fault = admitting defeat. I want to have a private conversation with her but sheâs terrified of that. Sheâs used to having my dad be her âenforcerâ. He fights all of her hard battles (despite not respecting him). But I have to still forgive her. She brought me into this world and raised me. I have to honor that. But that doesnât mean I have to cave into her psychosis.
Having a bad parent of the opposite gender is actually worse. Much worse. Reason being a guy is I naturally understand how other men think. If I am having trouble with another guy I can more effectively deal with him.
But I donât naturally understand women. My mother was supposed to be a role for that and she really screwed it up BIG TIME.
I still think (so far) that the majority of men are decent. But even i have learned through many examples nowadays that many men can be horrible people. For example i hate more men than women lol.
im lucky to have a good father, but one thing i tell myself is that if people like him exist, then there are bound to be many more good men like him🤷ââď¸
I honestly am annoyed and disturbed at the amount of misogyny still portrayed by many men even today. I've stood up against it, voiced my opinions, and been called gay by some men (mainly on here, this site is by far the most sexist app i have found🤦ââď¸)
I'm glad your not scared to stand up against it. I seen you on my comment on the dress codes question. The thought did cross my mind that you were one of the good ones
Essentially in my opinion, the problem is and has been long lasting social norms (or at least, the have been considered normal) these norms have been around forever, and maybe they worked back in hunter-gatherer times lol, but lets face it, times have changed a lot. The problem is that the social changes that have dug deep roots in our society in the past, take forever to recorrect, because its considered the norm to a lot of people. Good morals>social norms in my opinion
Another thing is men fearing change. Perhaps a change in power, and they get scared by that.
Kinda crazy we still have not gotten a female president.. although thats another topic, and i dont know much about politics lol
Thank you for your words @lil_will_12. So much wisdom in them. Are u really only 16?
It made me feel a little better you saying on here has been particularly bad for male sexism as it has coloured my views thinking so many men are horrible these days. (Makes me feel better that if it's more on here maybe it's not as bad as I feel and there's hope).
I've noticed that attitudes like yours seem to be in the under 25's. Whom I feel more comfortable with. So I think older generations (my age group) do carry a lot of that social conditioning and old fashioned views. Which makes it hard for me to find a guy I get on with.
My dad was rubbish and not around.
My ex husband was "nice" but weak and a alcoholic and then when we broke up ended up exactly to my kids as my dad was to me. Just Christmas and birthday visits. Ish. Throw a bit of money like that makes them a good father.
I actually know no other men, other than ones that were situationships.
So... I'm hopeful good men exist. I read about them and see them on TV like other mythical creatures...
Ouch well my single drunk mother not mom, and drunk bfs it wasnât pleasant
Most people in college are great
Sorry to hear that
Opinion
38Opinion
ha, "Dorthy... the curtain has been pulled back... you've left Kansas now"...
I think so.
How one spends the formative years does shape expectations of the other gender. Given the way I grew with my mother and my sister, I was terrified of women at first.
Now I see the majority of them as good people (kinda unlike my mom, and very much NOT like my sister).
Yeah I think it usually happens that way first like the kid has a bad role model parent then later they start seeing that others are good people. For me it's the opposite I turned into a adult and was like woah some men are savage đł
Of course, growing up you think that what happens in your house is the norm, whenever positive or negative. And it's always a shock to discover that different situations exist.
Having daddy issues essentially means you had a father who behaved in a negative way and shaped your view on men to be all negative. It takes finding a man that behaves respectably and treats you the way you should be treated for your worldview of men to be reshaped. Itâs hard and it takes time and the right person but itâs possible.
I have no idea but I do know is if your the older sister parents in general will dump parenting responsibilities on your shoulders. I had to raised my younger siblings.
That sucks. I was the youngest so I got lucky
Wait so your older siblings raised you?
A bit yes like my older brother was responsible for driving me to school everyday lol
Lol I bet if you decide to skip school that day your parents would be calling meeting with your brother. Lol
To be honest, there have been nights where I have cried wondering why not all males in this world are like my dad or brothers.
Same with my brothers rio
Too*
I know right! They raised up our bar so high that even things which we thought were bare minimum is something huge to some guys.
I think weâre at a point in our society that we have come to grips with the fact radical feminism devalued fatherhood to the detriment of society and particularly women. This whole business of âYou donât need a man to raise a child is bullshitâ the father is just an important as the mother only in different ways.
Fatherless boys wind up in prison
Fatherless girls wind up hanging off stripper poles.
Both genders are more likely to give or receive domestic abuse if theyâre fatherless.
There is data supporting this so spare me the hate.
I donât know if it can be reversed I would say mostly no.
Dunno. Maybe with the love of a great man?
My stepfather was a mess and a terrible father figure.
My father took no responsibility.
I'm more angry about this today, at this age, than when I was young.
But I don't take this out on men in general. And I'm not sure how, because these two figures in my life were pretty shitty.
There is no such thing as reverse. It's all classified as issues. Problems with men, usually are effected by your relationship with your father, whether good or bad. Great or none. Issues can be good or bad. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft
No, thatâs just having men be decentered from your life, as they should be lol
True
Absolutely. And you got extremely lucky, I might add. Your husband could have been a monster, and you wouldn't have seen it coming. (It happens to many women, unfortunately.)
Omg that's true. Thankfully he's good to
Many, but not a general rule. We are out here.
Most men are "decent" human beings.. Just about as decent as you are.. I remember at one point you were talking mess about your father and husband, making them seem like notsogreat guys.. It's nice to see that you changed your tune..
I ain't never talked bad about them lol
You have to me once.. Something about your husband not taking his mom to the hospital and your father not doing the same.. You used it as an example of men not caring or something along those lines.
Maybe as a example but I don't remember that lol
It was some years ago most likely when I was on my other account.. But I definitely remember that conversation and it definitely wasn't just an example, but you were talking about them specifically..
Do you have any issues with your husband or just asking
Nope he's a good one too
oh yeah, another daily dose of misandry being justified with a "girl cried wolf" or rather "girl cried misogyny" question
switch the genders around entirely and this question made by a man and the comment section would be ripping you apart already
a lot of men probably have reverse mommy issues. That might be even more common
only feminist men have this issue. poisoned by their moms to be against their dads until they realized they were lied to all this time but yeah there is a lot of feminist men out there
"By bad I'm just saying there are many men who are rude, douchebags, misogynistic, negative attitudes."
That's an opinion. Many men would say that women just think that because they are obnoxious, ignorant, unrealistic, self-centered, over dramatic hags filled with misandry.
It's not a opinion when men are acutally acting that way lol and ofc women can act a certain way to but I'm not talking about that for this question.
Of course it's an opinion. You can't prove it. That's just your view. Doesn't make it true.
There's a difference between opinions and facts, and that's not an opinion.
So your saying there are no rude men out there anywhere? Lol
No I am not saying that. But you may think someone is rude and someone else thinks they are not.
Can you give them a blood test to test for rude?
@Apple1996 didnât you get taught the difference between facts and opinions in school?
@Kingofkings1992 ofc but to say no men are ever rude would be a wild opinion
No one ever said that
I use to think that way about girlsâ as well until I been cheated on , so itâs harder for me to trust girlsâ like I use to before
At the moment there are many men who donât know how to be men. Sounds like you had a good relationship with your father so you got to see how your ideal men will be.
u Apple, I think you're okay. I've got no beef with you... but yeah, you kind of are dealing with extremes. Or at least with broad and sweeping generalizations.
Or, again, at least that's what my presumption is without examples.
Yeah I didn't want to go into deep details. This was just a general question
I understand that, but don't you think that might be part of the issue at hand here? See, I've been there before. I'm a former self-loathing doormat, "white knight", or whatever they're calling them today. I grew up in, for lack of a better term, a "girl power" family and during the era of the sitcoms where husbands and dads were only interested in beer, sex, and football. And I really came of age when this pop singer named Taylor Swift came onto the scene (maybe you've heard of her). I've been that guy who had a pessimistic view of my own sex, so I'm not completely unsympathetic to what you're saying. But at the end of the day, I don't buy it. Not anymore at least.
1) We are all like a candle, if you use it as light then it will give light, and if you heat it then it will melt.
2) And my personal fun answer is guys have balls that's why they are always nice, just like balls sensitive 😂 😆.
I have daddy issues but in a different way so I get it
The reverse of Daddy issues would be to not have them so I guess not?
There are a lot of losers out there. One of the biggest fears in my life was that my daughter will end up with one.
It is always possible, but like you accurately explained, most men are a major disappointment.
Many women are, too.
I think most people grow up with decent parents, but if it's not family then they do not care. But more directly, we all have family circumstances, haha
This is exactly why I to try so hard to be a good uncle to four nieces
Omg you are a uncle đĽ˛
Lol I'm not disappointed đ
I guess it would be possible if you pedestalized men.
Yes! Good people are rare and thatâs why theyâre so valuable
If you think men are the problem then why do you keep sucking their dicks?
Men and Women are not the problem, you have your own issues to work on
I'm not saying all men are a problem. But there's def some bad ones and growing up I didn't catch on to that
Yes I have that, lmao I thought most men were like my dad. I also have mommy issues.
I'm not sure how that would be reverse daddy issues. Regular daddy issues hardly make a girl think all guys are awesome, no? Or maybe I'm misunderstanding the use of the term daddy issues.
Regular daddy issues make women think men are terrible
The reverse would be thinking all men are good
Hmmmm. . . interesting! I guess I've been using/interpreting the term differently. I always thought that daddy issues was about a girl who had a breakdown in her relationship with her dad (usually being abandoned) and then seeks to form a bond with any guy she comes across, usually by sleeping with him immediately. Either that or she goes into some role like being a stripper to get lots of male attention that she never got from her dad. But maybe i have that wrong.
Oh okay you do make a good point but often times those women still cannot trust men even the ones they're seeking attention from
There is no such thing l think. There is good people and bad people. Men women doesn't matter who.
u "I'm now having to spend my adult life realizing how bad men really are" We are all that bad, or you are overgeneralizing?
My wife is the same way. Her dad could fix just about anything so she expects her partner to be able to as well. She's ran into problems with previous lovers over it.
They say you marry those who are like your parents.
Not all men are terrible and I speak from personal knowledge
There are LOTS of good men (my father was TOPS!!!), but the baddies get most of the pub.
Maam this world is cruel For being nice men & having soft heart 😒😒
I see great men all the time!
You are lucky then
Why am I getting the feeling your having husband problems?
Well we are all misogynistic. It is the flip side of the protect gene.
Interesting
I was acutally hearing a interesting theory earlier today suggesting the opposite like men are just fertility pets basically because they don't do much else besides work and produce sperm. Women go through menopause/live longer which means we are more valuable than just fertility because we have wisdom to be passed down to future generations
Undoubtedly men had higher attrition rates than women. I tend to refer to Australian Aborigines because until 1788 there was very little outside influence on their culture for 60,000 years. In one tribe the men all had a lot of wives. The only way that happens is if there is a high male death rate.
But it is not to say that all males died early. There were aged men as well as aged women in pristine aborigine tribes and it seems there was 'mens business' and 'womens business' i. e. there was differentiation between what men knew and what women knew.
Certainly, in at least some tribes, there were was a womens camp and elders camp and a young bucks camp which would have differentiated past down knowledge. That can be seen in circular clay pans.
Overall I think it unlikely elder women past down knowledge with respect to male roles.
It is one thing to see flint knapping and another to do it and be able to teach a newbie how to. Roles were quite gendered despite feminist claims that women ran down game with a baby on their hip.
That's definitely possible maybe that's why your good to you husband cause you know he's a good man
Do you ever look at him and say damn I really got lucky
I never met a man that was really good so I don't really know. Maybe I will when I get older.
A lot of men are good people.
Yes ofc but as a kid I literally just thought almost all men were good besides like murders and rapists lol
We tend to think most people are like our families when we are young, I believe.
It's always "men are trash, but not my father, brother, or my boyfriend" lmao
How can all of the men in countless women's lives be the exectipion, but most men are also trash? Illogical.
Oh my dad was definitely trash to women just not to me lol. He was a player back in his day đ
Yeup! Men are proudly arrogant and then turn around call us pretty and call us in greatful.
As you move on in your life your perspective will change.
If you meet with a good men then your perspective might change
What's more important is to understand is what are the reasons which make them think like them
That's probably because you've been a spoiled brat all along and you may be the problem
Spoiled because my dad is kind? Lol I don't think so
Girls who aren't spoiled dont really make hasty generalization. There are girls who have daddy buy her everything that guys who dont do thesame are just bad guys.
Reverse daddy issues are just indeed spoil girls
I grew up extremely poor lol so it's not that
Then you're just spoiled despite that. Who said they have to be rich tho?
Still kindness doesn't make someone spoiled
Sure it doesn't. But it still can and there's a difference. Or maybe you just are despite the kindness your dad. So it's a factor that you were treated like a princess that any other guys should do it too because if they aren't they're just bad guys. The way you keep generalizing just says a lot though.
you mean like mommy issues? lol
Nahh
I sort of figured it out lol
The comedy here is that you are the female version of the "many men" you describe.
Yeah I'm a douchebag and misogynistic đ
You're a misandrist, not a misogynist.
Sure dude lol if your catching that from me it's because I'm matching men's energies because I refuse to let them get away with being shitheads without some karma coming back at them
You would be embarrassed if you could see yourself through the eyes of other GAG users. The only ones who don't see you as a femcel are other femcels like you.
I don't need to care what other users here think. Acting like a pick me doesn't get a girl no where so I'll continue to act like myself instead
You don't need to act like a pick me, just don't act like a cunt.
Men love bitches so I'll keep acting like one
Yeah, no.
It's litterally been proven. Men are attracted to bitchy women
Link?
There's a whole ass book about it
Like I said, please provide a link.
Apparently so if you're having the issue
Daddy issues can be solved through psychotherapy!
Interesting
Sure I guess
My dad is an arse so I'm setting out to do everything he doesn't
Most men are decent but some are really bad
You attract what you are.
I'm not sure I attract bad ones. My husband is good to. More what i see from other men in general
Define this please
You can also add your opinion below!
Holidays 
Girl's Behavior 
Guy's Behavior 
Flirting 
Dating 
Relationships 
Fashion & Beauty 
Health & Fitness 
Marriage & Weddings 
Shopping & Gifts 
Technology & Internet 
Break Up & Divorce 
Education & Career 
Entertainment & Arts 
Family & Friends 
Food & Beverage 
Hobbies & Leisure 
Other 
Religion & Spirituality 
Society & Politics 
Sports 
Travel 
Trending & News 
