How can I support my traumatised friend without burning myself out?

[MissSunshine2]

She was being moody towards me a few weeks ago and I noticed a change but thought I was just annoying her with my neuroticism, which is the one thing about me that drives everyone nuts. But it turns out that she was feeling traumatised by her past and trauma therapy went badly and ended up with her cutting open her wrist with a box cutter. I have not dealt with people with a severe personality disorder before. Those who I've dealt with and myself included were mild, so our issues just make us slightly different than we would have been otherwise. I've decided to stick around long-term when she asked me not to leave her as a friend, because when she's well, she's a very good friend. I understand that she'll never be completely free of her demons.

Apparently, she's so sick that she can't be left alone in the house, ever again. I'm the only one of our friends who she's told, so the responsibility rests on me to support her; but I don't know how. I can't tell our friends how unstable she is, as they don't understand severe mental illness like I do, as I have mild schizophrenia and I've been a disability and mental health support worker, I'm somewhat immune to fear. My level of mental illness, where you still look, act and feel mostly okay and you can work and marry, etc if you want to is about all they can cope with. I feel somewhat under pressure and that and my TAFE work and my argument with my other friend have triggered my own dependant personality disorder's neediness. I feel like I need to be hosed down. I don't mean with horniness, just out of sheer nerves.

[sage2021]

Hi 👋🏼 Miss Sunshine,

First I would like for you to know that I am not a professional mental health care professional. I am just a regular person.

I do not have any mental health issues, however, I am familiar with people who do, but not to the degree such as your friend who you are concerned about.

I know that I am a very good friend to the friends that have been in my life. I do know how to be a friend, but that doesn't mean that I have to be a trained professional and help someone else who does need immediate support and assistance with the severe issues that your friend is experiencing.

Friend and trained mental health professional are completely two different things.

I'm hoping that someone contacted paramedics and took her to the hospital for cutting herself. Because she needs to be watched in a mental health care facility by professional mental health experts for cutting herself.

In which case, you cannot keep this a secret. And you, yourself cannot help her other than being a friend to her.

Remember, friend is different from trying to take on too much from a hurting person who you can care about to a point, and then she needs professional mental health support.

You have your own mental health issues, and this situation is overwhelming for a person such as yourself.

I don't know if your friend has family who oversees her and will step in to help her?

As a friend, you can get her immediate emergency care that can take her to the hospital for cutting herself, or contact her family and inform them about what is going on with her after she gets immediate emergency medical support at a hospital.

Please don't overdo it because you will only be making yourself worse.

So, yes, be her friend, but you cannot be more than that for her.

Please get her some professional help by telling someone who you can trust, not just a friend, but a professional about what she's doing to herself.

She needs to be cared for in a hospital and let the hospital professionals who are trained to help people such as your friend.

I hope and pray 🙏🏼 that you understand what I am saying here.

[MissSunshine2]

You're right. I've been carrying this around inside myself for several days. I do need to detach a bit and yes she does have family and they all know about this.

[sage2021]

Let her know that you are still her friend so she won't feel abandoned.
You're good at cheering people up with an inexpensive little gift 🎁 and a little greeting card and your presence, just visit her once in a while and contact her by the usual way you communicate with her.

[sage2021]

Thank you for the MHO 🙂🧡

[FreyaRed]

Let her win the mental illness Olympia

[NathanDavis]

being this a more extreme of a case... you really should not make yourself responsible for her well being, supporting a friend is one thing... but to take it upon you as a responsibility would be actually, irresponsible... be careful with that

[Alex-Snow]

It is wonderful that you are lending a helping hand. But remember to take care of yourself first, that way you can help your friend.

[lightbulb27]

Direct her to christ whom is only one that can heal the deep wounds and make whole. That combined with her understanding herself and letting god heal her trauma. You can be but a flower girl.

she will try to dump on you or anyone her misery which you cannot shoulder.

[ohsheeT]

You can by understanding what is really going on there are things in this world that we have been lied to about many many things who we are is one of them what we are capable of is another one but I would say you have to understand the first before you can project it to her

When you get yourself all riled up with nerves How do you deal with it Do you understand what is happening

And just because we look at each other in a mirror or we see a solid body that doesn't mean that's who we are we are the person on the inside and the only person that can make you happy or sad is the person on the inside that person on the inside is energy is vibration and that's what causes people to get anxiety

In the airwaves there is all kinds of things that's going on because everything in this world is frequency and it floats through the Airways some of us are sensitive to those frequencies because of the things that we might hear is how in tune you are

I don't look at her as being sick I mean as far as cutting herself yes maybe but the things that she's going through I think she can hear see feel things deeper the most people and there's reasons for that and it's Unique and it's kind of a beautiful thing if you can understand it same with you

I don't even know you but on the very last of your question just how you answered it I know that you feel and see things deeper than most people and I believe that is a very beautiful thing because it gives you Insight it gives you wisdom and you should know how to read people by now

But it's a very last of your question you said quite a bit there to tell me I mean you are a sensual well I'm not going to get into it on here with this question but I would say that you feel things way deeper the most people and if you understand the reason why you do and I think you'd be a great help to her but there are things that you should know are do research on and that is feeling energy and emotions and why we feel what we feel at any given moment is quite a beautiful thing really

[RavVid]

People do burn themselves out in these circumstances and others (like looking after aged parents etc).

The #1 thing is you need to take care of yourself to help someone else. If you push yourself too hard you will cease to be of benefit for her. You need to set boundaries. If you go to see her for an hour, stick to that.

If you are going to do this you have to be good with boundaries to prevent burn out. You will need days off and you should take them. Once you feel resentment listen to it and take a break for space. You are not being selfish to do so.

Does she have any NDIS support?

[DishLady]

It's very difficult to do and sometimes you DO have to step away to tend to yourself.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Sometimes being supportive is giving them a little space

[RareBreedOfMan]

You're carrying a heavy load now it's time to pray for her and hope for the best.

[whocares1972]

She will cut you one day. Just remember that. ✌️

[Paige2006]

Just by listening to her

[ThisSiteSux]

You can't. That's not how it works

[Stormzy001]

syndicate and synthetic at the same time