Girl said I'm the sweetest guy she knows..... Ugh, should I try not to be as sweet?

[Anonymous]

I mean I don't go out my way to wait on her hand and foot, but I do nice things for her always. I like to give her the best since she hasn't done me wrong personally. I just am a good very laid back person. I don't like being called the sweetest guy she knows though because I don't want her to take advantage of me. I don't want to get walked all over in other words. Should I maybe try to be less nice of a person, or should I just keep being myself?

[karamel_sutra]

I've heard guys like you complain about this before. Do you know how hard it is to even find sweet guys? It's a real compliment and if she had intentions of taking advantage of you, she probably wouldn't have let you know how 'sweet' you are. You're a man, true enough, but would you rather have her actually LIKE you and think you're sweet, or have her change her opinion if you change your actions and think you're a jerk, like most other guys? If you're being nice to her with any thought of returns in your mind, do her a favor and just give her the 'jerk' side, drive her away from you, because you're going to do nothing but that later. If you're truly a nice guy and didn't mind doing nice things for her until she gave you a compliment for it, then by all means, keep being nice, but do be cautious that she's not a user (like if she starts asking for more than usual on a regular basis).

THIS is the mindset that kills off chivalry, the door holders, the gift givers, the poem writers...

[Eiffelgirl21]

You are so right. It is SOOOOO annoying. Gosh. Sweet guys are one in a million. And, sweet, attractive guys...are like no where to be found.

[Asker]

Your right. I wasn't going to stop being nice anyway. I just wanted to hear if a guy will get taken advantage of for being the "sweet guy". I wasn't sure because I have heard before that you can be to nice, and I was thinking maybe there is a fine line I should look out for before I get taken advantage of.

I never expected anything in return because in my mind she deserves it.

[karamel_sutra]

I'm glad to hear that. If she deserves it to you, then she deserves it. I really hope you and all the other nice guys out there always find the women who do deserve it so you don't feel the need to ever be a jerk. :)

[Anonymous]

Stop doing anything that you expect a reward for.

People only feel taken advantage of when there is an unspoken feeling that they deserve compensation for the nice things that they do. This is where a lot of "nice guys" go wrong -- they try to win over the girl they like by doing favors, feeling secretly that if they do these things, she will feel that she is obligated to return his favors. But relationships don't start that way -- any more than they do because a girl has sex with a guy she likes anytime he wants with the unspoken feeling that he will grow to care for her if she does that.

It's OK to be a nice guy -- but don't expect "nice" to translate into romantic feelings by itself. It's a great quality, but it's not a bargaining tool.

[Darkfairie17]

You should be yourself. Being nice and getting taken advantage of are not two mutually exclusive things. You can be assertive if she tries to take advantage of you and say no.

Don't do things you don't feel like doing and don't let her use you for money or anything. That is the major issue with some guys thinking that nice guys get taken advantage of. The key is to be assertive and know when to say no to something.

Plus you don't know if she is even going to take advantage of you. Get to know her, know what she likes, know who she is, and just be yourself. If she starts to do things that you don't like, say something. Don't be shy and let her get away with things. No person is worth sacrificing your own happiness for.

[Eiffelgirl21]

great advice :)

[michaelgeo14]

Coming from one of the biggest softies around, there is nothing wrong with being sweet!! Girls will have so much respect for you and when you meet a girl that you're interested in, the sweetness will pay off! Stay true to yourself man! And if you feel like a girl is walking all over you, just tell her that you feel that way and if she is she will back off, if not she won't think to much of it. (I think lol) I'm no genius but I know that being sweet is a DEFINITE plus dude!

[raptor]

Being called the sweetest guy she knows is a compliment. There is no need to dissect it.

[Skittles_lover]

No don't change. I always call my boyfriend sweet and its a compliment. It doesn't mean you're soft it just means you're kind. Would you rather hear "you're the sweetest guy I know or the biggest as$hole I know?" And I don't think being sweet will lead you to being walked all over.

[Eiffelgirl21]

Please- Just be yourself.

Don't change for anyone.

And, realize you are a good catch.

[Ilovepixie]

I recently told a guy that he was the sweetest or something he did was the sweetest. And I meant it because he is so sweet and I like him. I’m unsure about sweetest guy she knows. Are you dating her or just friends. Like do you kiss or anything? If you kiss and do other stuff it’s a good thing. If your just friends that means your just friends. Sometimes if you have to ask you already know the answer.