It’s myTake so get over it!

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Hello my fellow GAGers. In the short time I’ve been a member I have encountered a lot of people and a lot of views. Some nice, some mean, and others that are absolute scum. Recently I disawoved a myTake I had written titled “Newsflash: Women are bigots, hypocrites, and sexist as well!” I received both a lot of praise and a lot of backlash due to the opinions I’ve shared.

Most of the backlash came from women who clearly viewed me as a disgrace to the female gender and a lot of them were pissed over my views on the word “slut.” These are clearly women who think “slut shaming” is something bad, (as if a slut is something praiseworthy?) Keep in mind that was merely one small insignificant paragraph that was simply an accessory statement to the overall point.

Thinking adults would have already developed sufficient comprehension skills is clearly giving too much credit to the people (in my experience, the women) of GAG. Every woman who had something negative to say missed the point in all its entirety. Their focus was on that one small word that obviously hits home for most of these “ladies.” I found myself disingenuously apologizing to these crazies and admitting being at fault, when there was no fault present.

I was so tired of having to repeatedly explain a simple concept to such simple people that I started telling them I’d be more conscientious of my own biases, and would keep personal opinions to myself.

I’m here to tell you today, that’s not going to happen, it hasn’t yet and it probably never will. The whole purpose of myTake is to share MY opinion, My views, and yes MY bias on a subject. If you don’t like it, write something of your own. I’m not going to apologize for using a take to it’s fullest potential. If you hate me for it, so be it. If you want to write something nasty, by all means! I don’t need to acknowledge your presence and give you the validation you so desperately crave. So here’s a big F***K you to all that have a problem with me. And on that note, have a wonderful day. :)

[pnl86]

shirleymaya.com/.../...-it-defines-who-you-are.jpg

See also, www.goodreads.com/.../803936-when-you-judge-others-you-do-not-define-them-you

See also, www.psychologytoday.com/.../the-essential-guide-defense-mechanisms

Reaction formation: feelings of shame and embarrassment of one's own sexual desires and how those desires affect her own sense of personal identity as a female cause her to adopt a strong belief "against" such behavior, condemning it as "negative," and going further to praise the "opposite" kind of behavior.

Displacement: feelings of shame and embarrassment of one's own sexual desires and how those desires affect her own sense of personal identity as a female, combined with the belief that men "value" a woman's "virtue" and dislike a woman's "promiscuity" create an internal "conflict" within herself (i. e., the two competing needs of "I want sex with a man" and "I want a relationship with a man" are seemingly at odds with each other). This causes her to feel "angry" at men, for denying her one of both of the things that she wants. But, she understands that if she is angry at men, she will not get any of the things she wants from men. So, instead, she "displaces" her anger towards men towards "other women." Specifically, aspects of other women's "sexuality" that she believes will paint other women in a negative light, paint herself in a more positive light, and cause the men she wants to prefer her over other women.

I'm not going to even get into "projection."

When I do want to share is a moment with a patient in a psychiatric ward who was absolutely terrified when he believed they were putting him "out there" (i. e., outside of the psychiatric ward). According to the treating psychiatrist, the patient believed that the rest of the world (outside) was overrun by some epidemic of psychologically disturbed people, and the only "safe" place was inside his room. He viewed the psych ward as a safe haven - a sanctuary - that "protected HIM" (an obviously sane person, in his opinion) from all of the crazies on the outside.

Why does that sound so familiar?

"I found myself disingenuously apologizing to these crazies"

www.thelifecoach.co.nz/.../head-in-the-sand.gif

"Two people having sex" is a "fact"

"Murder" is a "fact"

"Slutty" is an "opinion"

So, the real question is, what incentive or motive does one have to try to "shame" others with their "opinions"?

Everyone can express themselves and their opinions... EVERYONE... meaning not just you, but also those people who respond to what you have to say. So, "If you hate [them] for it, so be it. If you want to write something nasty, by all means!" But that says more about you than it does about the people you're "judging."

[Cookies_AndMilk]

This take is simply to explain to others that I've rightfully expressed my opinion the same as they do theirs. I'm writing this take as a message to others that I shouldn't have to apologize for actually sharing an opinion on something that is meant for my opinion. Whether or not you agree with the term slut is irrelevant to both this take and the previous one because that is what neither is about. If people were actually talking about the message conveyed it would be different, but they were discussing something I spent 2 seconds to say verses what I was actually saying. Sluts had nothing to do with my takes and the fact you took to write this shows you're missing the point the same as everyone else because you're looking for one negative to bring me down. My views on sex aren't a result of my own frustrations so thanks for trying to analyze me. I'm happy with my sexuality and the value I place on sex. It's a beautiful thing to me, not some pound fest.

[pnl86]

"To bring me down"

Is that how you feel?

If that why you think people expressed their views and responded to your "slut" comments?

Do you think there was some vendetta against you or conspiracy to "bring you down?"

I've followed your comments on a fees questions. I think you're very smart, and more importantly, I think you have a good heart. So, I think wherever those feelings and thoughts are coming from... that negative association or classification of certain sexual behavior... I'm sure it's not coming from a malicious place.

If people thought you were a bad person, I don't think they'd waste their time and effort trying to communicate with you.

It's not about your views/opinions versus other people's views/opinions. It's about at least understanding where your beliefs come from, and if they're not malicious, "why" you feel and think the way you do.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Alright, that's a fair enough point. But I do have an understanding as to why I feel the way I do on things. I don't just form opinions without reason, I look at things, analyze, and then decide where I stand on a subject. Everything I feel and think are parts that make up me. My belief system is closely linked to who I am as an individual. If I didn't have an understanding of my own thoughts, I wouldn't be a genuine person.

[CHARismatic110]

I love this. Writing controversial myTakes will always bring out the crazies here. Hell, writing anything here that the majority doesn't agree with will bring them out. Good for you for not letting them quiet your voice!!

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thank you so much! I'm glad I have your support. :)

[CHARismatic110]

No problem. I wish people knew how to disagree without attacking, but that's wishful thinking.

[oracle12c]

Actually it doesn't matter what you write, as long as it's a controversial subject, somebody is bound to hate you for it.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

@oracle12c That is true. More of a reason to keep standing for what you believe. Really great point. :D

[CHARismatic110]

@oracle12c I agree.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Well, good for you for defending your viewpoints. I wish I had as much of a will to do that as you. I thought your take was a good conversation starter.

I wrote a take titled "Body Shaming Doesn't Work", and it has also received a lot of positive, but a lot of negative feedback too, which most of the negative feedback being from men who missed the point of my take entirely, calling me a "fat enabler", or they were mad because I didn't talk about the body shaming of men as well. It was just a personal experience I wanted to share, and it's sad that people couldn't read into it more. I wasn't promoting obesity, and I couldn't speak for men because I am not a man. I don't get people sometimes.

Just be prepared though, when you share an unpopular opinion, prepare yourself for the rebuttals and backlash. Good luck to you.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thank you so much, I appreciate hearing from you and that you've read my other Take. I did a lot of thinking when I removed myself from the Take I had written and I realized I shouldn't have to apologize for having my own voice. If someone doesn't like it they certainly don't need to listen. If they have something nasty to say, they're more than welcome to share their thoughts! I just won't be entertaining them lol. Your support means a lot to me, and I wish you the best as well for future Takes you write. Good luck with your ideas, and I hope you stand strong in your beliefs. :) <3

[RainbowFanGirl]

Thank you.❤️ I got a lot of downvoting for leaving a fairly positive comment on there. :/ I couldn't understand why. I just removed myself from there as well. I don't react well to negativity.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Whenever someone turns to personal attacks it's because they know they're wrong. You've proven your point but they can't prove theirs. It's a little self fulfilling to know you've got your head steady and they're desperate enough to turn to anything. Do what's best for you, taking care of yourself is what matters. These people can get quite nasty.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Ad hominem isn't a good way to state your argument. :/ It's just immature. You should always use facts and other things to carry along your argument. :)

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Sure, I agree if it's an unbiased statement. Like talking about something pertaining to statistical data, or studies. Not necessarily if it's an opinion. Opinions don't need facts because well they're opinions lol. However, there's never an excuse to attack someone's character. If they don't like what is written they can discuss that, but not start name calling and being just plain nasty. It's so childish of people who are supposed to be grown adults. I'm glad you're nothing like that, you've got good character.

[RainbowFanGirl]

Aww, thank you so much. ❤️ Good luck to you.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

And the same to you! :)

[Applefan1]

Good on you @Cokkies_ANDMilk I am in support of you. Your take was a great one. Those people being mean to you are just big cry babies. Boo Hoo get over it! is what they need to do. You spoke and what you said in your take is the truth.

[Cookies_AndMilk]

Thanks man. :)

[Applefan1]

You are welcome you deserve the support. Those women that commented on your other take are crazy. They take any tiny bit of information and put a whole new meaning behind it, something you have never said. I have no time or patience for women that do this.