Holiday Contest! Caption this Picture with your Funniest Line! (Page 2)

[AnOrdinaryGirl45]

"Oh God, what is she feeding me again?*
*stomach grumbles*

[apple24]

AW... haha! Upvote!

[AnOrdinaryGirl45]

@apple24 lmao! XD

[BelleGirl21]

Time for the annual sex in slippers and tinsel tradition... now how to get rid of this cat...

[broadsword]

I know I asked for a little pussy for Christmas but this is ridiculous.

[ElissaDido]

" I wonder if she'll get offended once she finds out I got her a free makeover gift-card".

[vekin]

Like this one

[ElissaDido]

@vekin Thanks :) !!!

[MissNowhere]

"I have something even juicier in store for you after you're done with that orange... 😏"

[TheBraveLion]

Those dislikes xDDDDDDDDDDDDD

[MissNowhere]

@TheBraveLion LOLLLLL

[vekin]

I have more downvotes

[DanteSparda]

Grandpa : "Damn!!! My Netflix is taking forever to load, what do you want to do in the meantime? 😉"

*granny starts eating orange"

Grandpa : *forever alone 😭*

[c0stell0]

remember when getting some pussy between us meant something else?

[Izzbang]

I'm just a lonely zombie... I'm just a lonely zombie on this couch and you... You look like a zombie too

Will you be my lovely zombie... Will be my lovely zombie and we'll eat this cat... I bet it has a tasty brain... brains

I really want to eat it's brainz

[simplyadorable]

nice poem you got there :)

[LittleSally]

"When I stopped needing the razors she started to... Ad least there'll be some crumbs left in her beard."

[Octavius]

"What are the odds both of us will still be around for this next year..."

[apple24]

Smart I like it! up vote!

[mr90skid]

"Damn Alzheimers!! Maybe if I blow hard enough she'll remember how to..."

[martyfellow]

It‘'s Christmas1974.。。remember？ it's Christmas 1977.. remember? iOh, sorry, that was Jane..~~~better not think about Jane, Christmas 1972.。

[llorando]

I hope she doesn't find out I'm wearing her socks, the last thing I need is for her to rub it in my face that I'm in capable of doing laundry.

[Anonymous]

"I wish she'd hurry up and finish those biscuits, so the sleeping pills I put in them will soon take effect, I promised the guys I'd be at the pub by 10, there's still life in this old dog, I'm ready to party all night"

[SilenRose]

It's times like this I realize how lucky I am to be married to this beautiful wom-... Wait a minute. This isn't my wife! Okay calm down. Just stay calm and move slowly to the door... Crap! I can't move! She must have drugged the tea! No wonder why she's eating a tangerine even though she made popcorn, cake, and tea. Why is this happening to me?

[Mustachekitteh]

*In a really old persons voice* "What day was it again? I think it had something to do with that hat."

[EmiliaRose2355]

She keeps asking me what I want for Christmas every year.

So, here's me sucking this candy cane, SUBTLY hinting at what I'd REALLY like this Christmas. As I do every year...

But she's far too occupied sucking on orange segments, as usual. The sour old prune.

[Anonymous]

''It's only a minute away from our 60th Christmas and you're still here by me to celebrate it. Our children may not be here with us but you take away that pain to see you everyday. Oh darling we've grown so old together but you're still more beautiful than a white Christmas.''

[ImagineRelease]

Hold on, there, Gladys, I know you want what's in these pants, but like everything else in the "Information age" it's buffering.

[Paris13]

Wife" "You're an old fool this year, dear, and an even Older bigger fool Next year... If you don't blow yourself to death before midnight."