Be An Encouraging Force In the GaG Community

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of people going through some really tough life situations who feel like no one ever understands them or what they are going through. They're breaking inside, and desperate for some hope or light to come into their lives. Many are reaching out on GaG because they don't have anyone in their own lives to reach to.

I wish growing up that I had had an outlet like this. One where I could be anonymous and not feel the overwhelming judgment of the world sometimes. It's exhausting when you carry that around in your head all the time and have no release. When you're in a situation and you deal with it every single day, you want to just talk to people who perhaps won't make assumptions about you or who will give you some advice you desperately need, or more importantly, give you hope that you can make it through one more day, and one more day after that, and after that.

I think people give social media such a bad rap sometimes, like no good can ever come out of it. No one is of course denying the bad that exists here and elsewhere on social media, but there is also the good. The really good. I've seen exchanges where I could almost swear I could feel the release of anxiety, or anger, or pressure on the asker or poster. Many people posting are people who have been through hell themselves and coming out on the other side, all they want to do is pay it forward to someone else or reassure someone that they aren't the only ones, there is something more, and that it can get better.

Although these are words on a screen written by strangers, I never want to just see it as just that. Those words were typed with the fingertips of another human being attached to them on the other side who wants to be heard, who wants help figuring it out, and who wants to know that something in this life is worth it for them.

Yes, there is also a lot of silliness and fun and not everyone is going through something or struggling, but for the ones for which this is clear, be an encouraging force in that persons life. We all need that from someone. We want to know someone gives a damn, even if that's just a stranger. The people who have touched or affected my life, have not all been known to me by name or relation. I've received help and care from people who didn't even know me. We all have it in our power to be that for someone else and to really make this a community. Don't just fall into, well no one here is real, or cares, or people just troll, because that is certainly not true for everyone, because if you're on GaG and you don't do that, and you become an encouraging force, it helps pave that way for others to do the same.

As you go along and you see these questions, and posts on GaG where someone needs help, be kind, be encouraging, be as helpful as you can be. You may be making a world of difference in someone's life.

[martyfellow]

Thanks for reminding us that silly as Gag can be, it's also a unique outlet for people who might or have friends in the real world' they can turn to.
I've been in situations where friends wouldn't help but Gag people would.

[abundantlyrich]

I rarely give sympathy. There are depressed people who have truly willed their sword to being a top notch devoted downer but have reached a certain point of no return that they could never forever undo and relearn. I'm not talking about the teens. Teenagers still have a choice to change their life around.

It's their inability to see how their own weaknesses as for truth to what landed them in this undesirable situation in the first place and blame everyone for their cause of depression or their 'limits'.

Ultimately everyone has the potential to become something better but some of them are stuck here in this earth plane for being an emotional cripple, maybe because of their karmic lifetimes, drug abuse and a brainwashed religious upbringing.

Im not going to tiptoe around someone who is a loose cannonball and an emotional timebomb here just because she or he was suffering from depression or manic depressive. There's no way of knowing who was mentally ill here for real unless they have really made themselves publicly known. I can see they are here a lot because they don't do anything productive to help themselves or have locked themselves here as a bird stuck in a cage.

As i get to read more of the answers, I've gotten to know who some of these people were, that are genuinely chemically imbalanced and some of them who just here to be an explosive psychopaths. I'd blocked some of them immediately without ever directly communicating to them before.

[abundantlyrich]

I've now accumulated a blocklist of over 400 drama queens🤤. So sue me.

[BertMacklinFBI]

400 damn

[BertMacklinFBI]

hey I'm not one of them :D

[Barrabus_the_Free]

Wow. Hardcore. I like it.

[Listening5]

you're right, I haven't been here long but I have noticed some odd people. But are there even that many people on here, I didn't even know this site existed until I found it by accident.

[TheUsername27]

400? I think you may be the chemically imbalanced one lol. Why are all these people saying I'm wrong? They must be mentally ill. <-- your logic.

[abundantlyrich]

@TheUsername27 why don't you get a life yourself and troll somewhere else like in Stormfront forum?

[abundantlyrich]

@Barrabus_the_Free Stop annoying me.

[abundantlyrich]

@BertMacklinFBI 415 to be exact. I just checked the list again.

[kambo_trick3y]

I'm well past the age of sugar coating things. There's way too much stupidity and lack of common sense in the world for me to present my advice in neat little packages wrapped up with a pink little bow on top.

I give advice to people hard and real, and if they have the nerve to handle it and take the time to absorb it, then they can make real, very genuine progress in their life. Most people just shut it out and keep doing their stupid fucking mistakes though 90 percent of the time. So I've learned to just mind my own business for the most part.

[RJGraveyTrain]

I agree with a deal of what you're saying, but as many of my fellow users have stated, I also agree that there need to be less of a filter on one's advice - obviously WITHOUT vicious intent.

I can say that some of the best advice I've gotten has been the harshest, though this wasn't always the case. A keen balance between knowing when to be tender in moments where harshness won't work, and then knowing when to cut the shit and tell someone to stand the fuck up. It isn't ever intended to be cruel, but sometimes people come here more for coddling than advice.

Of course, it's a balance. I'm happy to encourage and help people but sometimes I say what I feel NEEDS to be said, on such question as:

"I'm not over my girlfriend, should I drive past her house?"

Me: No dude that's fucking weird, that's stalker territory what are you thinking?

I'm sure you get my point. But it is a balance.

[myTake Owner]

Funny, I also replied to that same question earlier with the following: "Driving past her house won't do much to help you heal those open wounds. You just really need to give yourself permission to grieve the loss of what you thought was a good relationship, and that takes time. You can't rush it, you can't force it. In the meantime, instead of constantly focus on her, surround yourself with your friends and family who do support, love, and give you that care that you did not end up receiving from her and make new happy memories to help ease you out of the bad." That's what I mean about encouraging. Not everything has to be so negative or blunt, it can just be something that may help them in some way if possible. Give them some constructive feedback.

[RJGraveyTrain]

Well this is the problem, in my opinion: sometimes you don't need everything to be so soft. Sometimes when people are in a state where they're so lost in their own personal bs they need to be slapped out of it. I get what you're saying, but I can say even coming from myself that you can lose yourself in your issues and no amount of "healing your wounds" or spending time with family is going to necessarily make you realize the harsh reality of things.

Plain and simple, driving past someone's house is creepy and borderline stalker behaviour. That's how I address it. Coddling somebody like that allows them to take on a victim role and they will FEEL like a victim, thus thinking that their acting out is justified.

Don't get me wrong I agree that more often than not being encouraging or being soft can be necessary but there isn't only one kind of "constructive feedback."

[myTake Owner]

I agree with you that there are times in life where people most certainly need to be shaken up a bit to get out of their heads, but with a stranger, which is what GaG is full of, you don't know if that is what they need or something else. Having said that, because of that very reason, both encouragement and a tougher hand can work depending on the person... or not, we'll never know unless someone comes back in and says, that really helped me. In either situation, you can still be encouraging or use constructive criticism, as opposed to what I'm talking about which are the people that read those "cries for help questions," and just attack the person, or bully them, or tear them down...

[RJGraveyTrain]

Well I don't tend to bully anybody or attack anybody in such a manner.

[myTake Owner]

That doesn't help, and I think we've both agreed to as much as well. I believe in every word I wrote to the Anon person, because it's something similar I said to my own best friend when she was dealing with divorce and struggling to pull herself out of head and move on, and it worked. Coming in and yelling at her when she was at an all time low would not have worked at all. Everything here, or IRL, is situational, I just think one ought to start with honey in particular with a perfect stranger and then work your way on up to using vinegar, if you know the saying, rather then bully tactics, or being mean just to be mean which is what there tends to be a lot of on GaG as well.

[menina]

Well, of course there's people here who have issues and they're just looking for someone to talk to them. Someone who won't judge them.
It's easy to talk about your problems when you know you won't meet the person you're talking to on the street.
Some users will try to help you, give you some advice, listen to you and encourage you. But, on the other hand, you will also find the ones who don't care. The ones who will even make fun of you, call you names, make fun of your situation, accusing you of something etc...
All I know is that you must be careful about what you say here and with who you talk with.

[Chico_brah]

There are a bunch of weak pussies on here who are in their position in life because they continue to act like weak pussies. Why are we going to enable that kind of behavior by sugar coating everything? The world of fucking brutal and mean. If you can't take hate on the internet, then develop thicker skin.

[myTake Owner]

The question is: why would you feel the need to encourage hate? Why would anyone need to be negative towards a stranger that has done nothing to you but ask a question or talk about their issue and ask for help? Is it a sign of weakness if someone is struggling in life, to ask for help? We teach people to ask for help when they can't do something alone by themselves, and this is what this is about. Just because others are hateful or negative does not mean you have to be just because...

[Chico_brah]

No it's not. Not having a filter when it comes to these topics doesn't mean you're mentally weak. Sometimes a little harsh nudge is what they need in regards to motivation. Or maybe they just need to realize they are fucking up so that they feel more of an effort to change.

[Listening5]

I gotta admit that Im going through a rough time.
And I like to come on here and give people advice, but its hard to find those questions where people need that advice... Most questions are stupid and about nonsense, very hard to find real people that need advice on here.

[lacorine197]

So fucking true holy shit

[myTake Owner]

I'm sorry to hear that, and I hope you find something, if you're looking, that helps you get through what you're going through. I think for me, when going through the questions list, it's the wording I pick up on, and how others are responding including the poster that give way to whether it's a serious question or just trolling or other silliness. Someone who is real, is not going to antagonize people in the comments, or is going to simply say a thank-you to those who answer with their help, even if you're the first to respond. You may also befriend those people you think are genuine people and/or look at what they're posting in general to get a clue if you want to take it a step further. This is a social media site, and it's not meant specifically to be for those that are seeking help in a deeper way, but I do believe both can co-exist and you get from this site, what you want from it if you look hard enough.

[fueledbythc]

I give my opinion and i am brutally honest with it. People may not agree with the word choice i use but im not trying to be mean or anything. Its nicer to show them the truth over masking a problem because you know they will feel some pain and suffering.

[Wwwyzzerdd]

Too much stupidity on here. For a community that prides itself on tolerance I have constant female dissonance and even petty insults simply for having having a male perspective. Doesn't make me really want to be nice to others when you constantly get shit on for being logical or having a realistic approach. Fuck your feelings.

[cth96190]

I do my best to be supportive and helpful to people who have an obvious problem, but when dealing with those on the left this is my usual reaction:

[upskirtfetish]

i dont mind being encouraging to someone who's genuine and has a REAL problem but, if someone's asking "what time is it over there" and that's all they're wanting to know.. how am i supposed to encourage them?

[myTake Owner]

Come, come now, as I'm sure you read (this entire post) where I mentioned plenty of people are here for silliness and not struggling, and that's fine---wonderful even, but I am only referring here to those in this instance where you feel they are reaching out and want genuine help.

[upskirtfetish]

i think you're missing my point here though...

[myTake Owner]

How, pray tell, have I missed your point? I'm not asking you to encourage "what time is it" questions or to encourage every single person who writes something because they showed up on GaG today, literally just those you can see are reaching out for help in a genuine way and are looking for some real help or advice.

[upskirtfetish]

you're just not getting it

[TomBradysJersey]

It's the internet. Some people care, some people are fake, and some people lie to try to make themselves better. At this point it comes with the territory.

[KnightCross]

nice take. but i doubt someone could really help to solve GAGers' problems/issues. Just a sweet word can make you feel better AT THAT Moment, but not really solving the issue.

[titsataki]

believe it or not giving back is the most satisfying thing..
thing is that it is not so easy.
one cannot be like I click the button I give back..

[Anonymous]

When a lot of people answer questions they use this site as a social site or one to talk rather than help , which is a shame.

[myTake Owner]

I think it's meant to be both. Not everyone has an issue. Some people are just fine, and that's a good thing. They are here to be social on social media, but there is that other percentage who are reaching out. I see no problem with both co-existing, because at any point, one may become the other and want different things from gag.

[CT_CD]

Ok I will

[StainedClass]

No thanks.